Upward Over The Mountain
by littlelindentree
Summary: AU after 3x13 "Tomorrow Blues", this story takes place in the summer of 2010 when Tim returns home from his first year away at college, Julie graduates from her last year of high school, and they find themselves meeting somewhere in the middle.
1. Chapter 1

The road sign marking the boundary of Carr County was the first thing that had made Tim Riggins smile in quite some time. Pressing down a little more firmly on the gas pedal of his Chevy, his smile widened at the next road sign:** DILLON – 10 MILES**.

Tim was on his way home from his first year at San Antonio State. Classes and practices had wrapped up, and he wasn't expected back on campus until August. He had been looking forward to the summer break for weeks, as he had planned to spend his days working alongside his brother at Riggins' Rigs, fixing cars and drinking beer, and his evenings with Lyla, home on break from Vanderbilt.

Then the email came.

Lyla had landed a summer internship in New York City through a well-connected professor, and would have been crazy to pass up the opportunity in favour of returning to Dillon and working as the receptionist at her father's car dealership for the summer.

Tim's reply had been understanding and supportive, but it hurt, and he knew then that it was probably over between them.

He tried not to let it bother him that while in New York, Lyla would probably be meeting Jason for business lunches in trendy little Manhattan restaurants to catch up and rehash the old days. He knew perfectly well that things had long since ended between Jason and Lyla, and that Jason had moved on to his own new life, but the thought of them reminiscing over sushi and sparkling water made him feel, as usual, like he didn't quite make the grade.

He'd felt that way almost every day since starting college. Everyone in Dillon had rolled their eyes and implied that San Antonio State was not a school to be taken very seriously (a good fit for Tim Riggins, they nodded) but Tim had found that it was still full of people who were smarter than he was, and had gotten in based on their grades. No one in San Antonio knew who Tim Riggins was, and as a lowly freshman and only second string fullback, no packs of rally girls had been following him around begging to do his homework. Thankfully he'd befriended his roommate, who took pity on him and helped him limp through his classes. But everyone had been saying that, compared to freshman year, sophomore year was a killer. Tim had no idea how he was going to manage.

Tim rolled his window down to let some air into the stifling truck, and gunned the engine. The faster he was on the couch with Billy, beer in hand, the better.

***

Julie Taylor had a special calendar she had created for herself several months ago which counted down the number of days until high school was over. It hung on the wall above her desk, and every morning she would rip the top sheet of paper off and place it in the recycling bin with a great deal of satisfaction.

Today, the number was a big, red 15. Three weeks of high school to go, and then Julie was free. Free to wait tables at Applebee's, at least, until it was time to go away to college.

The last year had been even lonelier than Julie had feared. Her friends and boyfriend had all gone off to college to start their lives, and in October Lois's dad had been transferred to a job in Kansas City, and had taken the family with him. After that, Julie was totally alone.

One advantage to having an entirely empty social calendar for the majority of her senior year was that Julie was able to keep her GPA very high, making getting into college relatively easy. Julie had been offered a partial scholarship to Rice University in Houston, and had accepted. Secretly she longed to attend a college outside of Texas, preferably in New England or the Pacific Northwest, but in the end the scholarship was impossible to refuse, and Julie found she was relieved that she would only be half a day's drive away from her parents in Dillon, instead of half a country away. Baby steps.

Now it was just a matter of waiting.

After tossing the discarded number into the recycling bin, Julie got herself a bowl of cereal. Dodging around her parents, who were heatedly discussing something in which she had no interest, she retreated to her bedroom. Julie flipped open the laptop that had been a gift from her parents for her 18th birthday, in preparation for college.

Noisily crunching her cereal, Julie checked her email and was pleased to see a new message from Tyra.

_**From:** TCollette_

_**Sent: **Monday, May 31, 2010 7:15 AM_

_**To: **Julie Taylor_

_**Subject:** good news!_

_Hey girl! How's good old Dillon? Just think – not much longer now and then you're out of there. You're going to love it. Almost there!!_

_I have some good news and some bad news. I managed to land a super last minute temp job here in Austin, so I won't be coming home for the summer. I'm going to try to come up on some weekends and maybe see if I can snag a couple days' vacation, but mostly I'm gonna be stuck in Austin photocopying people's crap and answering phones. But a job's a job and experience is experience, so that's life, I guess. I'm ureally/u disappointed that we won't be able to have the fun-filled summer visit we had planned. Maybe your parents would let you drive to Austin to visit me for a few days? Not sure if they trust me (or you, ha ha) that much, but give it a shot and let me know._

_Anyway, that's my news. Hope you're not too disappointed. Sorry babe. :( Wish me luck??_

_xoxo_

_Tyra_

Frowning, Julie shut her laptop with a click. She poked listlessly at her cereal. She was happy for Tyra and certainly couldn't begrudge her a good opportunity when it presented itself. But she was definitely disappointed. The last year had been crappy, socially speaking, and Julie had been looking forward to seeing some of her friends back in Dillon for the summer before she went off on her own college adventure. Only a couple weeks earlier she had gotten an enthusiastic email from Lyla saying she wouldn't be home for the summer (the two girls having developed a regular email correspondence since the night Lyla stayed at the Taylors') and she hadn't heard so much as a peep out of Matt for almost four weeks.

Four weeks. Julie's frown deepened and she shoved aside her cereal bowl, the optimism she had felt first thing in the morning slipping away.

If you didn't hear from your boyfriend in four weeks, finals or no, it probably meant you weren't even long-distance dating anymore.

With a sigh, Julie stood up and opened her closet to get dressed for school.

Only fifteen more days.

***

A lot had changed in the Riggins household since the baby was born. Mindy had moved in with Billy right after the wedding, but Tim had spent most of his time during those last weeks in Dillon with Lyla, so he hadn't taken much notice of the changes. The birth of little Jordyn Jade Riggins five months earlier had brought a tornado of diapers, cans of formula, and basket after basket after basket of laundry.

One such basket, unfortunately abandoned directly in front of Tim's bedroom door, made for an effective speed bump when Tim finally dragged himself out of bed early Monday afternoon, only to fall flat on his face, feet tangled in a pile of dirty sleepers and receiving blankets.

Moaning pitifully, Tim allowed the hard tile floor to support him while he gathered his wits about him.

"What the hell?"

Mindy's voice split Tim's head right between the eyes, and he winced.

"Sssh," he whispered, cradling his pounding head.

"Oh, for Christ's sake," Mindy muttered, stepping over Tim's prostrate, half-clothed form to get into the kitchen, where she began preparing a bottle of formula, baby Jordyn cradled awkwardly in her arms. The baby was still too little to do much more than blithely acquiesce to having everyone carry her around.

Tim was eventually able to roll over and sit up, rubbing his eyes.

"Where's Billy?" he asked, his voice scratchy.

"Billy's at the garage," Mindy replied, shifting Jordyn to her other arm with a sigh. "He got up late, but at least he got up. Good thing he's his own boss. Dumbass."

Tim glanced up at his sister-in-law. Her words were disparaging, but Tim could tell they were said with love all the same.

"I'm heading to The Landing Strip later," she said. "Gotta see if they'll let me come back for some shifts. Think you can handle the baby for a few hours until Billy gets home?"

"Sure," Tim replied, turning and beginning to sloppily refold the clean laundry he had upset.

"I'll feed her now, and then she can go down for her nap for a couple of hours, then she'll be up again. She shouldn't be too much trouble."

"Don't worry about it."

"Thanks," Mindy said, genuinely grateful. "It's hard even though there's two of us, without you or Tyra or anybody around to babysit. My mom's not real reliable, and we don't always have money for a babysitter, so..."

"It's okay," Tim replied. "Really."

"Hey, would you mind feeding her, too? I should really wax before I go."

"It's fine," Tim said, standing up stiffly.

"You sure you're sober?" she asked, holding Jordyn out to him.

"Yeah, just hungover. We'll hang out on the couch, watch some _Sports Center_. No worries."

"Great," Mindy replied, handing Jordyn over. "My baby loves _Sports Center_."

"She's a Riggins," Tim said, as though that explained everything.

Mindy dashed off to the bathroom, leaving Tim cradling Jordyn in his arms. Uncle and niece regarded one another.

"Pretty hot today, huh?" Tim asked.

Jordyn stared up at him, little frown bumps forming on her forehead as she examined this stranger.

"I'm your Uncle Timmy," he said. "We met once before. You probably don't remember, it was kind of a big day for you."

Jordyn's frown deepened, her light brown eyebrows coming together. Her face reddened.

"Hey," Tim said, "Don't cry. No crying when you're with Uncle Timmy; he doesn't do crying. Save it for your dad."

Still watching him carefully, the colour drained away from Jordyn's face, and she blinked at him.

Tim sniffed.

"You just took a big dump, huh?" he asked.

Jordyn blinked rapidly, and then began to wail.

"Okay," Tim said, holding the baby a little farther away from his bare chest. "Where do we keep the diapers, kid?"

***

"I don't know about y'all, but I cannot_ wait_ for this year to be over," Tami announced, coming to sit down on the couch next to Julie, who was reading with Gracie. At a few months shy of three years old, the littlest Taylor had become a precocious toddler possessed of an expressive mop of chestnut hair rather unfortunately inherited from her father, and an enormous crush on her big sister.

"Tired?" Julie asked her mother, turning a page in the copy of _Where the Wild Things Are_ that was propped up on her lap. Ignoring their parents, Gracie leaned into Julie's side to see the illustrations better.

"Yeah," Tami replied. "Nothing personal, honey, but all this graduation stuff is wearing me out."

"Oh, I'd skip it if I could," Julie said, smiling ruefully. "Believe me."

"Now, don't get all cynical about your graduation," her father piped up from the floor, where he was sprawled watching game tape. "It's a milestone, and it's going to be a very special day."

"Yeah, yeah," Julie grumbled. Gracie looked up at her sister, inquisitive. Julie rolled her eyes and smiled, prompting Gracie to smile back, like they had shared a secret joke.

"Hey," Eric said, his eyes twinkling, "Snow White and Rose Red. Quit conspiring, over there. I saw that look. Ain't fair to team up on your old dad."

Gracie giggled, looking up at Julie. "Rose Red," she repeated, pointing at her sister. She fudged the R sound, so that it came out much more like 'Wose Wed'. Julie grinned.

"Lord, it's a good thing y'all're this far apart in age," Tami mused, looking fondly at her daughters and taking a sip of her wine. "Any closer together and your father and I would have been in real trouble."

"Drove by Saracen's place the other day," her father piped up. "House doesn't look great, thought I'd stop by this weekend and mow the lawn, at least. You know what's going on with that?"

Julie shrugged, turning her attention back to the book. "I dunno. Shelby had to go back to Oklahoma, and I haven't really talked to Matt about it."

Lorraine Saracen had died suddenly before Christmas that year, right after the Dillon Panthers won the 2009 state championships. Her death had taken everyone by surprise, and with Matt all the way up in Chicago at school, her house had stood empty ever since Matt's mother had to return home to Oklahoma.

Julie glanced up and saw her parents exchanging a significant look, but chose to ignore it. They weren't wondering anything she wasn't wondering herself, but they didn't need to know that.

"Honey, you think you could tear yourself away from the game tape long enough to order us a pizza or something?" Tami asked, looking plaintively at her husband. "I don't think I could lift a spatula or a frying pan to save my life right now."

"Pizza!" Gracie interjected, her eyes alight at the prospect.

"We have one in favour of pizza," Tami said, smiling at her younger daughter. "Jules?"

"Pizza's fine by me."

"Pizza it is. Hon?"

Grumbling, Eric turned off the TV and stood up. "Game tape is important, you know. Football is a year-round job. Especially if we want to stand so much as a chance of getting into the playoffs next year."

"You will, daddy," Julie reassured him, "and pizza will not stand in your way."

"Exactly. Neither will extra cheese," Tami said.

Eric went off in search of a menu, muttering under his breath about being run by womenfolk.

***

"It's just really good to have you back home for a while, Timmy," Billy slurred, pouring out another round of shots.

The two Riggins brothers were seated on their couch, a bottle of Wild Turkey and two shot glasses on the table. Mindy had taken Jordyn and gone to her mother's for the evening, leaving the brothers to themselves. After three quarters of a bottle, Billy had begun to pour his heart out.

"It's good to be here," Tim replied, knocking back the shot.

"No, no," Billy said, shaking his head. "It's_ not_ good to be here, you don't have to say that just for me."

"It is," Tim insisted quietly. "Beats being stuck in some dorm with a curfew, where you can't have booze or girls or anything, or you'll get kicked off the team."

"Yeah," Billy frowned. "That doesn't sound all that awesome."

Tim shrugged.

"But it's an opportunity, Tim. It's an opportunity to have things our parents didn't... That I'll never... You're going to be_ okay_, Tim. You won't have to worry about things like, you know, deciding whether it's more important to have running water or food this month."

Tim stared at his brother, frowning. "Is it really that bad, Billy?"

"Yeah, Tim. It's that bad," Billy said, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "Babies are expensive, and I'm not doing enough business at the garage. I only have two hands, you know?"

Billy poured another round while Tim mulled this over.

"Well, I'm going to work for you, right?" Tim said. "We can drum up some more business that way, at least for a while."

"Yeah, but unfortunately I have to pay you," Billy replied, though his voice held no bitterness.

"No you don't. I'll just work to help you get on your feet this summer," Tim said. "I've got a scholarship; I'm all taken care of. Don't worry about me."

"No, Tim. I can't ask you to do that," Billy said. "I can't ask you."

"You're not asking, I'm telling," Tim said. "Don't worry about it. We'll make it work, you'll see."

"Yeah?"

"Sure, Billy. It's you and me. Just like always."

Billy smiled blearily at him, and Tim smiled back, but his heart wasn't in it. Knowing Billy, things were probably even worse than he was letting on.

***

"Good evening," Julie said, approaching a table of new arrivals in her section as she dug around in her pocket, searching for her pen. "My name's Julie and I'll be your server. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Hey, Jules."

Julie looked up at the sound of the familiar voice. Tim Riggins was slouched there in jeans and a tattered old Panthers hoodie, looking as dishevelled as ever, and he was accompanied by Billy, Mindy, and baby Jordyn.

"Hey guys," Julie smiled. "What brings you to this fine establishment?"

"We're having a little celebration," Billy replied.

"Yeah? What are you celebrating?"

"We're celebrating my little brother finishing his first year at college," said Billy, puffing up with pride, "and the fact that I've got a beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter."

Julie cast a glance at Tim, who was staring pensively down at the table.

"Damn straight," Mindy piped up. "How you doin', Julie?"

"Can't complain," Julie replied with a shrug.

"Almost done school?"

"Yeah, not much longer now," she said, before turning back to Tim. "So are you back in Dillon for the summer?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna be working with Billy at the garage."

"Oh, cool. How was your first year? San Antonio State, right?"

"It was all right," Tim replied with a noncommittal shrug.

"He didn't get to play much football," Billy explained. "Freshman second-string fullback and all that. Left him with way too much time to study, right Tim?"

Tim shot Billy a disgruntled look.

"Well," Julie said, clearing her throat. "Can I get you guys something to drink?"

"I'll have a diet Coke," Mindy said distractedly, shifting the baby in her lap.

"We'll split a pitcher of whatever's cheap," Billy said, gesturing at his brother.

"Coming right up," Julie said, leaving the expanding Riggins clan to bicker amongst themselves.

Four pitchers, three steaks, and one plate of hot wings later, it was closing time and the Riggins brothers were still happily ensconced in her section, taking turns chasing one another to the bottom of the next glass of beer. Mindy had taken the baby and gone home hours earlier, as had everyone else in the restaurant.

"Hey guys," Julie said, hoping she was loud enough to be heard over their laughter, "we're closing."

"Does that mean you can have a drink with us?" Billy grinned.

"Unfortunately, no," Julie replied. "It means that soon the lights will be turned off and we'll have to leave. Also, I'm underage. Technically I shouldn't have been serving him," she gestured at Tim. "But I figured that no one else in Dillon cares, so why should I?"

"Come on, Billy," Tim – for once the more sober of the two – said as he stood up. "Can't keep her here all night."

When Julie emerged from the dark restaurant sometime later, she found the parking lot empty save for her car and Tim's black Chevy. Billy and Tim were standing in front of it, apparently debating which of them was too drunk to drive. Julie wandered over.

"As an unbiased third party, I have to say that you're both too drunk to drive," she said.

Tim turned as though to tell her not to worry about it, and Billy's legs chose that moment to fail him. He collapsed in a heap on the pavement.

"Wow," Tim said, shaking his head.

"Come on," Julie said with a roll of her eyes. "I'll give you a ride."

Tim managed to hoist his brother into the back seat of Julie's small car before climbing into the passenger side himself. Julie suppressed a smile at the sight of him crammed into the small space, his knees against the glove compartment.

"Sorry," Julie said, pulling out of the lot. "Probably not quite as much leg room as your truck."

"Not quite," Tim smiled. "But thanks, I appreciate it. He does, too."

There was an affirming groan from the back seat.

"Is he going to be okay back there?" Julie asked, glancing in the rear view mirror.

"Billy!" Tim barked, turning to look into the back seat. "No puking!"

Another groan.

"He'll be fine," Tim assured her in his smoothest "shucks, ma'am" tone.

They drove in silence for several minutes, Billy's snoring the only sound in the car.

"So," Julie said finally, the silence making her feel awkward. "What's college like?"

"Dunno," Tim shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

"I can't wait for high school to be over. I got accepted into Rice, and I just want to hurry up and _be _there, you know?"

"Congrats," he said. "I hear that's a good school."

"Yeah, it just sucks that no one's coming home for the summer."

"Oh yeah?" he asked.

"Tyra's staying in Austin, and I guess you know Lyla's going to be in New York. _New York! _I'm so jealous," she sighed. "I don't know if Matt's even coming home."

"You and Seven still together?" Tim asked. Julie could feel him looking at her, but she didn't take her eyes off the road.

"Yeah," she replied hesitantly. "Well, I guess we are. I don't know. I haven't seen him since September and I haven't heard from him in a few weeks, so... It's complicated, you know?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Are you and Lyla still...? She hasn't really mentioned you."

"She hasn't?"

"Um, no," Julie frowned, turning onto Tim's street. "Sorry – I probably shouldn't have said that."

"No, it's okay. It's... Yeah. Complicated, like you said. She's got her own life. Doesn't need me to hold her back."

"Yeah," Julie replied hesitantly, not knowing what else to say. She pulled up in front of the Riggins house. Its front yard looked strangely bereft without its Dillon Panthers sign, but she could see that Mindy had tried to make it more homey – a few pots of geraniums had been placed by the front step.

"Looks like the girls have gone to bed," Julie remarked, nodding towards the dark house.

"Looks like," Tim replied.

A guttural snort from the back seat reminded them both that Billy was still passed out.

"Better get him inside," Tim said.

They got out of Julie's car and, with Tim doing most of the heavy lifting, dragged Billy up to the house.

"Do you do this often?" Julie asked, unlocking the front door.

"Do what?" Tim groaned, heaving his unconscious brother through the front door.

"Help semi-conscious drunks get home safely," she smiled, turning on a light so Tim could find his way. He disappeared into the master bedroom and, after a minute, emerged with his brother no longer in tow.

"Yeah," he guffawed, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "Maybe I should start a business."

"You'd do all right in Dillon," Julie replied. "Serving the clientele of The Landing Strip alone..."

They both laughed, standing across the foyer smiling at each other for several beats, until Julie started to feel awkward.

"Okay," she said, turning to leave. "I should go."

"Thanks for the ride," Tim said, walking her to the door. "Best waitress I've ever had. Above and beyond the call of duty."

"No problem," she smiled. "Goodnight!"

Julie walked down the sloping lawn to her car and got in. Pulling away, she saw Tim was still standing in the doorway. She waved tentatively, smiling when he waved back before disappearing into the house.

On the way home, Julie mused that it was nice that Tim Riggins was back in Dillon, if only so she had _someone _resembling a friend in town.


	2. Chapter 2

Tim was asleep, having a weird dream involving Lyla and Buddy and some kind of fancy dress ball where everyone was wearing masks, like something out of a Disney movie, when he was awoken by the slam of the front door and shouts in the other room. He frowned, rubbing his eyes blearily.

"I don't want you workin' there, Min. End of story."

Billy and Mindy were home, and they were obviously in the middle of an argument. Tim hoped they didn't wake Jordyn – it had taken him forever to get her to sleep. She'd be fine when he put her down in her crib, but every time he tried to leave the room, she would start to wail. It was the kind of thing babies did that was cute exactly once before it became incredibly frustrating.

"No, dumbass, it's not the end of the story. We need the money. Besides, we've been through this – you do inot/i tell me what to do. You don't own me."

"I don't own you, but you're my wife, and I get a say in this. Anyway, we're fine for money."

"We are _not_ fine for money, Billy. Don't bullshit me. Don't you dare! I'm not stupid. What am I supposed to do, sit on my ass at home with the baby while you bust your hump and we barely make ends meet?"

Tim grimaced, wishing not for the first time that the walls in their house were thicker. Overhearing the fighting in the other room made him feel like he was eight years old again, sticking his fingers in his ears to muffle the sounds of shouting and breaking glass.

"No, but what kind of man lets his wife and the mother of his daughter strip so we can put food on the table?"

"Is that what this is about, the stripping?"

"Damn it, Mindy! Of course it's about the stripping!"

"In case you forgot, Billy Riggins, we _got together_ because I work at The Landing Strip," Mindy bit out. Her voice suddenly changed from angry to sweet, like the flip of a switch. "Remember that night, monkey? Jimmy cut you off and they kicked you out, and I tripped over you when I went to take out the garbage?"

"I remember," Billy replied. There was a long pause, and then Billy spoke again, softer this time. "Just don't want my wife having to work that way."

"I stopped doing that VIP stuff when we got together," Mindy replied quietly. "You know I did, right? You believe me?"

"I believe you, baby. But what about Jordyn, Mindy? You want her to grow up watchin' her mama do that?"

"I'm not ashamed of what I do, Billy. It's just a job. Besides, what the hell else am I supposed to do? I've been working at The Landing Strip since I was 17."

"Too bad Tyra ain't still working at Applebee's, she coulda gotten you a job, maybe."

"Maybe. Except they don't let you dump drinks on customers when they get handsy."

Billy sighed harshly. Tim could picture how he must look, rubbing his face in agitation.

"What are we gonna do, Min?"

"Nothing right now. Dave said he'd try to get me back into the rotation, even if I'm just serving drinks."

"What are we supposed to do about Jordyn while we're working, Mindy? A strip club is no place for a baby. Even I know that."

"I don't know... Maybe you and Tim could take her to the garage?"

"I don't think a garage is a great place for a baby, either."

"We'll just have to get somebody to watch her, is all. It'd only be for a few hours a few days a week from when I leave until when Tim gets home."

"Yeah? Who's gonna watch a baby all afternoon for next to nothing?"

Tim sat, listening to the silence that fell between his brother and his sister-in-law, wracking his brain for some kind of solution to their problems. Maybe he could get another job in the evenings so he could help out with the bills and Mindy wouldn't have to go back to stripping? That would help. Tim suspected, though, that Mindy was determined to go back to work whether they needed the money or not.

But who did they know who could watch Jordyn for them in the afternoons, who was trustworthy, knew babies, and would do it out of the goodness of their heart, given that Billy and Mindy couldn't afford to pay them much?

Tim rolled over, burying his face in his pillow with a frustrated sigh. He was going to have to help them figure something out. If he didn't, who else would?

***

Julie sighed, staring out the window. She was stuck in American History, going through the motions of the last days of classes, while everyone else was out there, enjoying everything else the world had to offer. That's how it seemed to her, anyway.

Her thoughts were interrupted not by the class she was supposed to be paying attention to, but by a low buzz coming from the backpack leaning against her chair. With as much subtlety as she could manage, Julie eased a hand down into her bag and retrieved her phone. Checking that the teacher was occupied elsewhere in the room, Julie flipped it open under her desk.

**_NEW MESSAGE FROM MATT_**

Frowning, Julie opened the message. _We need to talk. You free?_

Usually Julie would have texted him back to call her later, but they hadn't talked in ages. Something was obviously up. Sighing, she raised her hand and waited until the teacher noticed her. After getting permission to go to the bathroom, she slipped her cell into her pocket and left the classroom, hurrying towards the nearest exit. The day outside was just as beautiful as it had seemed from indoors, and Julie found a secluded, shady spot up against the school where she wouldn't be noticed. Pulling her phone out again, she quickly dialed Matt's number.

"Hello?" Matt's voice sounded quiet and far away.

"Hey, it's me."

"Jules, hey." Julie could hear the hesitation in his voice and frowned. Like he didn't have call display and knew she would be calling him anyway? Immediately she became frustrated.

"Hi, Matt. Good to hear from you," she said.

"I know," Matt replied, voice belying his guilt, "it's been forever. I'm really sorry, it's been crazy busy here with finals and all."

"Sure," Julie replied, although her first response was more along the lines of, _Too busy to drop your girlfriend an email?_ "So, what's up?"

"I just sorta thought maybe we should talk," he said.

Julie slumped against the brick wall of the school. "Okay," she said, "But I'm actually supposed to be in class right now, so..."

"Oh, right," Matt said. "Okay, well. Here's the thing, um..."

"Yeah?"

"I'm not coming home to Dillon this summer," he said. "I got a summer job here in Chicago, and since Grandma died and Shelby went back to Oklahoma, I guess there's just really not much point. You know?"

"Not much point in coming home to see your girlfriend?" she asked, unable to keep the hurt, pleading tone out of her voice.

"We're not..." she heard Matt sigh. "We're not even really together anymore, Julie. Not really."

Julie inhaled sharply, waiting for the pain to hit her. Several seconds passed.

"Jules?"

_Ah, yes_, she thought as her eyes filled with hot, angry tears. _There it is._

"Did you meet someone?" she whispered, hating herself for even asking.

"No, no!" he replied, and Julie believed him. "No, that's not it. It's just... We're in such different places, and who knows where we're going to be after this... I mean, I think maybe it's just better this way. It's not fair to either of us, having these expectations of each other. I didn't... I didn't want it to be true, but it is."

Julie thought of Matt, a thousand miles away in Chicago, meeting new people and getting a job and setting down roots. When his grandma had died, money was so tight that Matt hadn't even been able to get home for the funeral, relying on his mother to make all the arrangements. Julie only knew a little of how hard it had been on him; he barely talked to her about it. She tried to imagine him coming home to stay in that empty house for the summer, just to work at the Alamo Freeze and see her.

"No, you're right," she said. "It's too hard, and I can't expect you to come back here just for me. Not with everything that's happened."

"I'm sorry," he said softly. There was a long pause, punctuated only by the sound of their tense breathing. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Julie replied, her voice breaking. "I guess this is goodbye, huh?"

There was a long pause before Matt whispered, "I guess so."

"I'll always love you," Julie said, unable to help herself. "No matter what happens."

"No matter what happens," Matt repeated, a smile in his voice at the shared memory of their kiss in the middle of that muddy cow field, more than three years earlier. Julie smiled back at him, although he couldn't see her.

"Goodbye, Matt," Julie said, and before she could think better of it, she clicked her phone shut.

Staring out at the football field with her arms crossed over her chest, she took several deep breaths to steady herself. So that was it. They gave it a try, and it didn't work out. That's life.

_It's okay_, she thought, walking back into the dim, air-conditioned school and swallowing the painful lump in her throat. _I never wanted to be the kind of girl who married her high school sweetheart, anyway._

***

"Where we_ going_?" Gracie asked, her voice exasperated as she tugged fitfully at the hand held securely in her older sister's.

"I really don't know," Julie said. "Maybe this is the right one."

She turned down aisle twelve of the grocery store, trying to find scouring pads. Her mother had decided that a late spring clean was better than no spring clean at all, but had run out of supplies at a crucial stage in the cleaning of the kitchen. Julie had been commissioned to get more. Once upon a time she would have griped about it, but these days she was grateful for any excuse to get out of the house. It beat sitting around feeling sorry for herself. She was also aware that her mother was eager to get Gracie off her hands now and then, so bringing her little sister along only served to earn Julie more brownie points.

"Aha!" Julie said, leaning down and picking up a bright yellow box from one of the bottom shelves.

"Afternoon, ladies."

Julie stood up abruptly, Gracie's hand still in hers, to find Tim Riggins standing next to them, shopping basket hanging loosely from his hand, looking as casually, unintentionally handsome as ever.

"Hey," she greeted breathlessly, feeling a little lame being caught in the cleaning products aisle with her baby sister and a box of SOS pads on her day off. Not that Tim was any more of a rock star – his basket contained three boxes of Hamburger Helper and a can of baby formula. She stood up straighter as Gracie, who had been very shy around strangers lately, shuffled closer to her, almost hiding behind her leg.

"Gracie," Julie said, trying to gently urge her sister forward again, "this is Tim Riggins, he's one of Dad's old players. He used to play with Matt. You remember Matt, right?"

Gracie looked up at Tim with large, suspicious eyes for a moment before shaking her head.

Julie grimaced. "It's been a while," she mumbled to Tim. He nodded and bent down to look Gracie in the eye.

"You probably don't remember me," he said, "but we go way back. We used to hang out when you were just a baby. But you're a big girl now, huh?"

Gracie shrugged, still shy.

Tim looked up at Julie, smiling ruefully. "Guess I've lost my touch," he said, standing up and scratching his head.

"Don't beat yourself up, she's pretty shy with everyone but us these days."

"Guess so," Tim replied. There was silence for a moment, as he stood there looking at her with a strange expression on his face. He glanced down at Gracie, and then back up at Julie once more. "Hey, when do you work, usually?"

"Sorry?" Julie asked, frowning in confusion at the abrupt change of subject.

"Do you ever have shifts during the day?"

"Uh, no. They have me on evenings and weekends since I'm still finishing school," she replied.

"Are you free in the afternoons?"

"Yeah," she replied, hesitant. "I only had a couple of credits to finish this semester, so my schedule's pretty open. Why?"

"I was just thinking... You've got a baby sister."

"Yeah, and?" Julie replied. What was Tim getting at, and why was he looking at her like he had just won the lottery?

"So you know about babies."

"Uh, sure. I guess."

"Would you want to babysit Jordyn in the afternoons, maybe? Thing is, I'm supposed to start working with Billy at the garage, and they really need the money from Mindy's shifts at The Landing Strip right now, but there's no one around to watch the baby, and they can't afford daycare."

"Oh," Julie said, eyebrows raised.

"Look, you don't have to answer right away. I know it's weird, and they can't pay you much, but they could really use the help."

"No, it's fine. Actually, I'd like that. As long as I can study and stuff while I'm there."

"Sure, whatever," Tim shrugged.

"Then, okay."

"Great," Tim said, smiling widely. Julie smiled back, a bit bewildered – she couldn't recall ever seeing Tim so pleased before.

"So, when do you need me to start?"

"Uh, Mindy has a shift tomorrow afternoon. That too short notice?"

"No, that should be fine. What time?"

"Around two, I guess?"

"Okay," Julie said, shrugging. "I'll come by around two."

"Sweet," Tim grinned. "See you ladies later." With that, he continued down the aisle of cleaning products before turning the corner and disappearing. Julie turned back to her sister, who had been silently examining the pattern on the laminate floor tiles during their conversation. Gracie looked up, squinting in the direction Tim had gone.

"Tim?" she asked, peering up at her big sister.

"That's right," Julie replied, bending down to pick Gracie up, the box of scouring pads tucked in the crook of her other arm. "That was Tim."

The two sisters made their way through the store to the checkout before walking back out into the hot afternoon. While she was buckling Gracie into her car seat in the family SUV, Julie caught a glimpse of Tim's black truck pulling out of the parking lot. She watched it disappear before looking down to see Gracie once again contemplating her very seriously.

"On the one hand, I have another job, which means more money," Julie said to her, fastening the last strap on the car seat. "On the other hand, this means I'm Tim Riggins's babysitter."

"Riggins?" Gracie offered, her slight speech impediment making it come out as "Wiggins."

Julie smiled, brushing the dark curls up off Gracie's hot forehead.

"I wonder if mom will let us add 'Tim Riggins' to our 'Words Gracie Knows' list on the fridge."

***

Tim parked his truck haphazardly in front of Riggins' Rigs, stopping only to greet Chop Block, the enormous black Texas longhorn steer who had taken up residence in the paddock in front of Riggins' Rigs. The large animal lifted his head and lowed half-heartedly at Tim before turning his attention back to the dry, yellow grass he was stripping off the ground.

He headed into the garage, where he found Billy's legs sticking out from underneath an old Bonneville.

"Hey Billy," he said quietly, trying to avoid a repeat of an incident which had happened several days earlier, when he had surprised Billy and made him crack his head against the undercarriage of the car he'd been working on.

"Hey, little brother," Billy replied, a hand coming out from under the car to grope for a wrench. "What's up? You get something for dinner? Mindy won't quit calling about it."

"Yeah, I got something," Tim said, crouching down next to his brother. "I got a couple things, actually. I've got a surprise for you."

"Surprise?" Billy asked, distracted. "Hand me that wrench."

Tim placed the tool in Billy's oil-smeared, outstretched hand.

"Sure, a surprise. I was at the store, and I found the answer to all your problems."

"What, someone left a duffel bag full of hundreds in the middle of the aisle?"

"No," Tim grinned, almost bouncing with excitement. "Even better. I found Julie Taylor."

"Julie Taylor," Billy repeated, unimpressed.

"Sure, Julie Taylor, Coach's daughter."

"Well, I'm real glad you can still get a date, Tim. Enjoy it while it lasts."

Tim scowled. "What I meant was I found an answer to your problem with Mindy and the baby. Julie's gonna babysit in the afternoons so we can work and so can Mindy."

Billy was quiet for a moment, and then he rolled himself out from under the car to look at Tim. "What are you talking about?" he asked, frowning.

"I'm talking about how there's not enough money and we all need to be working to make ends meet and how this is going to help," Tim said. He took in the sour look on his brother's face. "What?"

Billy stood up, wiping his hands on a rag. "What the hell's wrong with you?" he spat, his face red with anger.

Tim frowned, standing slowly. "What?"

"Did you hear me and Mindy fighting about her going back to work?"

Tim shrugged.

"Damn it, Tim, that's_ private_. Our money stuff – that's between me and Mindy, not you. That's family business."

Tim scratched his head, still not sure what Billy was upset about. "_I'm_ family, Billy," he replied.

Billy looked taken aback for a brief moment before recovering, running a hand through his hair in aggravation.

"The point is, Tim, you had no right to go around telling people our business and trying to find a babysitter for Little Jay."

"I'm sorry," Tim shrugged. "I just thought maybe this was a way to make everybody happy."

"Don't you get it, Tim? I don't want Mindy going back to work _at all_. I want her to stay home with Jordyn, like a normal mom. Like a normal family."

Tim watched his brother closely, but didn't reply.

"You remember what it was like," Billy said softly, looking down at the dusty garage floor, "coming home from school or wherever and Dad'd be gone on a bender again and Mom'd be passed out on the bathroom floor, if we were lucky. I want Jordyn to have a normal family, a real family."

"That's never gonna happen, Billy," Tim said vehemently. "You're not Dad. You were never Dad. Just look at you. You... Billy, you're ten times the father Dad ever was."

Billy looked back at him for a long moment before clearing his throat. "Thanks."

"Listen," Tim said, exhaling loudly. "You wanna know what I think?"

"What?" Billy asked, crossing his arms over his chest and regarding his brother seriously.

"Seems to me that it'll make Mindy happy to go back to work. Julie can come over and watch Jordyn in the afternoons while we bring in some bacon. Everyone's happy. What good's it gonna do Jordyn to grow up listening to you guys fight about money all the time when you don't have to?"

Billy silently considered this for a moment before glancing up at Tim. "You know, you can be kinda smart when you try," he said.

Tim shrugged. "What do you think? I told Taylor we couldn't pay her much and she still said sure."

"Probably not gonna get a better deal than that," Billy mused, scratching his chin. "Besides, if we put out an ad for a babysitter, we're just gonna get fifty rally girls calling our house so they can have a crack at digging through your underwear drawer."

"Probably," Tim agreed mildly.

"All right, then," Billy said, resigned. "We can try it out, see how it goes."

"Sweet," Tim said, grinning at Billy.

"But if one single guy comes into this garage and tells me how he saw my wife's cans the night before, I'm gonna lose it. For real," Billy grumbled.

"I know, Billy," Tim replied, grimacing. "I know."


	3. Chapter 3

Julie made it over to the Rigginses' by two o'clock on her first day of babysitting, arriving to find Mindy with her hair up in foils and a screaming baby resting on her hip.

"Thank god you're here," she said, shoving Jordyn at Julie. "I think I left the goddamn bleach on too long." She dashed off to the bathroom, leaving Julie and Jordyn alone.

Soothing the red-faced baby as best she could, Julie took a look around the house. It was a disastrous mess; a combination of frat house and nursery. Dirty dishes, beer bottles, pizza boxes, laundry, and open containers of food were everywhere. Not only was it messy, but it was dirty, too; an open bag of garbage was sitting next to the breakfast bar, and the whole place smelled like stale beer and diapers.

Trying not to show her disgust, Julie patted Jordyn's back and marveled that anyone could live like this. She wasn't exactly a neat freak, but this was ridiculous.

Mindy emerged from the bedroom a moment later, her hair up in a towel. She must have caught Julie's expression, for she crossed her arms over her chest and held her chin up high.

"It's hard when you've got a newborn and you can't just stay home all day and play with her and do laundry and all that. Not everyone's husband has a job that pays the bills," she said, her voice defensive.

"I know," Julie said, regarding the other woman warily.

"Good," Mindy replied defiantly, her bottom lip trembling. Suddenly, she sat down hard on the coffee table and began weeping, her body wracking with great sobs that sounded as though they came up from deep inside her.

Julie stood there for a moment, stunned, before walking over and sitting down next to her, Jordyn still tucked in the crook of her arm. The baby was quiet now, looking just as alarmed by this turn of events as Julie felt.

"Um, it's okay," Julie offered, patting Mindy awkwardly on the back. "It's a lot for one person to handle, even with help."

"Thanks," Mindy gasped, sniffling. She turned and looked at Julie properly. "I'm sorry, this is so embarrassing. You must think I'm crazy."

"I don't think you're crazy," Julie replied. There was a pause as Julie tried to think of something to say to make amends. "You want to know something?"

Mindy nodded, wiping at her smudged eye make-up.

"When my mom had my baby sister Gracie, our whole family nearly fell apart. It was way too much for her to deal with on her own. My dad was in Austin at TMU and I was... not around, and it was just too much. I thought my mom was seriously going to have a nervous breakdown. So it's not like other moms have it all figured out, you know?"

"You're real sweet," Mindy said after a pause, blinking her tears away. "I can see why Tyra likes you."

"Thanks," Julie replied, blushing.

"Okay, enough with the pity party," Mindy said, standing up just as abruptly as she had sat down. "I'd better get going. Don't worry about the mess, just try to work around it."

Mindy disappeared back into the bedroom to finish getting ready, and she left only a few minutes later, shouting instructions for Jordyn's routine across the room as she made for the door. In the meantime, Julie had gotten Jordyn changed and temporarily settled on the couch.

The door closed behind Mindy, and Julie and Jordyn were left alone. The baby regarded her sitter with some trepidation.

Taking a long look around the room, Julie decided to start with the garbage, and go from there.

***

Tim pulled into the driveway of the house, shutting the engine off with a sigh. It was hot, he was tired, and it had been a long day. It beat studying all day, especially given the pleased smiles Billy kept shooting him, but his entire body ached like Coach had just made him run twenty suicides.

After dropping Billy off at The Landing Strip to hang around while Mindy finished up her shift, Tim was looking forward to an evening of beer and ESPN.

"-and that's why men are pigs."

Tim stood in the doorway of his house, staring at Julie, who was stretched out on the couch with Jordyn resting quietly in the crook of her arm. He was about to complain about what Julie was telling his niece when it dawned on him that the house did not smell like dirty diapers, or garbage, or beer, or vaguely like something had died. Confused, he looked around and found that the place was spotless, or as close to spotless as it could be.

All the garbage and empty beer bottles had been put out, all the dishes washed and put away, the windows opened to let some fresh air in, the floors swept, and both the clean and dirty laundry dealt with. The kitchen had been cleaned, and the living room dusted. Tim could barely believe what he was seeing.

"Hey," Julie greeted from the couch, with a little wave of her free hand.

"Holy crap," he said.

"What?" she asked, muting the TV.

"You cleaned up," he said.

"Yeah."

"You didn't have to do that," he said, closing the door behind him and putting his keys and his sunglasses down carefully on the table by the door, feeling a bit like he was in a museum.

"I know," Julie said. "But I felt so bad for Mindy, she was practically beside herself when I got here."

Tim frowned, sniffing the air. "Is that spaghetti?"

"Yeah," Julie replied, sitting up carefully and scooping Jordyn into her arms. "I wasn't sure who'd be here for dinner, but there's enough that you can stick it in the freezer for later."

"Wow," Tim said, wandering into the kitchen, where a pot of spaghetti sauce was bubbling on low heat on the stove. "Billy and Min are probably gonna have dinner at The Landing Strip. You shouldn't have gone to all that trouble for me."

"I didn't really do it for _you_," Julie smiled, coming into the kitchen and handing Jordyn to Tim before checking the sauce. "It was more for Mindy. She's really got a lot on her plate, now that she's working again."

"Yeah, I know," Tim replied, making a face at Jordyn and smiling when she laughed. "I feel bad, not being around to help them out."

"You're working with Billy at the garage," she said, stirring the sauce. "That's helping out."

"Yeah," Tim replied, unconvinced.

"It is!" Julie insisted. "You're helping Billy get his business off the ground. That's a big deal."

Tim shrugged, looking away. He wondered if Julie knew how much like her mother she sounded when she talked like that.

"Okay, well," Julie sighed, leaving the kitchen and grabbing her bag. "Jordyn ate about an hour ago and I've changed her, so she should be fine for a while. Just boil the pasta and you're good to go. Tell Mindy I'll be back tomorrow around the same time, I just have to run an err-"

"Where are you going?" Tim asked.

Julie blinked at him. "Uh, home?"

"Aren't you gonna stay for dinner?"

Julie hesitated for a moment, looking a bit confused. Tim supposed it was a little strange, but it felt wrong just letting her leave after everything she had already done.

"Sure," she replied, dropping her bag on the floor. "Why not?"

Julie put Jordyn to bed while Tim finished up the spaghetti. Although he usually ate in front of the TV, he made use of the uncluttered table and the clean cutlery, and set the table. He'd eaten with the Taylors, and knew that they nearly always ate together at the table.

When Julie came out of the master bedroom, she stopped and looked at the table for a moment, perplexed, before smiling and coming over to the counter.

"All ready?" she asked.

"Yeah," Tim said, handing her a plate piled high with a big serving of spaghetti. Julie's eyes went round at the Riggins-sized portion, but she said nothing, carrying the plate over to the table.

"This looks great," Tim said, sitting down across from her. "I can't thank you enough for this, and for the house, and for looking after Jordyn. Seriously."

"It's fine," Julie shrugged. "She's a good baby, and besides, I have nothing else to do in the afternoons except check my email over and over."

"Yeah?" Tim asked, through a mouthful of spaghetti.

"Yeah. It's been kind of a dull year around here. None of my friends are around, you know?"

"What about what's-her-name?" Tim asked. "The one with the thing for me."

"You'll be crushed to hear that she moved to Kansas City a few months ago," Julie laughed, rolling her eyes. "I've been flying solo ever since."

"Damn," Tim said, reaching for his beer. "I was gonna ask her out, too."

"I'll be sure to let her know," Julie replied. "She'll be just devastated."

"I'll bet," Tim smiled.

"So, seriously," Julie said, prodding her spaghetti somewhat listlessly with her fork. "You still haven't told me; what's college like? I'm dying to hear all the boring details."

"It was okay," Tim said simply, shrugging.

Tim could feel Julie watching him contemplatively. "So you hated it?"

"No," he replied, glancing up at her with some surprise. "No, I didn't hate it, I just... I dunno, I didn't get to play much football, you know? First-string was this senior from Waco, so they sorta let him have the season, since it was his last year. Only fair, I guess, but it was a bummer."

"That sucks," Julie nodded. "Did you get to start at all?"

"Not once," Tim replied, frowning down at his plate. "I'll probably get to next year, but it's not the same as here in Dillon. It's big, and nobody knows anybody else, and Coach isn't there, and all my classes are real hard..." He looked up at Julie suddenly, realising that he had said all this out loud. "Sorry," he said gruffly, blushing a little. "Didn't mean to whine about it."

"No, it's okay," Julie said. "It's kind of refreshing, actually. I've spent most of this year hearing about how great and wonderful college is, so I certainly don't mind."

"Yeah," Tim replied, twirling a forkful of spaghetti. He wondered if he stopped talking, Julie would eat something, which would mean he could _also _eat something.

"So, Matt dumped me," Julie said, after a pause, obviously trying to fill the awkward silence with something. Tim stared. They needed a topic of conversation, and she picked _that_?

"Oh."

It wasn't a question, but Julie didn't seem to notice. "Yeah, I mean, I guess it was kind of mutual, really. He got a summer job in Chicago so he was phoning to tell me that he wouldn't be home this summer, and it just kind of evolved from there, you know?"

Tim nodded, unsure what kind of response she wanted. She didn't sound very upset, just sort of resigned, so she probably wasn't fishing for any Matt-bashing from him. He ate another mouthful of spaghetti while he thought it over.

"It sucks," he ventured finally, "doing the whole long distance thing."

"Right?" Julie replied quickly. "I mean, we talked about breaking up before he went away, only neither of us really wanted to. But maybe it wasn't worth the trouble."

Tim frowned at her, at the bitter tone in her voice. "It's always worth the trouble," he said.

"Do you really believe that, even after everything with Lyla?"

Tim shrugged, looking down at this plate and twirling another forkful of pasta. "Yeah, I think I do."

"You're more of a romantic than I would have guessed, Riggins," Julie said wryly, the serious look on her face disappearing to be replaced by a teasing smile. "Jordyn told me that you were a big softie, but I was skeptical."

Tim laughed, relieved that the mood had been lightened. "She's always tattling on me."

"She's a good baby," Julie said, leaning her elbows on the table and watching him. "It must be pretty weird to be an uncle, huh?"

"I dunno," he said, studiously wiping his plate with a piece of garlic bread and considering going back for seconds. "About the same as becoming a big sister when you're nearly old enough to have your own."

"Old enough to have my own?" Julie grimaced. "Technically, I guess, but oh god. Please no."

Tim glanced up at her. "You don't want kids?"

"I don't know," Julie replied, looking surprised by the question. She shook her head and looked down at her plate. "I guess I never really thought about it."

"I figured that was something all girls wanted," Tim shrugged.

"You've got a lot to learn about girls."

"I think there are some gals around here that'll agree with you on that one."

"I think so," Julie agreed with a smile.

They finished eating, Julie catching Tim up on all the Dillon gossip he'd missed, including a rundown of the football season and the heated rivalry that had arisen between the Dillon Panthers and the East Dillon Lions. Tim was surprised at the amount of detail Julie went into about the football; he had always assumed that she was one of those girls who looked down her nose at football, like Tyra. Whether she was or not, she still knew a hell of a lot about it. It was probably hard to avoid, growing up with Coach for a father.

Late that night, after Julie had left and Billy and Mindy had come home, Tim was stretched out in bed, on the verge of falling asleep. That was when it hit him that dinner with Julie had felt more like a date than anything Tim had experienced since he went away to college.

***

Julie sat at her laptop, watching the cursor blink at her. She was working on her last paper for English Lit, and unfortunately, it wasn't going well. She knew the material and knew what she wanted to say, but the words just weren't coming.

She was happy to be interrupted, then, by the beeping of her phone. She retrieved it from her bag and flipped it open, finding a new message from Tyra: _Free for a chat?_

Abandoning her paper, Julie stretched out on her bed and called Tyra's number. She picked up on the second ring.

"Hey, stranger," Tyra greeted her. Julie smiled, happy just to hear her friend's voice.

"Hey," Julie replied. "How's life as a working girl?"

Tyra made an inarticulate sound of frustration. "Let's just say that I'm starting to identify a little too much with Dolly Parton."

"'9 to 5' or... 'Dumb Blonde'?"

"'9 to 5', although 'Dumb Blonde' has always been a personal favourite," Tyra replied, laughing. "Anyway, the business world really is sort of a boys' club, as it turns out. But my boss is pretty cool. She's been in marketing for thirty years and she's got tons of good advice. I'm learning a lot, so I think it'll be okay."

"That's good."

"How about you? Counting down the days still?"

"Yeah, of course. I'm keeping pretty busy, though."

"Oh yeah? Hope they're not working you too hard at good old Applebee's," Tyra replied. Julie could picture the roll of the eyes that must have accompanied her words. She grinned.

"Naturally. Jeff, that one guy in the kitchen? Still a total perv."

"You say that like you're surprised."

"I guess I just never realised how much of a perv-blocking shield you were," Julie said, laughing.

"Oh, jeez. I'm really flattered, Jules, thank you."

"You're welcome," Julie said, and then paused. "I've actually just gotten a second job."

"A second job?" Tyra asked, surprised. "Where?"

"Um, babysitting for your sister and Billy."

There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment before Tyra spoke again.

"I'm sorry, did I hear you right? You're babysitting for Mindy and Billy?"

"That is the situation, yes."

"Right. Now, was this before or after your personality-altering brain injury?"

"After, obviously," Julie replied dryly.

"Of course."

"It's not that big of a deal," Julie laughed. "It's a little extra cash to line my pockets, and anyway, I think they really needed the help."

"I know," Tyra said, her voice becoming more serious. "That's good for them, I guess. Mindy's been worrying about money ever since the baby was born."

"It's tough right now."

"So, how'd you get roped into that?"

"It was kind of weird, actually," Julie said, rolling over onto her stomach and leaning on her pillow. "I ran into Tim at the grocery store one day when I was there with Gracie, and I guess the thought sort of occurred to him, in whatever way thoughts occur to Tim Riggins."

Tyra guffawed. "Well, consider yourself flattered, because they don't occur often."

Julie laughed, then immediately felt bad for making fun of Tim. "Don't, he's nice."

"He's 'nice'?" Tyra repeated. "Oh, please. Tim Riggins is many things, but I'm not sure that 'nice' is one of them."

"He is. He's really worried about Billy, and Jordyn, and Mindy, too. Cut him some slack."

"All right, all right," Tyra grumbled. "I guess you'd know better than I would, being his _babysitter_ and all."

"Oh god, I am _not _Tim Riggins's babysitter."

"'Tim Riggins's babysitter,'" Tyra repeated thoughtfully. "Sounds like the title of an amateur porno produced by the Dillon High rally girls."

"Gross," Julie grimaced. "Not that the rally girls seem particularly interested in him, these days."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah," Julie replied. "I mean, he hasn't been home long, but it's not like girls are molesting him in the streets or whatever. Maybe the women of Dillon are finally over Tim Riggins."

"Incredible," Tyra said. There was a pause, and then Julie laughed.

"What?" Tyra asked. "What's funny?"

"I was just thinking – here we are, on a weekday night, sitting up on the phone talking about Tim Riggins. It's just like the high school experience we managed_ not_ to have."

"Speak for yourself," Tyra said, laughing. "That is one experience I_ wish_ I hadn't had."

"God," Julie replied. "How weird is it that his brother is married to Mindy? You're_ family_."

"Please don't remind me," Tyra groaned. "The nicest thing about Austin is _not _having to be reminded of that at every turn. Don't rob me of that. I'm begging you."

Both girls laughed, and then fell silent. Julie stared down at the pattern on her bedspread, suddenly overcome with a pang of loneliness for her friend. She and Tyra weren't usually too gushy with their feelings, but Julie couldn't help herself.

"Hey," she said softly. "I miss you."

"I miss you too," Tyra replied, her voice quiet. "You know, I was so hell bent on getting out of Dillon, and I've had an amazing year, but sometimes... I don't know. Sometimes I wish I could just go back and go to a stupid football game with you to cheer Landry on, and then go back to my place to watch a movie and eat too much ice cream. It's stupid."

"It's not stupid," Julie said, smiling. "It's not stupid at all."

Silence fell again between them, and then Tyra sighed on the other end.

"Ugh, hate to be a buzzkill, but I have to get up for work tomorrow."

"Yeah, I've got school."

"Okay, I'll let you go. Talk to you soon. Say hey at your mom for me, okay?"

"I will," Julie replied. "Don't let The Man get you down."

Tyra laughed. "I definitely won't. Bye, Jules."

"Bye."

Julie hung up the phone, then rolled over to look at her bedroom ceiling. She stared up at it for a long time, just letting her mind wander over everything that had happened recently, and everything that was going to happen soon. Everything she was waiting so impatiently for.

Standing up, she walked over to her desk and shut her laptop with a click. She climbed back into bed, curling up in a ball underneath the covers, despite the heat.

Julie wondered about her plans, about how badly she wanted to get out of Dillon and go to college. She wondered whether she would get there and be disappointed.

She wondered whether sticking to your road map and never deviating from your path was really so smart, after all.

***

"I just cannot even believe this place," Billy said, popping two slices of bread into the toaster and looking around the great room in awe.

"I know," Tim agreed. He was seated across the counter, trying to convince a cranky Jordyn to take her bottle while Billy made them both breakfast. "I thought I walked into the wrong house."

"Seriously. I don't think it's looked this clean since... Ever."

Mindy wandered out of the master bedroom, yawning sleepily. "Not my fault I don't have time to take care of the baby, work,_ and _clean the bathroom," she griped, planting a kiss on Billy's cheek as she moved around him to get to the coffee.

"I know, baby doll," Billy replied, buttering Tim's toast and passing it to him. "So what's Julie's deal, anyway? Y'all used to date?"

Tim frowned, passing Jordyn off to Mindy so that he could eat. "No," he replied.

"Oh," Billy said, preparing his own toast. "I just wasn't sure how you knew her."

"I dunno," Tim said, "From around. Dillon's not that big, and she's the coach's daughter. Everybody sorta knows her. We kinda hung out when I was staying with them."

"Staying with who?" Mindy asked, burping Jordyn and trying to sneak a sip of coffee here and there.

"The Taylors," Tim replied.

"The Taylors? Why'd you live with the Taylors?"

Billy and Tim shared a look. "Just a little misunderstanding a couple years ago," Billy replied, glancing down. "Tim moved out for a while, but we got it sorted out."

"It was right after Tyra let me stay with you guys," Tim offered.

"The Taylors let you stay in their house, with their daughter? For real?"

"Your mom let me stay in your place with you and Tyra," Tim pointed out.

"Yeah," Mindy guffawed. "That was kinda different."

"Anyway," Tim said loudly, glaring resentfully at Mindy. "We're just friends."

"Good thing," Mindy said, rubbing Jordyn's back. "She's real helpful and everything, but she's always been kind of a snob."

"Kind of? Isn't she heading off to one of those fancy colleges, like Vanderbilt or whatever?"

"She's going to Rice next year," Tim replied, looking down at the crumbs on his plate.

"Well, there you go. Already had one of those blow through you, right little brother? You gotta meet yourself a nice girl from San Antonio State next year."

"Yeah, guess so."

"Come on, Tim," Billy said, smacking a hand on the counter. "Gotta get a move on. Garage won't open itself."

Billy and Mindy disappeared back into the master bedroom, leaving Tim sitting alone at the kitchen counter. He glanced around at the general disarray caused by the morning rush, blowing out a frustrated sigh. He'd been feeling fine this morning until Billy had brought up Julie and college.

He wished everything in life was like fixing cars and trucks: you figure out what's wrong, and then you fix it, and that's all there is to it. That's all there is to it.


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm sorry sweetie, I'm still not real clear on this whole situation. Why do they need you to babysit?"

Julie sat at the counter, listlessly poking at her granola while her mother stood in the kitchen, hands wrapped around a hot mug of coffee. Gracie was stretched out on the living room carpet, ignoring them both in favour of the TV. Tami allowed cartoons in the morning, but only if the volume stayed at a reasonable level. Try as they might, the Taylors were not morning people.

"I told you, Mom. Billy and Tim work all day, and Mindy's back working afternoons and evenings at The Landing Strip. There's no one to watch Jordyn between when Mindy goes to work and Tim gets home."

"And they asked you because...?" Tami prodded, glancing at her husband as he shuffled silently into the kitchen, still in pyjamas and his hair standing on end. "Morning, hon."

Julie rolled her eyes. It was pointless to engage her father in conversation in the morning until he'd had at least one cup of coffee and a shower.

"I don't know. I'm free when they need someone, and they know me well enough that they trust me with the baby, I guess."

"Well, that's a pretty big compliment," Tami observed, taking a sip of her coffee.

"What's a compliment?" Eric asked, appearing from behind Tami with his own cup of coffee in hand.

Julie barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes again. Sometimes having conversations with her parents made her feel like she was speaking a different language and they were trying (and failing) to translate.

"I'm babysitting Jordyn Riggins some afternoons when Mindy has to work," Julie repeated, exasperated.

"Huh," her father replied. "How's Riggins doing? He have a good year at San Antonio? Didn't hear much about him, far as football goes."

Julie was surprised at the lack of protest, but decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. "He's fine, I guess. I don't know. He said he didn't get to play at all because their fullback was a senior or something."

"Well, you tell him to stop by and say hello sometime," he said. "In fact, why don't you invite them over for dinner one night?"

"Seriously?" Julie asked, glancing at her mother.

"Honey," Tami began, frowning at her husband.

"Sure, why not? It'd be nice. Catch up with Tim, see how Billy's doin', Gracie can play with little Jenny or whatever her name is."

"Her name is Jordyn," Julie replied, nonplussed.

"Sure, Jordyn. We'll have a barbecue. It'll be fun."

With that, Eric wandered out of the kitchen and into the living room to play with Gracie. Julie eyed her mother, trying not to smile at the bemused look on Tami's face.

"Great," Tami said on a sigh. "Just what I need – planning a dinner party for the Riggins clan while trying to wrap things up for the year at school. You mind figuring out a day that'll work for everyone?"

"No, it's fine. Mindy has some evenings off, so there should be a night they can come."

"Okay, well, let me know and I'll go buy a couple racks of ribs or something," Tami said, sighing again. "Jules, are you still gonna have enough time to study for exams, between classes and work?"

"I will," Julie reassured her. "Actually, it's kind of perfect – I'm planning on studying basically the whole time I'm there, and at least this way I can't get distracted by the internet or TV or Gracie wanting to play or any of that. It's pretty quiet over there with just me and the baby."

Tami nodded, considering this. "All right, then. You're the best judge of that. Just as long as your schoolwork doesn't suffer, I don't mind it."

Julie smiled, relieved by her mother's lack of interference. "It won't, I promise."

"Okay, sweetie."

"Hey hon?" Eric called from the living room. "Think you could make that ice cream thing, with the coconut on it, when the Rigginses come over?"

Tami closed her eyes and pursed her lips, gripping the edge of the counter. "Lord, grant me patience."

"What?" asked Eric, looking back over at his wife and daughter. "What'd I say?"

Julie smiled, and turned her attention back to her granola. Her mother was going to have to deal with that one on her own.

***

Tim frowned at the computer screen in front of him. Billy had saved up enough cash to get a computer to keep track of their accounting a couple of months ago. So far, Tim wasn't impressed. He was supposed to be printing updated statements of accounts that were outstanding, but he couldn't make any sense of it. He chewed contemplatively on the pencil in his mouth. How hard was it to just keep a notepad around somewhere saying that Joe Blow owed them $250 for that new muffler?

The bell over the door rang as a middle-aged man entered the office. He looked around the small, dim room somewhat sceptically.

"Afternoon," Tim said, standing up straight and putting the mangled pencil behind one ear. He cleared his throat. "Welcome to Riggins' Rigs. Can I, uh, help you?"

"I sure as hell hope so," the man said. "My Blazer's out front. Can you take a look at it?"

"No prob," Tim said, eagerly abandoning the computer and following the man outside. A red, late '90s Blazer was parked out in front of the garage, its hood popped and steam billowing out of its engine.

"It keeps overheating," the man said as they walked over to the SUV. "I've tried adding coolant and I've got a bottle of water in the car with me at all times, but I'm having to pull over and let it cool off just about every damn time I drive the thing. What the hell's wrong with it?"

Tim leaned against the hot grill of the Blazer. Peering around the alternator, he took a cursory look at the water pump. Frowning, he crouched down and looked under the truck. In the brief time the truck had been parked there, a small puddle of syrupy green engine coolant had already formed beneath it.

"You got a stain under where you park her at home?" Tim asked, standing up.

"Yeah," the man replied, somewhat sheepishly.

"Looks like you've got a coolant leak," Tim said.

"Okay," nodded the man. "What's that mean?"

"Probably a worn out seal, but it could be a few different things. I'll have to get a closer look at the water pump to see. Mind leaving her with me for a bit?"

"No problem," he replied.

"There's a diner just down the block that way," Tim said, pointing. "We don't have much of a waiting room yet."

"Okay," the man sighed. "How much is this gonna cost me?"

"Shouldn't be too much if it's just a seal or a hose."

"And if not?"

Tim scratched his head, eyeballing the SUV. "Worst case scenario, there's something wrong with your head gaskets and they need to be replaced. That'll set you back a good $1,200."

"Damn it," the man swore.

"Hoses and water pump seals wear out all the time, and they don't cost much to replace," Tim said, trying to reassure him. "That's probably all it is."

"All right," the man said, throwing up his hands. "Take a look at her, not much else I can do."

"Don't worry," Tim said. "She's in good hands."

"I know," the man replied, crossing his arms over his chest and regarding Tim. "How's San Antonio State? Think you got a shot at the NFL?"

Tim stared at the man, not realising that he had recognized him. Did he think he had a shot at the NFL? He hadn't thought seriously about the NFL for himself since he was 15 and it was decided that Jay was going to be better than Peyton Manning and Joe Montana combined, and that they were going to go all the way. Together. Tim had no real aspirations of his own; he just liked to play football. Did other people really think he was going to try to make the NFL?

"No, sir," Tim heard himself saying. "Don't really think so."

"Oh," the man replied, blinking. He turned away. "Well, I'll be down the road. Let me know when I need to get out my wallet."

The man turned and walked off down the dusty road. Tim watched him for a moment before turning back to the overheated SUV.

"Billy!" he shouted, "Come help me push this thing into the garage!"

***

"Anyway, I guess we kinda thought we could keep the whole long distance thing going, but it was pretty naive. Chicago's too far away, especially now that he doesn't really have anything tying him here except me."

Julie rested her chin on her knees, watching as Jordyn rolled herself around awkwardly on the blanket Julie had spread out on the grass of the front lawn.

"Telling a five-month-old baby about my problems," Julie said, grimacing. "I think this might actually be an all-time low."

Watching her sitter unsympathetically, Jordyn merely burbled in response.

Julie stretched out, reaching over and grabbing the iced tea she had brought outside with her and taking a sip. It was a relatively mild day for June in Texas, so Julie had decided that they should try to get some fresh air before it started to become unbearably hot.

"I should take you to the pool one day," Julie said, blowing her bangs out of her eyes. "Unless the Swede still works there. Ugh. That's a story for another day."

Julie rolled over onto her stomach, opening up the novel she'd brought with her, having decided to give herself a brief reprieve from studying. Jordyn amused herself mainly by shuffling around the blanket on her stomach, stopping occasionally to roll herself over and try to shove a hand or a foot in her mouth.

Eventually, though, Jordyn began to fuss, so Julie abandoned her book and carried Jordyn inside, where she changed her and put her down for her nap. Stopping in the kitchen to get another glass of iced tea, Julie was surprised to see from the clock on the microwave that it was getting late – Tim would be home soon.

She went back out the front door to grab her stuff, but stopped short in the doorway at the sight of Tim standing in the middle of his front lawn reading her book.

"_The 158-Pound Marriage_," he read aloud, without looking up at her. "What's this about?"

"It's about swingers, more or less," Julie replied, shutting the door behind her and coming to stand in front of him.

Tim frowned, flipping through the book. He stopped at a random page and read for a moment. He guffawed suddenly, looking up at Julie in surprise.

"There's sex in this," he said.

"Oh my god," Julie groaned, rolling her eyes dramatically to distract from the embarrassed flush she could feel spreading across her face and chest. "What are you, twelve?"

"No," Tim replied, passing the book into her outstretched hand, "I guess I just never expected you to be reading dirty books."

"It's not a _dirty_ book. It's just about sex and relationships... and stuff," she said, looking away down the street and hoping she seemed too nonchalant and sophisticated for this incredibly juvenile discussion.

"Okay," Tim said, leering at her in a teasing way that reminded her of the days he spent occupying their couch. He grinned unapologetically. "Sorry."

"I'm sure," she replied, tossing her hair over her shoulder and brushing past him to gather up the blanket.

Tim had turned away to go into the house when Julie remembered her conversation with her parents that morning.

"Hey," she said, following him. "My parents asked me to invite you all over for dinner one night this week."

Tim dropped his keys on the kitchen counter and turned around to look at her.

"For real?" he asked, raising his eyebrows in obvious surprise.

Julie suddenly felt bad that her reaction to her dad's invitation had been the same as Tim's. What was weird about inviting another family over for dinner, even if that family was the Rigginses?

"Yeah," she said, shrugging like it was no big deal, "my dad really wants to see how you're doing, so my parents thought it would be nice to just have everybody over for a barbecue or something."

Tim stared at her for a moment, a strange little half smile on his face. Julie stared back at him, barely resisting the mad urge to giggle at the fact that Tim had a mancrush on her dad. After a pause, Tim looked away and cleared his throat, his face flushed.

"Mindy doesn't work on Thursday."

"Thursday should be fine," Julie replied, mentally reviewing what she knew of her parents' busy schedules.

"Should we, uh..." he squinted like he was an actor in a play and he was trying to remember his next line. "Can we bring anything?"

"I'm sure my mom's got it covered," Julie said. "Tell Mindy not to sweat it."

"Right on," Tim said, smiling at her. He looked quite pleased about being invited to a lame barbecue with her parents. Then again, she'd been almost as pleased at the prospect of babysitting just to have a reason to get out of the house, so she was in no position to mock.

"Jordyn's down for her nap," Julie said, grabbing her own car keys and her bag. "I've gotta run – can't keep the fine patrons of Applebee's waiting."

"See you Thursday," Tim said, walking her to the door.

"Thursday!" she repeated, leaving him in the open doorway and dashing down the slope of the lawn to her car.

Julie was halfway through the dinner rush before she realised that she had left her "dirty book" on Tim's kitchen counter.

***

"You think this is gonna be enough?" Tami asked, as she stood transferring several marinated chicken breasts onto a plate for Eric to grill.

"Yeah, that should be good," Julie replied, glancing up from the vegetables she was chopping for the salad. "Anyway, you only need five – Gracie always just has some of yours, and I'm not having any."

"You're not?"

"No, mom, I _told _you – I'm a vegetarian."

"Since when? I thought it was just pork and beef. Why aren't you eating chicken, now?"

"Since I watched this revolting video online of the inside of a chicken processing plant. Were you aware that they cut off their –"

"Julie, _please_."

"Okay, okay. But I reserve the right to abstain from eating dead animal."

"Jules, honey, why do you have to be so melodramatic about everything?" Tami cried, exasperated. "You don't want to eat the chicken? Don't eat the chicken!"

"You asked!"

"Yeah, well... What about fish? Can your dad grill you up some fish?"

"The fishing industry is destroying the environment," Julie began, but was prevented from launching into an indignant tirade by the sound of the doorbell.

"Go answer the door, please," Tami said tiredly, picking up the plate of chicken and carrying it out to the patio, where Eric was keeping an eye on the baked potatoes and vegetable skewers already on the grill.

Julie stopped fussing with the salad and went to the door, opening it to the Riggins clan, who stood waiting on the front step. Tim and Billy had both put on what Julie guessed were their nice shirts, and Mindy and Jordyn were both wearing summery sun dresses.

"Hey," Julie greeted them, opening the door wide. "Come on in. Everyone's out back."

They trooped in, Mindy carrying Jordyn, and Tim bringing up the rear. He stopped in front of Julie, a case of beer hanging from two fingers.

"This isn't for me," he said, "but this is Coach's brand, right?"

Julie glanced down at the box as she closed the door.

"Yeah, he likes that one," she said. She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Are you giving up drinking or something?"

Tim laughed. "No, but I don't think your parents are too wild about me drinking."

"No, they're not," Julie agreed. She walked past him into the house, gesturing for him to follow her. "Iced tea? That's what I'm having."

"Iced tea's good," Tim replied, trailing her into the kitchen.

Julie poured Tim a glass and handed it to him before returning to the salad she had been preparing. Everyone had made their way out to the patio except for Gracie, who was sitting in her booster seat on the other side of the breakfast bar, raptly watching Julie chop tomatoes.

After a moment, Julie looked up from the cutting board to find Tim still standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen, absently looking at the pictures on the fridge door. The case of beer was still hanging from one hand.

"You can put that in the fridge if you want," Julie said, pointing with her knife as though it wasn't obvious which appliance the refrigerator was. "There's room in there."

"Okay," Tim mumbled, the bottles of beer clanking against one another in the box as he found a spot for them in the fridge.

Closing the door, he leaned against the counter, joining Gracie in watching Julie chop tomatoes.

"I'm not used to having this big of an audience," Julie said, not looking up as she moved on to a cucumber. The watchful silence of Tim and Gracie was making her anxious.

"Chopping vegetables just right takes skill," Tim replied. "Right, Gracie?"

Julie glanced up to see her little sister eyeing Tim dubiously as he looked to her for confirmation.

"Tough crowd," Tim griped.

"She's kinda hard-boiled," Julie said, smiling at Gracie in the hopes of lightening her up. "You're going to have to work pretty hard to woo her."

"Guess I've got myself a summer project, then, huh Gracie Belle?" he said, leaning closer to the little girl and raising his eyebrows at her.

Gracie was saved from having to respond by Tami, who came in from the backyard, empty plate in hand.

"Hey there, Tim," she said, breezing into the kitchen and leaving the dirty plate and tongs in the sink. "Julie get you something to drink?"

"Yes ma'am," he replied, holding up his iced tea.

"Great," she said. "Salad almost ready, Jules? The chicken's not gonna take too long. Not that you're having any."

Julie rolled her eyes at her mother, choosing not to respond. Tim glanced between the two women, confused.

"I'm a vegetarian," Julie explained. Tim nodded, but didn't say anything else.

"When you feel like it," Tami muttered, taking the salad from Julie and whisking it out to the picnic table. Julie glared at her retreating back before looking up at Tim.

"Come on," Julie grumbled, scooping Gracie up and placing her on the floor before grabbing the booster seat and heading outside.

Everyone was seated at the picnic table and Julie was just getting Gracie settled in her seat when she remembered she left her iced tea in the kitchen. She turned around and nearly smacked into Tim's chest; he was standing right behind her, a glass of iced tea in each hand.

"Sorry," she blurted, taking the offered drink. "Thanks."

Tim shrugged and walked around the table, sitting in the spot across from Julie and Gracie.

Once the chicken and vegetables had been passed around and everyone had a plate of food and a full beverage, it took all of thirty seconds for the conversation to turn to football.

"So Tim," her father said, struggling with a forkful of salad, "how's San Antonio State?"

Sliding grilled vegetables off a bamboo skewer onto her plate, Julie glanced up to see Tim's reaction. He was frowning down at his plate.

"Pretty good, sir," he replied, glancing up at his former coach.

"I hear from Julie you didn't get a whole lot of field time."

Tim looked up at Julie with a curious look on his face, like he didn't believe that she and her father talked about him. Julie looked away, concentrating once more on the vegetables on her plate.

"No, sir," Tim replied. "The first-string guy had a good season."

"That happens," Eric said. "But you keep at it, keep working, and you'll see some play next year. I know it. That school's lucky to have you."

"Thank you, sir," Tim mumbled.

"You been seeing the news about Smash? He's making a real name for himself down there at A&M."

"I did," Tim replied, smiling wryly. "Nothing Williams does better than get attention."

Eric laughed, taking a sip of his beer. "That's for sure," he said. "You talk to Jason still?"

"Sure do."

"How's he doing? How's the big city?"

"Good, I think. He and Erin found a place near her parents."

"That's good to hear," Tami said. "Still think he should have gone to college."

"He was always gonna, but after the accident..." Tim trailed off with a shrug.

"Jason Street is one kid I never worried about," Eric said. "He'll figure things out."

"It must be so cool to work in New York and live close to so many restaurants and museums and galleries and everything," Julie said, looking across the table at Tim. "Has he seen a lot of interesting stuff?"

"I dunno," Tim shrugged. "I think he's pretty busy with Erin and the baby and everything."

"Oh yeah," Julie said, embarrassed. "Of course."

"Jules has always wanted to go to New York. Or San Francisco. Or Seattle. Or Boston. Or any big city that's not in Texas, really," Tami said, smiling.

"Billy and I were gonna go to Orlando for our honeymoon, but it didn't work out," Mindy said, spearing some vegetables and smiling brightly at her husband. "_Someone _had to get a new tow truck for the shop."

"It wasn't new," Billy protested. "It's used, and it was a solid investment."

"Well, whatever, it meant we had to spend our honeymoon in Midland."

"_Babe_," Billy warned, glaring at her.

"What?" Mindy snapped back.

"Eric and I were real lucky," Tami said, with forced cheerfulness. "We drove down to Galveston for our honeymoon. We thought we'd be staying right there on the water, but we ended up in this little pink motel by the highway with no running water. Remember, honey?"

"Sure, I remember. We got a flat tire on the way home, too, just outside Abilene. Good thing your mom's so good looking," he said, winking at Julie, "or else we never would have gotten a ride from that hog farmer who stopped to help us."

Julie looked across the table at Tim, who was looking at her parents with an expression on his face Julie could only describe as fond. She loved her parents and appreciated them more now than she had when she was a bit younger, but she still tended to think of them as weird and embarrassing and overprotective. But to someone like Tim, Julie realised, they must look like Mike and Carol Brady.

The rest of the meal passed in relative silence, especially once Mindy left the table to prepare Jordyn's bottle, preventing her from continuing to find excuses to harangue Billy about their non-honeymoon. Tim excused himself from the table, having finished his meal, and Tami gestured at Julie to help her clear the dishes.

"Jules, you wanna grab Tim and tell him I've got some game tape I wanna get his opinion on?" her father asked, glancing up only briefly from his conversation with Billy at the far end of the table.

"Sure," Julie grumbled, turning and heading into the house with an armful of dishes. She scraped them off and put them in the dishwasher. Rinsing her hands off, she wondered if maybe Tim had gone to the bathroom. She left the kitchen and walked down the hallway.

"Tim?" Julie called softly, frowning at the open bathroom door. Where was he?

Passing her bedroom, she caught a glimpse of a figure. She pushed the door open to find Tim standing in her room, examining her bookshelves.

"Uh, can I help you with something?" she asked, half amused and half offended.

"Hey," he said over his shoulder. Casually, like it was completely normal for him to be standing there in her bedroom with his hands in his pockets, perusing her book collection.

"This you?" he asked, picking up a framed picture of Julie and her best friend from elementary school at a summer camp, when they were about 8-years-old.

"Yeah," she said, blushing. She walked over and took the picture from his hands, returning it to its spot on her bookshelf. "I had no idea you were this nosy."

"Didn't get a chance to have a good look around the last time I was in here," Tim replied. It was the kind of comment that ought to have been accompanied by a leer, but Tim seemed oddly matter-of-fact.

"Right, that," Julie said, wondering how much embarrassment she would have to endure tonight.

"Are you embarrassed 'cause you tried to kiss me or something?" he asked, as though he could hear her thoughts. He was smiling at her like he found her very amusing.

Julie gaped at him. "That's... Wow. I'm so glad you brought that up, because that was super humiliating. So, thanks."

"Sorry," he said, still smiling at her. "It's just, you make this face when you're pissed off. It's kinda funny."

Julie raised an irritated eyebrow at him.

"That's the one," he said, before turning back to look at her bookshelf. "I really just wanted to see if you had any more dirty books, to be honest."

"Don't you know that dirty books go under the bed?" Julie asked, turning away to lean back against her desk, crossing her arms tensely over her chest.

Tim laughed. "Sorry," he said, reaching around and producing the worn paperback from his back pocket. "I was actually just gonna give you this, but I got distracted."

"Thanks," Julie said, taking the book from him. "You didn't have to do that. I was just going to pick it up next time I'm over."

Tim shrugged, then glanced at her bookshelf again. "You really like to read, huh?"

"Yeah," Julie replied, feeling self-conscious.

"Tyra liked to read. Just never the stuff they assigned in class, you know? Not that she'd ever want anyone to know. She had stacks of books in her closet."

Julie nodded, deciding not to press for more of Tim's anecdotes about the contents of Tyra's closet.

"Kinda lame, sitting around talking about stuff everyone else is doing," Tim observed, apropos of nothing. It took Julie a moment to realise that he was referring to their conversation over dinner.

"Yeah, kinda. I mean... I don't know. I'm happy for everybody, I'm just sick of hearing about how great everyone's lives are."

"I think I'm supposed to be more excited," Tim said softly, frowning as he ran his thumb along the dusty edge of her bookshelf.

"Excited? About what?"

"I dunno," he said. "College, I guess. Life."

"Maybe you just haven't found something to get excited about yet," Julie offered.

"Maybe. I dunno. I used to feel that way with football, I think, but..." he trailed off, glancing over at her, suddenly awkward and self-conscious. "Sorry. Dunno what I'm talking about."

Julie shrugged again, unsure what to say. "My dad has some game tape he wants to show you."

"Okay," Tim said, stepping around her and leaving the room.

Julie sighed and tossed her book onto her bed. She had the feeling that Tim might be really easy to talk to if he wasn't so difficult to talk to.

She left her bedroom and went back outside, settling herself on a lawn chair next to where Gracie and Jordyn were playing in the grass and getting to know one another. Or rather, Gracie was ripping up fistfuls of grass and dumping them on the hapless baby's face, and Jordyn was pretending to enjoy it.

It was getting dark out, but her mom had lit the lanterns around the patio, bathing the yard in warm light. Julie tucked her feet under her and watched the girls, wondering if she should be worried that lately, she preferred their company to most other people's.

The scrape of another lawn chair's legs across the grass caused her to look up, and she was surprised to find Tim pulling up to have a seat beside her.

"Hey," he said, lounging back in the chair as though he'd done it thousands of times.

"Aren't you supposed to be watching game tape?" Julie asked, frowning at him.

"Your mom and Mindy are swapping childbirth stories, and Coach and Billy got to talking Panthers and Lions."

"So you thought you'd come join us girls at the kids' table?"

"Something like that."

There was silence for a moment, and Julie glanced over at Tim. He was leaning back, looking up at the stars as they began to emerge in the darkening sky.

"One thing about New York and all those other big cities," he said, so quietly Julie thought he might be talking more to himself than to her, "you can't see stars like that."

Julie craned her neck to look up, admiring the faint lights glowing ever brighter in the eastern sky, the western sky burning a warm, peachy orange and gilding the trees in light as it sank beyond the horizon.

She didn't say anything, not wanting to disturb the tremulous peace which had unexpectedly settled between them. Instead, she did her best to silently communicate that yes, she absolutely agreed that big cities did not have this, and yes, it was beautiful.


	5. Chapter 5

Julie smirked as her father searched the shrubs for their missing ping pong ball, cursing softly under his breath.

After the Rigginses left, Tami threw her hands up at the mess in the kitchen and decided to leave it for tomorrow, heading to bed with a weary sigh and a mug of ginger peach tea. After Gracie was put to bed, Julie and her father relaxed on the couch for a bit, Eric channel-surfing and Julie letting her mind wander. She was thinking of going to bed when her father spoke.

"Come on," he said, heading towards the garage. Julie watched him go, smiling, then peeled herself off the couch and followed him.

That was fifteen minutes ago, and since then, Julie had sent the ball sailing out of the garage and into the front yard at least a dozen times. He returned from his search yet again, annoyed, his hair standing on end. Without a word, he served the ball to her.

They passed the ball back and forth a few times, the silence broken only by the popping thwack of their rackets and the crickets rasping in the yard.

"Are you interested in Tim Riggins?" he asked, without preamble.

"Hmm," Julie said, feigning a contemplative tone, "am I interested in Tim Riggins? Well, he is _very_ interesting."

"Very funny," he grumbled, backhanding the ball to her. "I'm serious."

"I don't think he's really my type, Dad," Julie said, taking pity on him.

"Isn't he every girl's type?"

Julie laughed. "I guess. I just can't really... I don't know, I don't think we have anything in common."

"You're old enough to know that you don't have to have anything in common with a guy like Tim Riggins to get yourself in trouble."

"Gross, Dad," Julie grimaced. "Anyway, I thought you liked Tim. You invited him over."

"I do like Tim. He's a good kid, good player. He just makes dumb decisions."

"Yeah, and? What does that have to do with me?"

"Don't get all huffy, I'm just trying to figure out what's going on."

"Nothing's going on," Julie insisted, somewhat aggravated. "I go over there, Mindy goes to work, I watch Jordyn and study, Tim comes home, we talk for five minutes, I leave and come home, or I go to work. That's what's going on."

"All right, all right."

"Anyway, he and Lyla are still together, as far as I know."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's long distance, but I think they're still together. Not that they ever talk about each other."

"You still talk to Lyla Garrity?"

"Yeah, we email."

"That's good. She's a nice girl. She's got herself sorted out."

Julie narrowed her eyes at her father, smiling. "What are you getting at, exactly?"

Eric paused, holding the ball and his paddle in front of him. "Your mother and I are worried about you."

"Oh god."

"Don't roll your eyes at me. We're just concerned about how isolated you are."

"Gee, Dad. Nothing makes a girl feel better about having no friends than finding out that her parents are secretly worried that she's going to become the next Unabomber or something."

"Nobody said anything—Unabomber? What the...? Jules, we're just worried about you."

"I get that. But it's almost over, anyway. School's practically done, and then there's just a couple months until I go to Rice. I'll make new friends there."

Eric regarded her carefully for a moment, then nodded and looked away, tossing the ball in the air and catching it again. "Up for another round?"

Julie smiled. "Sure, dad."

They played for a few more minutes in silence until Julie felt compelled to ask something she had been wondering for the past few days.

"Why did you invite the Rigginses over for dinner, anyway? I think mom thought you were losing your mind. Or purposely trying to drive her crazy."

"I just wanted to check up on Riggins. I know Billy's always done his best, but he's got his own family to look after, now," he said. "Tim's on his own and I wanted to make sure he's sticking to the straight and narrow."

Julie nodded, tapping the ball gently to her father, trying to get a decent volley going. "You know he hates college, right?"

"You think so?"

"Yeah, it's kind of obvious by the way he avoids the subject completely."

"He sure does. He'll be all right, though. Kid still knows his football."

Off Julie's look, he raised an eyebrow at her. "What are you smirking at?"

"Nothing, it's just cute that you still care about him when he's not even on your team anymore," she said, shrugging innocently. "Also because he has an enormous crush on you."

"A crush on me?"

"Yeah, he has some kind of daddy issues mancrush thing for you. You should have seen his face when I told him you wanted him to come over."

Her father stared at her, blinking.

"Oh, calm down. He just looks up to you, like everyone else. Really, you should invite _him _over to play ping pong with you."

"_Mancrush_," Eric scolded in disgust, shooting her a look that was an amusing mixture of consternation and embarrassment as he served the ball across the table to her. "Maybe I_ should_ invite him over. He's a way better ping pong player than you."

"Uh-huh," Julie laughed, hitting the ball back and over her father's shoulder. It sailed through the air and bounced off the windshield of the SUV. "Let's see how far trash talking gets you."

***

For two nights in June, the small but dedicated East Dillon Lions Booster Club held a fair to raise funds for some minor summer renovations to the team's facilities.

Tim didn't much feel like going, and neither did Billy, but Mindy complained that it was Jordyn's first fair, so they all absolutely _had_ to go. Tim wasn't sure what a five-month-old baby was supposed to get out of a fair, but he and Billy finally agreed to go. On the first night, they all piled into Tim's truck and drove out to the fairgrounds on the western edge of town. As soon as they were in the gates, Billy eagerly dragged them all to the midway, where he began wasting his tickets on as many crooked games as possible, loudly promising Mindy one of the huge plush fish hanging above them.

Tim stood to the side, idly scanning the crowd. A lot of people had come, including some from West Dillon. You could pick them out by the way they looked furtively over their shoulders, waiting for Joe McCoy to jump out from behind the Tilt-a-Whirl and question their loyalty. Tim frowned and turned away.

His eyes drifted across the swelling crowds of people, seeing many faces he knew, until a familiar blond head caught his attention. Julie was standing by a food kiosk looking miserably bored as her parents and Gracie dealt with chatty townspeople several yards away.

Tim told Billy he'd be right back, but his brother just waved him off, concentrating on aiming his water gun right at a ceramic clown's gaping red mouth while Mindy and Little Jay looked on.

He walked slowly over to Julie, picking his way through the crowd. She didn't notice his approach, too busy scuffing the toe of one battered Converse in the dust. She was dressed in jeans and a too-big green army jacket, her hair pulled aside in two long, messy-on-purpose braids. Her posture was hunched, and she seemed about as excited to be there as he was.

"Hey Jules," he said after waiting a moment for her to notice him. Her head snapped up and she smiled, surprised.

"Hey! I didn't know you were coming."

"Billy and Mindy dragged me," he shrugged.

"Same here," Julie griped, sending a resentful scowl her parents' way. "One of my duties as the coach's daughter is to come to these things and smile winningly at everyone."

"Still?"

Julie nodded, grimacing.

"Gonna have something to eat, at least?" he asked, gesturing at the stand. "Funnel cake? Corndog?"

Julie wrinkled her nose. "No, I don't think so."

Tim looked down at her, frowning. "You one of those dancers who eats like a bird?"

"No, it's not that," she said, shooting him an annoyed look. "I'm not anorexic, if that's what you mean. It's just I try to eat organic, and there's the whole vegetarian thing."

"Right," Tim said, squinting up at the listing of carnival junk food. "Think you might be outta luck here."

"Tell me about it. Maybe a Sno Cone... I wonder what's in the syrup, though, you know? Genetically modified corn, probably."

"Maybe you shouldn't think so much about it and just have something that sounds good," Tim suggested. "Once won't kill you."

"I guess," Julie said, sounding uncertain.

"You need to learn to live a little, Jules," Tim said, suddenly determined to find something at the carnival that wouldn't cause Julie to turn up her nose. "You trust me?"

"Trust you?"

"Yeah."

"I-er, I guess so," she said, looking at him uncertainly. "Wait, what do you mean?"

"Hold on," he said, reaching into his back pocket and pulling his wallet out. Before Julie had a chance to protest, he strode over to the stand. When he returned with a mustard-covered corndog and a bag of hot, freshly popped popcorn, Julie's apprehensive frown quirked into an amused smile. He handed her the popcorn and she laughed.

"I guess it's pretty bad if you have to ask me if I trust you to buy me _popcorn_."

"Kinda."

"Well, thanks," she said, digging a hand in. "Maybe this should be my summer of living dangerously, saturated fats and all."

"This is just dinner, too – dessert comes later," Tim said, taking a messy bite of his corndog. "If you're sticking around, anyway."

Julie shrugged, glancing around disinterestedly. "Why not? Nothing better to do. Anyway, my dad has to be here pretty much all night, so I might as well stay and look supportive. Also, they're my ride."

"I can give you a lift later, if you want."

"Oh, no – that's not what I meant. I just meant, you know, I'm basically stuck here."

"No, I know."

"Okay," Julie said awkwardly, looking away as she snacked on her popcorn. Tim stood silently next to her, eating his corndog.

Nearby, one of the Panthers was talking hesitantly to one of the Lions. They stood a bit apart, watching the carnival and obviously making small talk. Tim had played with both of them his senior year, and he remembered they had been good friends, but it seemed the redistricting had set them at odds with one another.

"You'd almost think Dillon had its own Berlin Wall running down the middle of town," Julie said. Tim glanced at her and saw she was watching the two boys as well.

"If I'd still been in school, I woulda been zoned for East Dillon and playing for the Lions," he said.

"Yeah, I guess you would have," Julie replied. She scoffed. "I can just imagine the fit the boosters would have thrown if you'd gone to East Dillon. The whole thing's so stupid."

"I don't get what all the fuss is about," he replied. "I was a Panther and I get rivalries, but I dunno. Still just football."

"'Just football'?" Julie repeated, raising an eyebrow at him. "It's weird hearing anyone around here say that, never mind State Champion football superstar Tim Riggins. Isn't football your life?"

Tim shook his head, looking down at the ground. "I just like to play."

Julie didn't say anything, just nodded her head and kept eating her popcorn. Tim finished his corndog and pitched the wrapper at one of the numerous rusting garbage barrels.

"Wanna go check out the rides?"

"Sure," she shrugged, falling into step beside him as he walked away from the midway and towards the rides, which spun and flipped before them, their bright lights streaking colours against the dark sky.

They stopped near the ferris wheel, watching the lines for the rides lengthen, snaking between the ticket booths and other rides.

Julie leaned back, looking up at the slowly turning ferris wheel.

"Know what I like best about fairs?" she said, her voice almost too soft to be heard amongst the shouts and laughter. Tim stood close to hear her.

"What?"

"The lights. It's just some crappy, rusty carnival that gets hauled all over the place on the back of a semi, but when you set everything up and the lights come on, and it gets dark, it looks... I don't know. Magical, I guess. It makes me feel like a little kid again. I mean, check it out – if you just squint up at it, it looks like this crazy blur of lights and colour."

Tim looked at her, at the wistful look on her face. The lights from the ferris wheel reflected in her brown eyes, lighting them up. Tim turned and looked up at the wheel, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"My parents took us to the fair once," he said. "There was a while there when things were pretty okay. My dad was working, so he took us all out when the carnival came to town. Billy was probably too old for it, but he kinda went along with it and we played all the games. My dad won us all something. Mine was this little cap gun. I still have it somewhere... I dunno, it was nice."

Tim looked away, suddenly embarrassed at saying so much about something he never talked about, to someone he was only really casually acquainted with. Hazarding a glance at Julie, he found she was watching him, her expression thoughtful.

"I'm glad it was nice," she said softly, after a long pause.

Tim exhaled a breath he didn't realise he was holding. He wasn't sure what kind of negative reaction he'd been expecting, but Julie's quiet acknowledgment wasn't it.

"Popcorn?" she asked, holding the bag out to him. He nodded, sticking a hand in.

They stood there, silently watching the rides and finishing Julie's popcorn, until Tami came looking for Julie.

"Hey Tim," she said, coming up and nudging Julie's arm.

"Hey, Mrs. Taylor," he replied, nodding.

"Jules, honey, your father's gonna say a few words over at the bandstand and I was wondering if you could come help me with Gracie," she said, shooting Tim an apologetic smile.

"Sure," Julie said. She turned back to Tim. "Thanks for the popcorn, Tim. See you later."

"Later," Tim said. The two Taylor women left, leaving Tim alone by the rides. He stood watching the ferris wheel until the carnival began to wind down and he had to round up Billy, who was on the verge of a fight in the beer tent, and Mindy, who was chatting with the girls from The Landing Strip nearby.

He and Mindy half-carried Billy to the truck, and Tim tried not to feel anything about it when he saw the Taylors leaving too, Julie carrying Gracie, her father's arm over her shoulders.

***

The ride home from the fair was subdued, the only sound in the car the radio as it played softly. Julie sat next to Gracie, who fell fast asleep before they could even pull out of the dusty parking lot. Her dark head lolled against the car seat, the streetlights passing slowly over her face as they drove. Neither of her parents asked Julie why she had spent half the night hanging around with Tim Riggins, and she appreciated it, both because she hoped they were beyond that, and because she wouldn't have known what to say.

Julie went to her room as soon as they got home, tired and longing for the cool softness of her bed. She made the mistake, however, of checking her email, and found she had a message waiting for her.

_**From:** Lyla Garrity_

_**Sent: **Friday, June 18, 2010 6:47 PM_

_**To: **Julie Taylor_

_**Subject:** hey :)_

_Hi Julie,_

_How are you? I hadn't heard from you in a while and I've been so busy that I just haven't had a sec to write you an email, so I thought I'd take the opportunity of finally having a night with no plans to sit down and write you. What's new??_

_New York is incredible. It's a big change for a small town girl, even after spending the year in Nashville. I keep trying to be really sophisticated and cosmopolitan and not ask for directions, but I don't think I'm fooling anyone. Especially when I get lost. :) I've been to see a lot of the sights already, and a few times I've wished you were here because I think you would appreciate some of it more than I do, or you could help me appreciate it. I'm sorry to say that a lot of the art and architecture is lost on me. It's still beautiful, though._

_My internship is amazing. I won't go into too much detail but it's with a Christian non-profit organization, and they're doing some really important things in the world. It's exciting to feel like I'm part of something bigger than myself again, and to feel like I'm actually helping people._

_I was kind of lonely at first, especially since I share an apartment with three other girls and none of them ever seem to be around. They're more into partying than I am, so we haven't gotten close. Thankfully I've met some really cool, down-to-earth people through work. I've even been on a couple of dates! :)_

_What's new in Dillon? You must be counting down the days until you can get out of there. Don't worry – you're almost there!_

_Let me know if I can call you sometime so I can tell you more about work, and don't forget to send graduation pictures!_

_Talk to you soon,_

_Lyla_

Julie frowned at the screen of her laptop, worrying her bottom lip. Throughout the year, emails and calls from her already graduated friends had gotten her through a lot of the lonely times, and she had always looked forward to them. Reading Lyla's email, though, Julie was left with a strange, vaguely sick feeling.

She pulled her feet up onto her chair, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on her knees. It was stupid to feel weird about it. It was totally stupid. What was there to feel weird about? Lyla was having a great time in New York, as Julie knew she would, and she was staying in touch, which Julie had ihoped/i she would. Was it the time she was spending with Tim? Was she feeling guilty? No, that wasn't it – Lyla wouldn't care if she and Tim became friends.

Maybe that was the problem: Lyla didn't care. She hadn't mentioned Tim at all. Not that she had made Julie privy to every intimate detail of their relationship before; Lyla wasn't like that. But his name had still come up regularly in emails throughout the year.

No, Julie was feeling strange because she and Tim were becoming friends, and it was clear from the email that, whether Tim knew it or not, Lyla was moving on with her life.

Julie closed her laptop with a click and stood up to get ready for bed, sighing discontentedly.

She had planned to spend the summer waiting out the clock, not getting wrapped up in other people's romantic problems.

***

Tim slept in on Saturday morning, happy they didn't have to open the garage until a little later in the day. He wandered out of his bedroom eventually and came upon Billy and Mindy enjoying breakfast together at the table.

"Morning," he grunted. They ignored him, too caught up in whatever Billy was whispering to Mindy that was making her giggle. Tim stared, somewhat dismayed at the behaviour of his once-proud older brother.

He frowned, though, when Mindy laughed out loud and Billy grinned at her, his eyes loving. Tim knew that look. He'd felt it himself. He knew what it was like to look at someone and think, "You're where I want to be for the rest of my life."

"Mornin', little brother," Billy said, finally noticing him standing there. Tim looked away, embarrassed to be caught staring, but Billy didn't acknowledge it.

"Hey Tim," Mindy said, leaning away from Billy and settling back in her own seat. "We saved you some pancakes."

Tim took in the leftover pancakes, the two syrup-covered plates, the two half-empty coffee cups, the hands clasped just under the table. He hesitated.

"Thanks," he said finally, scratching his head, "but I think I'm gonna head over to the garage and get a head start on things."

Billy looked at him carefully for a moment before nodding. "Sure, bro. Suit yourself."

Tim nodded and went back into his bedroom, staying long enough to change into his work clothes and grab his keys and sunglasses. When he came out, Billy and Mindy were back to giggling and whispering to one another. They didn't seem to notice when Tim left, closing the door as Mindy let go another boisterous laugh.

It was the first time Tim had been in his own house and truly felt that he no longer belonged.

***

"Come on, Billy," Tim whined, "it's getting late."

"What's wrong with you? Why are you in such a big damn hurry?" Billy griped back, leaning awkwardly over the exposed engine of a rusty old High Sierra. "Move the light closer, I can barely see what the hell I'm doing."

"Because I'm supposed to be home before 6, and Julie's waiting," Tim replied, holding the light closer to the part of the engine Billy was working on.

"Yeah, well, she can file her nails or something. I need your help here right now."

"She's not filing her nails. She's watching your kid, even though she's got another job and school," Tim scolded, shifting his weight against the truck.

"Yeah, her life's real tough," Billy said, craning his neck to glare at Tim. "Are you hittin' that or something? Is that why you're so bitchy?"

Tim said nothing, unwilling to dignify that question with a response.

"Whatever," Billy said, turning back to look at the engine. "Just don't screw it up. This arrangement is working out pretty good."

Scowling, Tim still did not reply. The truth was, he iwas/i kind of interested in Taylor. It had taken him somewhat by surprise, as he'd never really felt that way about her back in high school, not even when he was staying with her family. But now that he was graduated and she wasn't with Seven, and Coach wasn't actually even his coach anymore, everything had changed. Ever since she'd started babysitting for them and turning up everywhere he went, she'd gone from being Julie Taylor, Coach and Principal Taylor's daughter, to being Julie Taylor, hot girl who spent a lot of time on his couch and occasionally left him some dinner in the oven. It was a bit confusing, but Tim had never been one to pay much attention to boundaries where attraction was concerned.

Still, though. Billy was right – it would be stupid to mess things up at this point. But that didn't mean they couldn't be friends.

"Can I go?" Tim asked, frustrated.

"Fine, get out of here. You're not much help standing there sulking, anyway."

Tim shoved the light at his brother and left in a hurry, stopping only to pick up a case of beer. When he arrived at home, he found Julie sitting at the kitchen counter, reading from a textbook and making notes.

"Hey," she greeted him. "You're kinda late."

"Sorry," Tim said, putting the case of beer down on the floor. "It was a busy day and things kinda got away from us."

"Oh, I didn't mean it like that," Julie said, looking up from her reading. "I just meant, you know... Long day and all."

"Yeah," he agreed. "How's Jordyn?"

"She had her dinner, and now she's just vegging out in her playpen," Julie replied, hopping down from her stool and beginning to pack up her books.

"Nice. Hey, wanna stick around for dinner?" Tim asked hopefully. He was feeling a bit lonesome, and he suspected that hanging out with Jordyn for the evening wasn't going to cut it.

"No can do," Julie replied, shrugging her messenger bag over one shoulder and grimacing in apology. "I've got exams this week. Gotta study."

"Sure," Tim said, nodding. He tried to think of something cavalier to say so he wouldn't feel like such a friendless loser, but the phone rang and interrupted him. He glanced at the call display, and recognized the long distance number as the one Lyla had emailed him last week. He grabbed the cordless.

"Hello?"

"Hey Tim. It's me," Lyla answered from the other end.

"Hey Lyla," he replied, looking over at Julie. She raised her eyebrows at him and gestured at the door. He shrugged and waved vaguely at her. Julie rolled her eyes and waved back before leaving the house, closing the front door behind her.

"What's new?" Lyla asked.

"Not a whole lot," he replied. "The garage is doing okay. Jordyn's getting big. It's hot."

"Yeah, my dad keeps asking me if I'm freezing to death up here, like New York doesn't get hot in the summer, too," Lyla said.

"Yeah," Tim replied. There was a pause.

"Tim?"

"Yeah?"

"I think we need to talk."

"We are talking," he replied.

Lyla sighed. "I know. I mean... We need to _talk_."

"Yeah," he said, running a hand through his hair.

"I think we should break up," Lyla said quietly. Resigned, like she had known this was coming for a while but had wanted to put it off as long as possible. Tim knew how she felt and truthfully he agreed that this wasn't working, but he didn't want to say it.

"I love you, Tim," she continued, "it's just... It's not enough. It's too hard. I don't know when I'll be back in Dillon. _If_ I'll be back in Dillon."

Tim didn't reply. He couldn't think of anything to say.

"I hate doing this over the phone," Lyla sighed, exasperated. "I wish I could see you."

"Me too," Tim replied.

"I'm sorry," Lyla said, and she sounded it.

"It's okay," Tim said, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Think we both knew this was gonna happen."

"Yeah," she replied, her voice just above a whisper. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"You too," Tim said. "Have fun in New York. See you around."

There was silence on the other end of the line, and Tim thought for a moment that Lyla had hung up. Then he heard a shaky sigh.

"I love you," she repeated, her voice cracking. "I love you, Tim."

Tim thought of how long he'd known Lyla, of what they'd been through, of everything they'd been to each other. That part of their lives was ending. It had started when Jason moved away.

The realisation that it – _Texas Forever_, the three of them, the old days, him and Lyla, all of it – was really over was like a punch in the chest.

"I love you, too," Tim replied, hearing the waver in his own voice. He cleared his throat. "I've gotta go, Lyla."

"Okay," Lyla sighed. "You're... Me, too. Goodbye, Tim."

He listened to the disconnecting click on the other end, followed by the dial tone. He stood motionless for a moment, the phone still held to his ear. Finally, he hit the "end" button and tossed it over to the couch.

Tim stood there in the middle of his living room. For a brief, crazy moment, he considered calling Julie back to hang out with him so he wouldn't have to be by himself, but he shook it off. Billy would be home later and they could talk. If he wasn't too busy with Mindy, of course.

Tim walked over to the playpen where Jordyn was stretched out on her back, entertaining herself with her own feet.

"Looks like it's just you and me, kiddo," he said. Jordyn stretched and grabbed her foot, trying to jam it in her mouth with a look of intense concentration on her face.

Tim sighed and walked over to the fridge, retrieving a cold beer. There was only one thing to do between now and when Billy got home, when he could take off and head to the bar: start pre-gaming.


	6. Chapter 6

Julie was bored out of her mind.

Her final exams had been written, her last assignments handed in, and her locker emptied. Julie was officially finished with high school, and there was only the formality of actually graduating to get through. For the most part she was glad, but it left her at loose ends while she was babysitting, with no studying to keep her busy. She played with Jordyn and did the dishes and cleaned up the living room to pass the time, but she still ended up sprawled on the couch watching too many episodes of _Intervention _and_ Judge Judy_.

By the end of the afternoon, she was eagerly looking forward to Tim's return home, if only to have someone to talk to.

Julie was putting Jordyn down for a nap when she heard the front door open and close. She skidded out of the bedroom, ready with a disparaging comment about Tim's greasy, sweaty state, but was surprised and disappointed to instead find Billy standing in the doorway.

"Oh," she said.

"Hey," he greeted her gruffly, tossing his keys down on the table by the door.

"Hey," Julie replied. "Where's Tim?"

"I made him stay late. He can close the place up for once. Jackass."

"Stay late? How come?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but he's come into work late and hungover every day this week and I've had it."

Julie bristled at Billy's rudeness. "Sorry," she sniffed, not remotely apologetic. "Jordyn's down for her nap, so I guess I'll just go."

"Sorry," Billy sighed, rubbing the heels of his hands in his eyes. "I'm just pissed off at Tim. It's not your fault."

They regarded each other warily for a moment before Julie nodded, accepting the apology.

"What's going on with him?" Julie asked.

"He and Lyla broke up, so he's being iTim/i about it."

"Ah," she nodded. She didn't know Tim extremely well, but she had an idea of what that meant.

"Yeah," Billy replied, huffing. He looked up at Julie, chewing his bottom lip contemplatively. "You're friends, right?"

Julie blinked. "Uh, with Lyla, or Tim?"

"Tim."

"Yeah, I mean, I guess so, sure."

"Think you could talk to him?"

"Talk to him?"

"Yeah, you know... He's mad at me right now about something, I don't know what; he won't really talk to me."

"Oh, well..." Julie waffled, not sure what to say. "I guess I can try. I mean... We're not super close or anything."

"I just think he could use a girl's perspective."

Julie nodded. She had absolutely no idea what Billy was talking about.

"Thanks," Billy said, seeming relieved. "He's not much of a talker, and sometimes I think it gets him in trouble."

"So I've heard," Julie said. They both fell silent, and after a long pause, Julie took a look at her watch. "Uh, I have to go to work."

"Sure," Billy said, getting out of Julie's way. "Hey, uh, have a good one. Hope you get lots of tips."

"Thanks." Julie gathered her things and left, unwilling to risk any more awkward moments. On the drive to Applebee's, she pondered what Billy had asked. How was it that she had ended up not only babysitting for the Rigginses, but counseling them through their relationship issues, too?

***

Tim stood back, golf club held aloft, watching the battered beer can as it arced up into the sky before disappearing beyond the edge of the cliffs.

There was something strangely soothing about narrowing his mind to the basic act of whacking beer cans with Billy's old 5-wood.

He liked it better than thinking about Lyla, or the phone call, or college, or about Billy and Mindy and Little Jay. Really, hitting things beat thinking about things, which was what Tim had always liked best about football.

Tim turned around, swinging the club over one shoulder as he walked back to his truck for another beer. He knew he ought to stop drinking if he wanted to spend the night at home in bed, rather than stretched out in the back of his truck, silently listening for thunderstorms and coyotes.

_One more won't hurt, _he told himself._ Just one more._

He leaned against the side of his truck, popping the tab on another beer. Taking a swig, he tried not to grimace; any coldness the beer had maintained since he picked the case up at the liquor store hours ago was now completely gone.

Standing there, lukewarm beer in hand, the wind blowing grit in his eyes, Tim suddenly felt stupid. He felt like the butt of the world's biggest joke, and everybody was in on it except him.

Everyone was itching to get the hell out of Dillon as fast as possible. Everyone but him. He'd really meant it when he said _Texas forever_ for all those years. He meant it like a promise, like a vow, like he'd never meant anything before in his life.

It seemed like he was the only person who looked around Dillon and thought it would do just fine, thank you very much, and wanted to hurry up and get down to the business of living his life.

Well, almost the only person. Tim figured Buddy Garrity would probably be on board with him, too.

Buddy Garrity. Lyla Garrity. Back around again to the same old things. The same old thoughts. The same old hurts. All the things that never seemed to work out, not even when Tim tried real hard not to mess it up.

Frowning, Tim tipped his head back and finished off his beer. He grabbed another from the case and walked back up to the grassy edge of the cliff. The sun was setting and the sky was a deep, soft blue, melting into purple and orange and gold on the horizon.

_One more won't hurt, _he told himself,_ lining up his next shot. Just one more._

***

The best part of being finished classes, as far as Julie was concerned, was sleeping late. In particular, she appreciated that when she worked until close at Applebee's, she wasn't expected to get up first thing in the morning the next day to drag herself to American History. Instead she luxuriated in getting up when she felt like it and enjoying the empty house, her parents at work and her sister at daycare. She couldn't luxuriate too long, however, because although classes were over, little Rigginses still needed babysitting.

Julie parked in her usual spot across the street from the Rigginses'. Tim's truck was parked rather haphazardly in the driveway. Julie frowned, wondering what was up; Tim should have been at work. Gathering her things, she walked up the lawn and knocked on the blue front door. No one answered.

"Tim?" she called softly, leaning to try to see through the window. "Mindy?"

Julie tried the doorknob and the door swung open, unlocked. It was dark inside the house, and it smelled somewhat stale. Julie wrinkled her nose and waited for her eyes to adjust to the dim light. When they did, she saw that Jordyn's playpen was in the living room, by the TV, and that Jordyn was down for her nap on its floor. Julie walked over to check on her, and found that she was indeed sound asleep, albeit a bit warm.

"Tim?" she called again, looking around the empty room. "Anyone?"

A sound from the other room caught her attention and, somewhat warily, she walked over to Tim's open bedroom door to investigate. Peering into the room, she found the source of the sound.

Tim was asleep, face down on his bed, wearing nothing but a pair of very worn Panther gym shorts, his tanned back exposed. He was snoring loudly enough to wake the dead.

Julie cleared her throat, starting to feel irritated.

"Tim," she said, trying to wake him. No response. "_Tim!_"

"Hunh," he grunted, burrowing his face deeper into the mess of pillows under his head.

"Oh my god," Julie said loudly, rolling her eyes. "Wake up! Are you supposed to be watching the baby, or am I? Because I don't really think passing out to marinate in your own beer-sweat counts as watching the baby."

Tim lifted his head, scowling at her without opening his eyes. His hair stood up in every direction, and the skin of his flushed face was creased by the pillows. He looked like a cat who had been disturbed from its afternoon nap.

"Ugh, whatever," Julie snapped, and turned to leave. She stomped back into the great room, quieting her tantrum only to avoid waking Jordyn. Crankily, she turned up the air conditioning and turned on a couple of fans, hoping to move the stifling afternoon air.

The place had reverted somewhat to its previous pig sty state, with pizza boxes and beer bottles littering the room. Sighing as though she'd just been told she had to trudge across the state of Texas barefoot in a drought while bearing the weight of the whole world on her shoulders, Julie began to clean up.

Forty minutes later, the house was once again reasonably clean, and Julie was on the couch reading, her feet propped up on the coffee table. She looked up from her book when she heard a sound, and saw Tim standing in the doorway of his bedroom, squinting at her. He was no more clothed or kempt than before.

Julie pursed her lips and ignored him, sparing a glance at Jordyn, who she was expecting to awaken any second.

Tim shuffled his way into the kitchen and opened the fridge, the telltale clink of glass indicating that he had retrieved a beer. He opened it and came slowly into the living room, silently taking a seat at the other end of the couch.

Julie continued to pretend that she was alone in the room, as Tim groaned and leaned back, taking a long swig of beer.

"You smell like the alley behind The Landing Strip," Julie said finally, unable to help herself.

There was a long pause before Tim replied. "How do you know what the alley behind The Landing Strip smells like?"

Julie turned to look at him. He was leaning back comfortably into the couch, watching her from under lowered eyelids. He had dark circles under his eyes, his skin was still flushed, and he was sweating.

"You look like crap," Julie said softly, injecting less scorn in her voice than she would have liked.

"Feel like crap," he replied, closing his eyes and taking another swig of beer.

"You think maybe you should try, I don't know, water, maybe? Cut back on the beer?" Julie could feel the heat rolling off him, even from over a foot away. Frowning, she reached without thinking and pressed the back of her hand to his forehead. He blinked, watching her placidly.

"You're burning up," Julie said, pulling her hand back. "Are you okay?"

Tim blinked at her a couple of times. He shook his head.

Julie sucked a breath in through her teeth, trying not to scold him. It made her sound too much like her mother.

"It's really stupid to do this to yourself," she said simply. She stood up and took the beer from him. He didn't protest, not moving as she walked into the kitchen and dumped the beer down the sink. Rummaging around in the fridge, she managed to find an unopened bottle of Gatorade. Further explorations in the cupboard produced a bottle of painkillers. She poured a large, cold tumbler of water, and carried everything back into the living room.

Tim took the pills, drinking the whole glass of water down steadily.

"Careful," Julie warned. "You don't want to make yourself barf."

Tim grimaced slightly at her, as though the very word nauseated him.

"Go have a shower," Julie said, leaning forward on the couch and reopening her book on her lap. "You'll feel better and this whole experience will be less unpleasant for me, which I would appreciate."

"I know how to deal with a hangover," he mumbled sullenly. Standing, he slowly made his way to the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Seconds later, Julie heard the water go on.

While Tim showered, Julie marveled at him. She couldn't help but compare him to Matt. Both boys had grown up largely without reliable parents, but where Matt had learned to take care of himself and everyone around him without complaint, almost to a fault, Tim seemed completely incapable of looking after anything or anyone.

Yet, even that wasn't quite fair. Julie had seen Tim with Jordyn and Gracie; he was good with them and looked after them fine when left in charge. When he was sober, anyway. He just seemed not to care much what happened to ihim/i.

The water shut off, and a minute or so later, Tim came out of the bathroom, shorts on and a towel wrapped around his shoulders like a cape. He padded back into the living room and stretched out on the couch, tucking his feet in behind Julie.

"You're pretty pathetic when you're sick, you know," she observed, turning a page in her book. "Drink the Gatorade and I'll consider making you something to eat later. Maybe."

"Thanks, doc," Tim replied, his voice scratchy.

Several minutes passed in silence, Julie reading and Tim taking periodic sips of his drink.

"So things are over with Lyla?" Julie asked.

"Yeah," Tim croaked. "Billy tell you?"

"Yes, he did."

"He's pretty pissed at me, I think."

"For missing work?"

"Yeah. For getting with Lyla in the first place, too, I think."

"What do you mean?"

"Always said she's too good for me."

Julie turned to look at him, frowning. "I bet he didn't mean it that way. He's probably just looking out for you."

Tim nodded silently, his head resting against the arm of the couch. Julie observed him for a moment.

"When Matt dumped me, I just cried and ate a lot. Does this work any better?"

"Not really."

"Didn't think so. My way sucks, too."

There was a long pause during which Julie considered the email she'd received from Lyla the week before, and whether or not she should tell Tim about it. The truth had always seemed like the nobler option to her, but right now, with the way he was acting, Julie couldn't see the point of torturing him by letting him know that Lyla had already moved on.

Julie tried to think of something helpful or wise to say to him, but she came up blank. She hadn't learned anything from her break-up with Matt. All she knew was that people were complicated and relationships were hard and that the heart was very easily bruised.

"Wanna come by my work later, if you're feeling better?" Julie asked, turning to look at him. "I'll bring you free dynamite shrimp and desserts."

Tim watched her silently for a moment before a smile quirked his mouth and he nodded.

"Maybe, Jules. When I'm feeling better."

***

Julie graduated from high school on a June afternoon when the temperature topped 110°F, and someone made the unfortunate decision to hold the ceremony on the football field. When the commencement exercises were cut short by a sudden thunderstorm as it came crashing through Dillon, Julie sincerely and without reservation hoped that her mother fired whoever it was who suggested an outdoor graduation ceremony in June. In Texas.

The Taylors were quiet in the SUV on the way home, the swish of the wipers on the windshield and the hum of the truck's engine the only sounds. Julie sat in the back, holding her damp diploma and mortarboard on her lap.

"Wain," Gracie observed from her car seat, looking over at her sister for confirmation. Julie didn't reply, too focused on keeping the disgruntled grimace off her face.

"So how about it, honey?" her mother asked from the front. "You want to go out for dinner, celebrate?"

Julie shifted in her seat, looking out the rain-streaked window at the angry, steel-grey sky. She didn't feel like celebrating at all. She had already asked her parents not to throw her a party or anything embarrassing like that, and thankfully they had complied. Besides, where were they supposed to go? Applebee's? Fran's? The Alamo Freeze?

_I really hate this town_, she thought.

"Not really," she replied, knowing she sounded like a sullen teenager. She caught the look her parents exchanged, but they didn't say anything.

Grace had a conveniently timed meltdown when they arrived at home, allowing Julie to disappear into her bedroom. She emerged for dinner a couple of hours later, but slunk back to her room again immediately afterward. She lay on her bed, staring up at her ceiling. She wore the batteries on her iPod right down listening to The Arcade Fire as the sun set, casting shadows across the room.

She should feel something. Julie was certain that there was something she should be feeling about graduating from high school, and she was missing out on it. She felt apathetic, mostly, aside from a vague sense of relief. What was wrong with her?

Julie sat up, staring at the bright blue mortarboard slung over her desk chair, its gold tassel dangling. Taking a deep breath, she stood up, grabbed her keys and her bag, and left her bedroom.

"I'm going out," she announced to her parents as she passed by the living room.

"Yeah?" her mother asked, getting up from the couch. "Where are you going?"

"Um, I heard there's a party at Jenny Perry's house, so I thought I'd go for a while," Julie said.

"Okay," Tami replied, eyes wide. She was obviously struggling to be nonchalant about her recluse daughter deciding to go to a party after staying in for months. Julie appreciated the effort.

"I'll be home by 12, don't worry," Julie said, sending a reassuring smile her mother's way before heading for the door.

"One is fine," Tami said behind her, following Julie down the hall. "It's a special night."

"Thanks," Julie replied, wondering pessimistically if she'd even make it that long. She had to at least try; going to bed early on the night of her own graduation was just pathetic.

Julie waved to her mother as she pulled out of the driveway, rolling her window down and turning the radio up. She drove across town to the address on the flyer she'd been given that afternoon while she and her classmates stood in the sweltering quad waiting for their names to be called. Parking down the block, she turned off the engine and watched as people made their way in and out of the raucous house party going on up the street. She listened to the laughter, shouts and music cutting through the peace of the hot June evening.

She sighed, imagining the scene she was in for. She'd wander around aimlessly for fifteen minutes, trying to look totally bored and above it all, then get a drink and find a spot along the wall. Watch everyone celebrate with their friends. Listen to them recollect the high school years she'd spent ignoring them all in favour of her own friends. Roll her eyes as they trashed the East Dillon Lions, kids who were their classmates only a year ago.

Julie put the car in gear and pulled out of the spot where she had parked. She felt smothered, like something had sucked all the air out of the car. Blinking away tears, she rolled the window down and let the breeze fill the car. She drove to the end of the street and quickly turned left, anxious to put space between her and the party. At the next stop sign, she glanced up to see what street she had ended up on. It was the corner of Locust Avenue and Castle Road.

With some surprise, she realised that she was only a few blocks away from Tim's house.

She flicked her blinker on and turned, headed in that direction. In less than three minutes, she was standing on his doorstep, knocking on the blue painted door. After a lengthy pause, she heard a thump and some shuffling inside the house, and Tim appeared at the door, wearing worn jeans and one of the apparent dozens of old Panthers t-shirts he owned, his feet bare.

"Hey," he said, frowning at her. "Shouldn't you be out celebrating?"

"I didn't have anyone to celebrate with," she said honestly, feeling awkward now that she was here. "I never really got close to anyone in my year except Lois and she's gone, so... Here I am."

Tim nodded, stepping back to let her into the house. Julie walked in, pleased to see that the place had stayed relatively tidy since the last time she'd cleaned up. Tim had been watching TV, ESPN blaring away and the coffee table obscured by an open pizza box and several empty beer bottles. Jordyn was propped up by cushions in the corner of the couch, unperturbed by the noisy TV.

"Quiet night in?" Julie asked, setting down her things in the chair by the door and making her way over to Jordyn to say hello. The baby's expression brightened and she reached two chubby hands up at the sight of her babysitter.

"Yeah," Tim replied from the kitchen. "Billy and Mindy needed a break, so they're out for dinner. Between work and the baby and me living here, they don't get a lot of alone time. Beer?"

"Sure," Julie said, settling Jordyn on her knee and turning her so that they were face to face. She bounced her gently, causing Jordyn to giggle. "Hey, baby girl! How's Jordyn today?"

"She's good," Tim said, appearing beside her with a beer in his outstretched hand. Julie took it, and he sat down next to her on the couch, watching her and Jordyn with interest. "Think she likes you better than me."

"I doubt it," Julie replied, leaning back comfortably into the couch while continuing to bounce Jordyn on her knee. "Don't you love your Uncle Timmy, Jordyn?" she teased.

"We were just about to watch _Terminator_," Tim said. "Wanna join us?"

"Sure, I've never seen it."

There was silence, and Julie turned to see Tim staring blankly at her.

"You've never seen _Terminator_?" he asked.

"No," Julie said, shrugging.

"Stay there," Tim said, standing up and putting a DVD into the player. "Just stay right there, Taylor. Don't move. Seriously. You're in for a treat."

"Okay," Julie said, trying not to laugh at his seriousness.

Tim turned the lights off and rejoined her on the couch. Julie glanced at him, wondering why he hadn't sat over in the empty chair. He was intent on the screen as the movie started up, though, so she looked away.

Around the time Sarah Connor was trying to hide from the Terminator at the nightclub, Tim reached over and absently picked Jordyn up off Julie's lap, settling her down in the crook of his far arm. Julie tensed when he put his near arm down again and it lay against hers on the couch. He didn't move or say anything. Julie glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, but he was looking away, focused on the movie. He cleared his throat and shifted, the rough hair of his forearm rubbing against her bare skin.

To her intense embarrassment, Julie shivered.

"You cold?" Tim asked softly, turning to look at her.

"Mmm-mmm," she mumbled, not looking at him, frowning as though she was concentrating very hard on the movie. He turned away.

Sarah and Kyle fled the Terminator, hiding out at a motel while their cyborg nemesis left a path of destruction in his wake. Julie realised that an awkward '80s love scene was imminent as the hero and heroine made out against a fridge. She could feel herself blushing, her ears and her cheeks burning and flames spreading out across her chest.

"You want another beer?" Tim asked, turning to look at her. He stopped, staring at her. After a beat, he smirked. Julie blushed even harder, and opened her mouth to say something, but Jordyn shifted in Tim's lap and began to fuss, suddenly letting out a sharp wail.

"I think someone's ready for a change!" Julie declared, standing up abruptly. "I'll take her!" Before Tim could protest, she grabbed the baby and made for the safety of the master bedroom.

"Thanks," she muttered to Jordyn a few minutes later as she fastened the new diaper and reached for a clean sleeper. "I was about to totally humiliate myself back there. Good timing."

Jordyn didn't reply, blinking sleepily up at Julie.

"Come on," Julie said, lifting the baby gently and settling her down to sleep in her crib. She stood and watched as Jordyn fell asleep, her eyes slowly closing and her breaths deepening.

Julie hadn't been really into babies until Gracie came along, and even then she was not interested in her little sister for quite some time. But now she had to admit that there was something oddly compelling about watching a baby fall gently to sleep.

A floorboard creaked and Julie looked up. Tim had come into the room and was standing a couple feet away.

"She down?" he asked, his voice very quiet.

"She's asleep," Julie whispered back.

She felt more than saw Tim nod in the darkness of the bedroom as he came close, the only light the dim glow of the _Finding Nemo_ nightlight plugged into the far wall.

Julie wasn't sure who kissed who, just that Tim took a step forward and then they were kissing each other, touching only where their mouths connected. It was tentative and awkward, and Julie didn't relax until she felt Tim's hand brush against the back of her head, gently pulling her closer. She slid her hands up to his chest, resting one against the faded blue 33 over his heart.

Tim sighed raggedly, his breath brushing her face. Julie shivered as he pulled her into his body, spreading his hands across her back and slanting his mouth against hers.

The feeling of another body against hers after months of missing Matt hit her heart with a sharp pang. She was violently jolted out of the moment and back into reality.

"I should go," Julie blurted, her voice loud, pulling away and turning on her heel before Tim could say anything. Jordyn wailed at the abrupt sound, but Julie didn't stop to comfort her.

She was out of the bedroom and the house almost before she knew it, pausing only to grab her bag by the door. She hurried across the lawn, ignoring the sound of Tim calling her name behind her.

Fumbling with her keys as she got in and started her car, she could feel him watching her from the open doorway. She didn't look up – couldn't – and peeled out of the driveway and down the street. She held her breath, trying hard not to think about what just happened.

As she pulled into her own driveway and forced her hands to stop shaking, she tried not to think about why she was so damn terrified.


	7. Chapter 7

Julie was stretched out on the covers of her bed, trying to concentrate on her novel and not the mess she'd made of what ought to have been a perfectly uneventful summer. Did it really have to be Tim Riggins? Hadn't she already figured out that kissing Tim Riggins only led to humiliation and hangovers and parental shaming?

Moreover, could she possibly have found a more embarrassing way of dealing with the situation than_ running away_? The thought of having to face him again made her stomach churn, and her imagination helpfully provided plenty of scenarios for her to consider. She wasn't sure which one was worse: the one where Tim laughed at her, chauvinist pig style, or the one where he acted like nothing had happened at all.

She was prevented from further recriminations by the sharp sound of two car horn blasts right outside the house. These were followed shortly by the front door opening and her mother's shouts.

"Jules! Jules, honey, come quick!"

Dropping her book, Julie was up and out of her bedroom in an instant, scared something was wrong. What she found instead as she came around the corner into the front hall was her mother hugging Tyra in the doorway.

"Tyra!" she shouted, running over. Beaming, her friend pulled away from Tami and enveloped Julie in a tight hug.

"What are you doing here?" Julie exclaimed, once they managed to let each other go.

"Decided to come for a visit," Tyra said, grinning. "My boss had to go to Dallas on business, so she said I could take Friday off. I left Austin at like six this morning."

"Do Mindy and your mom know? They're going to be so excited!"

"My mom knows, but I thought maybe you and I could go over there and surprise Mindy, see if we can't convince her to play hooky and come out with us tonight. Landry suggested Seven Senoritas."

"Landry, huh?" Julie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, Landry. Landry Clarke. He knows I'm in town and he's going to hang out with us a bit. Not the whole time, though. We'll need some girls-only time, obviously."

"Obviously."

"Mind if I steal her, Mrs. T?"

"No, you girls go right ahead! It's about time something got her out of the house besides school or work."

At this, Julie sent her mother a dirty look. Tami cleared her throat.

"I think Jules has to head over to the Rigginses' to babysit soon anyway, don't you, hon?"

"Ah yes," Tyra said, raising an eyebrow. "The babysitting gig."

"Don't start," Julie grumbled. "Let's go surprise Mindy before she wastes another pair of false eyelashes."

Tami and Tyra responded with eerily similar grimaces.

"Yeah, I'd really hate for her to get all dolled up for another unofficial Panther Booster Club event at The Landing Strip for nothing," Tyra said.

Julie grabbed her bag and they left in Tyra's old High Sierra, its rusted grill coated with dust and bugs from the highway. Tyra chattered the whole way about work and Austin while Julie listened, hard pressed to keep a grin off her face, she was so happy just to be in the company of her friend again. It felt like they were in high school again, on their way to the movies or to Tyra's place, or getting off a shift at Applebee's. Julie remembered the Friday they'd gotten paid and stopped at the tattoo parlour up on Murphy Street. Tyra had held Julie's hand, teasing her the whole time about "popping her tattoo cherry".

They arrived at the Rigginses', and Julie let them in with the spare key Tim had given her. They surprised Mindy in the middle of her beauty routine, her hair half up in hot rollers and half hanging around her shoulders. She screamed so loudly she woke Jordyn, who wailed miserably in the bedroom while Mindy jumped up and down, squeezing Tyra as hard as she could.

"Ty-ty!" she squealed. "What the hell are you doing here? You didn't get fired, did you? If you got fired, I swear to god, I will go down there and punch that bitch right in the fa-"

"Mindy!" Tyra interrupted, "I didn't get fired! My boss had to go to Dallas on business and there wasn't much for me to do without her in the office to order me around, so she gave me the day off. I drove up this morning."

"Yay!" Mindy exclaimed, clapping her hands and bouncing like a little girl who'd been offered a pony. "Oh my god, we're going to have so much fun!"

Smiling as the two sisters began planning a booze-filled weekend of partying, Julie went into the bedroom and picked Jordyn up, trying to console her. Not that Julie could begrudge the baby her sobs; she wasn't a huge fan of being awoken from a nap by hysterical screams, either.

"There's my girl!" Mindy said when Julie emerged from the bedroom with a sniffling Jordyn in her arms. Both sisters were seated on the couch. "Come see your Auntie Ty-ty!"

"Yeah, let me have a look at you," Tyra said, taking the baby from Julie. "Any tattoos yet, kiddo? Piercings?"

"Oh my god, don't you think she'd look totally adorable with pierced ears?" Mindy exclaimed.

"Mindy, maybe you should get her potty trained before you start punching holes in her," Tyra suggested, sending a withering glance in Julie's direction.

"Don't be stupid," Mindy replied. "Mom got our ears pierced when we were like two."

"If I remember correctly, Mom had iyour/i ears pierced when iyou/i were two, but mine were pierced when you decided that I was badly in need of a makeover."

"Whatever, Tyra," Mindy scoffed. "You looked fierce once the bleeding stopped."

"'You looked fierce once the bleeding stopped,'" Tyra repeated, her voice deadpan. "Just when I thought we'd never find the perfect Collette family motto."

"So," Julie interrupted briskly, hoping to avoid the imminent volley of sisterly jibes, "what's the plan?"

"Well, I'm sure as hell not going into work," Mindy said, tossing her damp hair over her shoulder. "I'll tell them I've got anthrax or something. Let's go pick up mom and go out for lunch. We'll pick up the boys when they get off work, and we'll all go to Seven Senoritas for dinner. Maybe without Mom, she's kind of a drag when she's drunk... Anyway, Jimmy, the bartender? He's one of my regulars and he'll totally give us free pitchers."

"Sounds like you've got a magical Dillon evening all planned," Tyra said sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up," Mindy said. "You love it and you know it, so don't be snotty. Let me go finish my hair and put on my face and we'll go get lunch."

Mindy hopped up and disappeared into the bathroom.

"Well," Julie said, raising her eyebrows at Tyra, "looks like we're in for an interesting night."

"No kidding," Tyra said. "You still have the fake ID I got you?"

"Yeah," Julie replied, "although it's probably coated with cobwebs at the back of a drawer somewhere. It didn't see a whole lot of action this year."

"I know. You've mentioned it once or twice. We'll make up for it tonight, okay? Although we will have to suffer the charming company of the Riggins brothers."

"Right," Julie said. Her heart sank at the prospect of facing Tim again after what happened the other night. Couldn't they just skip ahead to the part where it was all a distant memory?

It wasn't that Julie thought Tim would be weird about it; he'd certainly been nothing but discreet and understanding after she tried to kiss him the night of the Riley incident. No, it wasn't that at all.

The thing that scared Julie was that she had liked kissing him, _really_ liked it. That wasn't something she'd expected. She'd always seen herself as being above the whole Tim Riggins hysteria that seemed to consume most of the girls and women of Dillon. After getting to know him better, she'd begun to appreciate his other, more subtle qualities as a friend. Apparently a little alcohol and loneliness went a long way in making a girl a tad more hysterical.

Now, Julie wasn't sure if she could make herself go back to the tentative friendship they'd been forming before they went and ruined the whole thing. Not after a kiss like that.

As she looked at Jordyn grinning happily as Tyra bounced her on her knee, she knew she'd have to try.

***

Tim shook his head in disdain as one of the truckers he and Billy were playing against pocketed the 8-ball for the third straight time. Billy shot him a disgruntled look, unhappy with Tim's insistence that they not hustle anyone tonight. Obviously they'd missed an easy mark.

It was past midnight, and they'd been playing pool for hours, preferring the game to the noisy table where their party had taken up residence. Angela had agreed to take Jordyn for the night so they could all go out and have some fun, and Mindy was taking full advantage. Tim glanced over at the table; Tyra and Landry were nowhere to be seen, and Julie seemed to be trying to talk Mindy out of something. Probably another round of Screaming Orgasms, if Tim knew his sister-in-law at all.

Mindy leaned over to say something to Julie, who smiled before looking over at Tim, her eyes meeting his across the crowded bar. The smile fell from her face and she looked away.

"Think I'm gonna call it quits," Tim mumbled to Billy, putting his cue down on the table and picking up his beer. He left before Billy could respond, making his way across the bar. By the time he got to the table, the song had changed and Tyra and Landry were back from the dance floor. They were breathless and laughing, each nursing a beer poured from the now empty pitcher.

"Hey ladies, Lando," Tim said, standing by the table. "Y'all need a fresh pitcher?"

"Yes!" Mindy exclaimed, turning to glare at Julie. "At least_ someone_ around here has manners. Get us another pitcher, Timmy, please."

Julie gaped helplessly at Mindy, but Tyra intervened.

"Julie's right; I think you've had enough, Min," she said, "at least for now. You want a soda or something instead?"

"No! Let's get another round of shots!"

Tyra began arguing the merits of this particular plan with her sister, and Tim glanced again in Julie's direction. She was looking out over the dance floor, chewing her bottom lip. He took in the little stack of overturned shot glasses and her half-empty beer glass. Silently, he edged around to her side of the table. She didn't look up right away, so he cleared his throat to get her attention.

"Hey Tim," she said quietly, taking a sip of her beer to avoid looking up at him. "How's pool?"

"You wanna dance?"

"What?" Julie asked, although he knew she had heard his question.

"I said, do you wanna dance with me?"

"You _dance_?" Julie asked, her voice sliding towards mockery although her eyes were wide and nervous.

"Come on," Tim said, exasperated. He held his hand out. "Do you want to or not?"

"Sure," Julie muttered, putting her hand in his and standing up. He led her out onto the creaky wooden dance floor, all the way to the far side, away from their friends.

The song was a slow, sad country ballad, and as he took in Julie's bowed head and the tension in her posture, he wondered if he'd overplayed his hand. They swayed gently back and forth for all of thirty seconds before Tim became frustrated.

"Come here," he said, sliding his hand against her lower back and pulling her close. "You can't dance like you're carrying a big laundry basket or something."

Julie looked up, her face flushed and her eyes bright. She opened her mouth to say something, then shut it and took a step towards him, her face inches away from his chest. He could feel the heat of her breath through the worn cotton.

"Listen," he said softly against the side of her head, "I gotta ask you something. Why'd you come over to my place the other night?"

"I didn't have anywhere else to go," Julie replied, looking up at him uncertainly.

Tim nodded and looked away. As his eyes ran over the dancing couples surrounding them, he wondered if maybe she didn't have anywhere else to go tonight, either.

"I'm sorry about what happened," Julie said quietly, staring at his chest with a frown.

"You are?" Tim asked. Why was she apologising?

"Aren't you?"

"Not really," Tim replied. "I'm sorry if I scared you, but I'm not sorry it happened."

"You didn't scare me," Julie lied. "I just felt... I don't know. Surprised, I guess."

They fell silent, the music once again filling the space between them. Tim looked at Julie's downturned face, at the flush staining her cheeks. If he hadn't scared her, what made her take off like that? He couldn't figure her out.

"Think I'm gonna head home after this," Tim said, after a long pause.

"Oh," Julie replied, glancing back towards the table where everyone else was still sitting, drinking and laughing. Billy had joined them, and had apparently brought a fresh pitcher with him. "Aren't you gonna wait for -?"

"Nah, they're gonna drop Landry off and then they're all staying out at the Collettes'," he said. "I kinda... I dunno. It's awkward."

"Yeah," Julie nodded. "Um, my car's at your place."

"Huh?"

"My car. It's parked at your place. I came with Tyra and Mindy, so I left it there after we went out for lunch."

"Right," Tim said. "Well, if you wanna stay a while longer, that's fine; I'll drive you back whenever."

"No!" Julie said, shaking her head. "No, it's okay. I don't want to keep you. Let me just go say goodnight to Tyra."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," she replied, looking down. "I think I'm kinda over the whole bar thing right now."

"Yeah," he said, his chin touching the silky hair on the top of her head. His stomach clenched strangely as her breath brushed the bare skin of his neck. "I know what you mean."

***

Not a word passed between them the whole ride back to Tim's, the only sound in the truck the radio softly playing a country song. Julie stared out the window for most of the ride, watching the storefronts and houses pass. The drinks she'd had that evening left her body feeling languid, but her mind was still tense.

Julie looked at Tim across the cab of the truck. He didn't notice, too busy tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and taking the turn onto his street. She bit her lip.

Tim pulled into the driveway next to her car. He killed the engine, but made no move to get out of the truck.

"Thanks for the ride," Julie said, her voice breaking the silence. Tim turned to look at her. "And for the night out. I think I kinda needed that."

Tim didn't respond; he merely stared at her, his pupils darkening his eyes in the dim dashboard light. Julie felt herself blushing.

"So like I said, Billy and Mindy are staying at the Collettes'," Tim said.

"Yeah," Julie replied, her voice cracking. She cleared her throat. "I guess you're on your own tonight."

Tim blinked once at her, slowly, before breaking eye contact and glancing down, a smile quirking his lips. He suddenly reminded Julie of her grandmother's big marmalade tom cat, who used to like to stretch out on Julie's chest and purr and blink at her just like that when she visited, beguiling her so she wouldn't move him. Julie wasn't much of a cat person, but it always seemed to work.

"Yeah," Tim said, his eyes meeting hers again. "You wanna come in for a bit?"

Julie swallowed. She was uncertain whether that question was loaded, or whether she was merely overanalysing things.

"Sure," she replied, hoping she seemed more confident than she felt. She hopped out of the truck before she could see the look on his face.

They didn't say anything else as they walked up to the house and Tim let them in. As soon as they were inside, Julie slipped into the bathroom to collect herself. She was a little drunk, and she felt unbalanced, like she'd arrived in a foreign land where she didn't speak the language. After splashing water on her hot face, she stared at her reflection in the grungy mirror. The longer she looked, the less confident she felt, so she blew her bangs up out of her eyes and turned away, opening the door.

She nearly collided with Tim, who was standing only a couple feet away from the bathroom door. She looked up at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Do you make a habit of lurking when people are trying to use the bathroom?"

He shrugged. "Nightcap?"

Julie regarded him for a moment. He was totally inscrutable right now, his face completely blank, and she found it very irritating.

"Sure," she said, stalling. She wasn't certain exactly what she was trying to stall.

Tim turned and went into the kitchen, opening cupboards noisily. Running a nervous hand over her hair, Julie went into the living room and sat down on the couch. Tim appeared seconds later, carrying two shot glasses and a bottle of cheap tequila.

"That's a pretty serious nightcap," Julie said as Tim sat down next to her and set the shot glasses down on the coffee table. He poured out two shots, and pressed one glass into her hand.

"Cheers," he said merely, holding his glass up to hers and meeting her eyes.

"Cheers," Julie replied, looking down shyly.

"You have to look me in the eye," Tim scolded, still holding his drink out to her, "or else it doesn't count."

"Oh," Julie said. She lifted her eyes up to his, and their glasses met with a quiet clink.

"Cheers," Tim repeated, looking right at her.

"Cheers."

Julie knocked her shot back, grimacing as she placed it back down on the coffee table. Tim laughed at her expression.

"You don't like tequila?" he asked.

"I like tequila," Julie protested. "I'm just not used to drinking it by itself."

"You've got a lot to learn, Taylor," Tim teased, pouring another round.

"Oh, please," Julie replied, rolling her eyes and taking her glass again.

"Your turn," Tim said, holding his glass up.

"My turn?"

"To toast," he prompted.

"Oh. Um. Here's to... Friends. Old and new," Julie ventured, shrugging.

"To friends," Tim repeated, tapping his glass against hers.

They knocked back their shots, and Julie did a better job of not sputtering this time around.

"Too bad I don't have any limes," Tim said.

"I'm very disappointed in you," Julie replied, shaking her head in mock dismay.

"You want another?" he asked, already pouring two more shots.

"Are you trying to get me drunk, Tim Riggins?"

"Think I'm a bit late for that," Tim laughed. He handed her the shot, and they both drank.

Julie's head swam a little as she thumped the glass down on the table, trying to catch her breath. She glanced over at Tim. He wasn't laughing at her, but he was smiling, his eyes shining.

Summoning the same sudden courage which had once prompted her to kiss Matt in the middle of a crowded school corridor, Julie closed the space between them and kissed him. Tim responded after a brief pause, burying his hands in her long hair, tugging it free of its long ponytail.

Julie moved closer to him on the couch, awkwardly trying to twist her body around to kiss him properly. He tugged on her upper arms, pulling her into his lap.

There was nothing polite about the way Tim Riggins kissed. His mouth tasted sharp from the tequila and he slid his hands up her sides and her back, holding her body tightly to his.

Julie pulled away after several minutes, gasping to catch her breath. Tim rested his forehead against hers, doing the same.

"Listen, do you wanna...?" he trailed off, the rest of the question in his eyes. Julie knew now that his invitation earlier_ had_ been loaded. She blinked. No, she'd known that from the moment he asked.

It was almost definitely a terrible idea. But it was dark, and late, and the liquor made everything seem softer and warmer and safer, somehow. He ran a hand up her back, rubbing firmly between her shoulder blades. Julie closed her eyes and smiled faintly.

Most important of all, he was _here_, and he was not pushing her away.

"Yeah," she said quietly. "I do."

They stumbled their way to Tim's bedroom, collapsing breathless onto his unmade bed. A wrestling match ensued, but Julie eventually coaxed him into letting go of her long enough for her to yank her shirt over her head. He watched as she kicked her jeans across the room before reaching to remove her bra. Self-conscious, Julie peeled off the last of her clothes while blushing under Tim's watchful expression. She was glad it was dark, the room lit only by moonlight and the soft orange glow of the streetlights outside his window.

The sensation of his hand on her bare thigh made her breath catch in her throat. It had been so long since anyone had touched her. She could feel him watching her in the dark.

"Come here," she breathed, uncomfortable with the attention he was paying her. He glanced up at her, a question in his eyes, but she ignored it, falling backwards onto his pillows and pulling him with her.

Between kisses, Tim shucked off what clothes he wore, pulling away only when absolutely necessary. He turned and hung his head over the edge of the bed, rummaging around. Julie heard the familiar tear of foil as Tim found a condom, and she was relieved they didn't need to have a conversation about it. _The less talking, the better_, she thought as he rejoined her, sliding his hands up her thighs and nudging himself between them.

Julie realised how drunk she actually was when he pushed inside her, pressing his hips hard into hers. He ran his hands up the length of her arms, holding her hands over her head. Julie gasped, and black spots danced in front of her eyes.

Julie tried to remember how to breathe as Tim drew back his hips and thrust into her again. He let go of her hands, bracing his elbows on either side of her head. Julie reached out and held on to his arms as he rocked into her in long, slow thrusts, rolling her hips up to meet his.

"Damn, Jules," he groaned, his damp hair hanging down and obscuring his eyes.

Julie could only gasp in response, her nails digging into his biceps. She felt delirious, like all the air had gone out of the room. Tim changed the angle of his thrusts, cradling her head in his hands and gripping her hair.

"I can't," he mumbled against her neck, his whole body shuddering, "I'm not gonna-"

Her skin felt tight and hot, almost painful, like if she didn't find release right now, like_ immediately_, she might actually die. Frantically, she grabbed his hand, sliding it between their bodies, pressing it against her. He found the right spot with his thumb and rubbed roughly, forcing her to come so sharply that she cried out in surprise.

Tim shifted his weight again and grabbed her hips, thrusting through her orgasm and drawing it out as he came. He groaned deeply and collapsed, his body a dead weight on hers as he panted brokenly.

_Apparently it's been a while for him, too_, Julie thought as she tried to slow the pounding of her heart.

He heaved an exhausted sigh, his mouth hot as he left a trail of lazy kisses across her collarbone. After a long pause, he pulled away from her and collapsed on the bed.

Julie felt a sense of calm wash over her, and she took several deep breaths, trying to force that relaxed feeling into every cell of her body. She stayed that way for several minutes, just staring up at the ceiling over Tim's bed and thinking of absolutely nothing at all.

Finally, she glanced over at Tim. His eyes were closed and his breathing was slow and even.

"Tim?" she asked, her voice very quiet. He didn't respond. She reached out a cautious finger and poked him in the arm, but still nothing. He was fast asleep.

Julie rolled over, looking back up at the ceiling. The calm feeling evaporated as quickly as it had arrived.

Her mind began working, suddenly imagining staying the night and waking up next to Tim in the morning. Just the thought made her feel sick. If there was one thing she could not deal with in a morning after, it was Tim's awkward wordlessness. Absolutely not.

She looked back over at him, sleeping soundly beside her. Examining his face in the half-light, all she could think about was the way his voice sounded, his breath hot against her neck, as he came.

Julie shivered, and a wave of hot panic rolled through her. She had to get out of here right now, before she did something even stupider than everything else she'd done lately.

Trying not to jostle the bed, Julie got up and began searching silently in the dark for her clothes. She dressed hastily, donning what clothes she could find and abandoning the rest. Leaving the room without a backwards glance, Julie snuck out the front door, locking it behind her with her spare house key.

Knowing she probably shouldn't be driving but too freaked out to even consider staying, Julie drove home through the back streets of Dillon at an absolute crawl. She held her breath the whole way, refusing to think about anything that had happened that night; never mind that her skin still tingled and her muscles ached.

Never mind that she could still smell Tim on her skin, and that unsteadied her worse than all the drinks she'd had that night. Every time she shifted to shoulder check, his scent followed her, and every time it made her want to turn her car around and head right back in his direction.

She had never felt more relieved to pull into the safety of her driveway.

"Hey hon," came her mother's voice from the living room the moment she stepped through the door. Julie had thought her parents would be asleep by now, but apparently they had stayed up to watch a late movie.

"Hey," she replied, hovering in the hallway, hoping to avoid a real conversation. She could only imagine how she must look. Her mother was sitting up in the chair, but her father had fallen asleep on the couch.

"Y'all have a fun time tonight?" Tami asked, leaning over the arm of her chair. Julie gulped, convinced that what she'd been up to was written all over her face.

"Yeah, we had a great time. I'm kinda tired, though, so I think I'm just gonna go to bed."

Tami regarded her for a moment before smiling tiredly. "I'm glad to hear that. You don't get out enough these days."

"I know, mom." Julie looked down at the floor, afraid to meet her mother's eyes.

"Okay," Tami said, turning back to the TV. "You tell Tyra to come say hey at me again before she heads back to Austin, please."

"Sure," Julie replied, heading quickly down the hallway. "Goodnight!"

Julie entered her bedroom and closed the door behind her. She leaned against the door, utterly still, until her heart stopped pounding. Her thoughts were racing.

What had happened? What had she done? What had_ they _done?

This was the first time she'd ever been with anyone but Matt. The first time, too, that she'd ever been with someone she did not love.

She_ loved _Matt. Yes, they had broken up. But they had been together for years, and she wasn't the kind of girl who just turned around and jumped into bed with someone who was supposed to be her friend, somebody who was technically sort of employing her right now.

Except that apparently she was.

On wobbly legs, she stripped off her clothing and kicked it towards her open closet, out of sight. She grabbed her bathrobe and headed to the bathroom, hoping her parents wouldn't find it completely bizarre that she was having a shower at 2 AM.

Her head throbbing, she stood under the hot water until she felt certain that she had washed away the beer, smoke, sweat, tequila, and completely unnerving iTim/i smell that had clung to her the whole way home.

Safely back in her bedroom, she changed into clean pyjamas and climbed into bed. She pulled the covers up to her chin and stared silently up at the glow-in-the-dark stars her mother had let her stick to her ceiling the summer they moved to Dillon.

She didn't fall asleep for a long time.


	8. Chapter 8

Julie woke up late Saturday morning, blinking blearily up at the sunshine stretching across her ceiling. She squeezed her eyes shut and rolled over, moaning as her head began to pound. Everything that had happened the night before was still, unfortunately, very real. Seven Senoritas. The beer. The tequila.

Tim.

Julie buried her face in her pillow and groaned. What on earth had she been _thinking_? Sure, the tequila had muddied things up a bit and maybe made certain things seem like good ideas when they probably weren't, but she hadn't been ithat/i drunk. They'd both been eager and coherent participants the whole time.

It would have been easier to write the whole thing off as a drunken mistake.

After eventually dragging herself out of bed, Julie moped around the house for several hours, snapping at her parents and Gracie until they finally all gave up and left her alone. She got herself to work for her shift, distractedly passing through the busy dinner rush, grateful that, for once, no one she knew came through the doors.

Tyra picked her up late in the morning the next day, after Julie returned home from church with her family. They wanted to get in one last visit before Tyra had to drive back to Austin.

"Are you okay?" Tyra asked, glancing over at her. The girls had picked up lunch and driven out to the lake. They were sitting on the end of an unused dock, their feet in the water. "You've been weird all weekend."

Julie sighed, taking a sip of her smoothie. She wanted someone to confide in, but she could already picture the look on Tyra's face if she told her what had happened. Tyra was barely tolerant of Tim at the best of times. They were family now, and Julie had a feeling that Tyra attempting to kill him with her bare hands would make the Riggins-Collette family Thanksgiving a little awkward.

"Nothing, really," Julie replied finally, idly swishing her feet through the cool water. "I guess I'm just sort of feeling weird about this whole in-between thing this summer."

"Graduation's kinda anti-climactic, huh?" Tyra asked, sliding her sunglasses up her nose and squinting up at the hot sun.

"Pretty much," Julie agreed.

Tyra watched Julie for a moment, sipping her own smoothie. "That's understandable," she said after a pause, "but I kinda thought you'd be more excited to see me."

Julie looked up to see Tyra turning away to look over the lake. "I am excited to see you! I'm just... preoccupied."

"Preoccupied," Tyra repeated sceptically. "Sure."

Julie looked at the side of Tyra's head for a moment before clearing her throat. "So what's up with you and Landry?"

"Nice change of subject," Tyra muttered, removing the straw from her smoothie and chewing on it contemplatively. "I don't know. We're playing it by ear."

"Gotcha. So does that mean you had sex with him this weekend, or...?"

"Guttermind," Tyra sniffed, tossing her shoulder-length hair over her shoulder in mock insult. She looked down at the water, which rippled outwards in rings from her ankles. When she spoke again, her voice was quiet and serious. "I don't know what to do about Landry. He's one of my very best friends. Sometimes I can picture us getting back together in the future, maybe getting a place together, doing all those couple things. But sometimes..." she looked up at Julie and shrugged, smiling sadly. "Sometimes I can't."

Julie shifted closer to Tyra on the dock, their arms brushing against one another. "I really am glad you decided to come up to visit, you know."

"Me too."

"Do you think you'll be able to come again before school starts?"

"I'm not sure. Probably not. Think your parents would let you come down for a weekend?"

"Let me? I'm eighteen."

"I'm aware. I'm also aware that your parents are still Coach and Tami Taylor."

Julie smiled. "I'm sure I could talk them into it."

"The good news is that once school starts, we're only going to be like three hours away from each other. I can come down to Houston all the time and cramp your style."

"Cramp my style?"

"Sure. You can introduce me to all your vegan hipster college buddies as Tyra, your trashy friend from your hometown. I'll show them that thing I can do with a beer can."

"You're kidding, right?" Julie laughed.

"Yeah," Tyra wheedled, "but, you know... You're going to love college."

"So I've been told."

"You're going to love it, and it's going to love you, and you're going to have the time of your life. I just don't want you to, you know, outgrow me."

Julie turned and stared at Tyra's downturned head. Didn't Tyra have any idea how much Julie had always looked up to her? She shifted her hips and bumped her shoulder against Tyra's.

"Don't be crazy," she said. "We're gonna go to college and keep in touch like we did this year, and then in a couple years we're going to get an apartment together in Austin. We'll get six cats and watch marathons of _Gene Simmons Family Jewels_ and never leave the apartment."

Tyra laughed. "Right."

"We'll be friends. We will."

"Okay," Tyra conceded. She eyed Julie for a moment, her eyes sharp. Julie tried not to squirm; sometimes Tyra was way too perceptive. "You know, whatever it is that's making you frown like you just found out that veggie burgers have been banned in the state of Texas, you can tell me about it, right?"

"Nothing's wrong," Julie insisted. "I promise."

"All right. You'll tell me what's going on eventually. No pressure." Tyra looked down at her wristwatch and sighed. "I'd better hit the road."

"I guess so," Julie agreed reluctantly, lifting her feet up out of the water and collecting her shoes.

"Want me to drop you off at home, or do you have somewhere more exciting to be?" Tyra asked, stretching and slipping her feet back into their flip flops.

Julie squinted up at the wide, cloudless sky, and shrugged.

"Nope. I don't have anywhere more exciting to be."

***

It wasn't news to Tim that sex complicated things, but that had never stopped him in the past. He'd never really thought of himself as one of those guys who went looking for trouble; it just seemed to find him. Sex complicated things. Tim liked sex. Trouble followed.

For Tim, sex was just sex. Aside from Lyla and Tyra, it was always more or less the same. Maybe it was 'cause it had been a while, but he couldn't seem to get sex with Julie out of his head.

From the moment he woke up on Saturday morning to find himself alone (three perfectly straight, long golden hairs on his sheets and a pair of dark blue striped underwear the only signs that she'd been there at all,) Tim found he could not stop thinking about Julie.

It wasn't a surprise to Tim that he was attracted to her; he'd always thought she was cute. But there used to be something about her that made her seem untouchable. Lyla had been out of his league, but that hadn't made her out of his reach. Julie was Coach's daughter, and she and Seven had their whole thing going on, and Tim hadn't been really interested in anyone except Lyla for a long time, anyway. They were acquaintances and sometimes-friends, and that was fine with Tim.

But things were different now. High school was behind them, and Tim had found that once they were both away from the circus of football and rally girls and first loves, all he could see was the hot, smart, funny, available girl sitting right there in his own living room.

The surprising thing about it was that Julie seemed to be interested in him, too. After Friday night, he guessed that "interested" was putting it lightly.

Tim didn't hear from her on Saturday or Sunday, which he thought was probably for the best. Girls never seemed to know what to do with themselves afterward, and it was usually awkward. Best to give each other some space. Tim knew she had his number, though, so when Monday rolled around and he still hadn't heard from her, he began to get a little annoyed.

Monday was a terrible day. He knew Julie had a job and all, but it wasn't all day, and she still had her cell phone. She could send a text or something, at least. Even worse, Mindy didn't work Mondays, so when he got home, Julie wasn't even there to greet him with a smile and a wisecrack. Just Mindy wandering from room to room with Jordyn balanced on one hip and the cordless phone cradled in her shoulder, talking to someone named Cherish.

Tuesday was even worse. By Tuesday, Tim had gone past annoyed and back to horny again. He liked to think he had a healthy sex drive, but this was ridiculous. He couldn't seem to go thirty seconds without thinking about Julie. Specifically, sex with Julie.

He thought about her all day. He thought about her while he burned the eggs he made for breakfast. He thought about her while he drove to the garage. He thought about her while he fed Chop Block. He thought about her so hard, in fact, that he smashed his finger with a wrench while he was working on Mrs. Werner's Buick.

The sex in his memory became exaggerated to sex of legendary proportions, and by 5 PM, Tim was convinced that his life would be over if he didn't get his hands on Julie again immediately.

Which is how he ended up with a speeding ticket on his way home from work that night.

***

Julie tapped the end of her pen against the notebook on the coffee table in front of her, trying to get herself to focus. She was perusing her information from Rice, attempting to sort out her schedule so she could register for classes, but she was finding it difficult to concentrate.

This was unsurprising, given that she had returned to the scene of the crime.

Nervously she glanced up at the clock on the microwave. Not much longer now and Tim would be home from work; time to put her escape plan in action.

Julie stood up and gathered her things, cramming them into her messenger bag. She checked on Jordyn (who was down for her nap) and, satisfied that the baby was still fast asleep, palmed her keys and stood four feet away from the front door, ready to bolt the minute Tim arrived.

The plan was going smoothly until she heard the rumble of Tim's Chevy as he turned the corner onto the street.

Her palms began to sweat. Her pulse began to pound. She went weak at the knees. She _actually _went weak at the knees.

_Unbelievable!_ Julie marvelled, glaring at the front door as though it was Tim's stupid face.

She heard the truck pull into the driveway and the engine turn off. She steeled herself, ready to make a break for it, when the door suddenly swung open. Julie stepped back, surprised. Tim must have nearly leaped out of the truck to make it up to the house that fast.

Before she could say a word, he slammed the door shut behind him and reached for her, pinning her against it and pressing his lips to hers in one smooth motion.

Julie was well aware that this was a bad idea, but as Tim pushed her against the closed door and eased a thigh up between her legs to hold her there, she was having a hard time remembering precisely why.

Shifting his hips back, Tim slid a hand up under her skirt. Julie gasped, her face reddening. It was a bit embarrassing how turned on she was already. Tim didn't seem to think anything of it, leaning into her and burying his face against her shoulder.

"Bedroom?" he mumbled.

"Wherever," Julie replied breathlessly as his teeth scraped against her neck.

"Hold on," he said, running his hands down her thighs to hook her legs around his waist. He carried her to his room and dropped her on the bed like she weighed nothing. Julie barely had time to catch her breath before Tim was yanking her underwear down her thighs and reaching next to his bed for a condom.

Moving between her thighs, he thrust into her, hard. Julie slid across the mattress with a gasp, her head about to tip back over the edge, but his hand was behind it, his fingers tangling in her hair.

"Oh my god," Julie groaned, reaching up and grabbing his shoulders, her fingernails digging into his skin. She gripped his hips as hard as she could with her thighs, sure she was going to have bruises the next day.

"Uh huh," Tim agreed, grinding his hips against hers and catching her bottom lip between his teeth.

Julie couldn't speak, could barely breathe; this wasn't like anything she'd ever experienced before. Sex with Matt had been wonderful, but it hadn't been anything like this. She suddenly understood why her mother called it "making love" – calling both this and what she had with Matt_ sex _was rather like calling both avocados and oranges_ fruit_. Generally accurate, but not nearly precise enough.

This, she thought as Tim hitched her leg up higher on his hip, must be fucking.

"You okay?" Tim panted, leaning up on his forearms to look at her. He must have noticed the look of shock on her face.

"Fine!" Julie reassured him breathlessly, her voice a little too bright.

Tim watched her closely for a moment before leaning in and kissing her, his mouth a gentle counterpoint to the roughness of his thrusts. Holding her tightly to him, he turned them both suddenly, switching positions so Julie was on top of him.

Julie braced her hands on the mattress next to his head, shifting to get the right angle. Tim let out a strange sound somewhere between a moan and a whimper as she leaned forward, his hands gripping her hips tightly as he thrust up into her. She was glad she hadn't removed her shirt; she felt incredibly exposed as it was.

Tim frowned, shoving her skirt out of his way to ease a hand down between them to find her clit, which he rolled between two fingers.

Julie groaned, leaning back and scraping her fingernails against his chest through his shirt.

"Jesus, Jules," Tim moaned, pressing his thumb firmly against her. Julie gasped in shocked pleasure, her orgasm swift and almost painfully good.

His fingers digging bruises into her hips, Tim twisted them both again so that Julie was on her back. He pressed her knees almost up to her shoulders, fucking her hard and panting like the effort was killing him.

"Come on," Julie said breathlessly, tugging his hair between her fingers. He opened his eyes and stared at her, both their faces flushed and sweaty in the afternoon light. He came then, groaning as his body shuddered against hers.

Holding his weight off of her, he moved aside and stretched out on his back. For several minutes there was no sound but their laboured breathing. Tim was the first to break the relative silence.

"I've been thinkin' about that _all _damn day," he breathed.

Julie couldn't reply; she was too busy trying to piece her world back together again.

Tim exhaled heavily, sitting up slowly and stretching. "You hungry?" he asked. He stood up and left the room, stripping his shirt off and tossing it aside as he did so.

_Hungry_? All Julie wanted to do was lie there and sleep forever. Forcing her boneless limbs into action, she pushed her skirt back down over her legs and sat up.

Taking a shaky breath in, she looked around her and took stock of her situation. She was on Tim Riggins's bed, barely conscious, underwear... somewhere, recovering from just about the best sex of her young life. She almost laughed; she had officially become the thing she hated and disdained most in her world – a rally girl.

Julie groaned. This was stupid. This was a terrible, horrible path they were starting down, but all logic seemed to fail in the face of _Riggins_. She wondered if her dignity would benefit or suffer if she were to climb out the window and sneak off right now, albeit sans underwear.

She was prevented from finding out by Tim, who appeared in the doorway, wearing only his low-slung jeans and holding a take-out menu in one hand.

"I'm thinking pizza," he said. "You?"

"Um, sure," Julie replied, bewildered.

"Vegetarian with extra cheese, no onions?" he asked over his shoulder as he turned back into the other room, presumably to find the phone. Julie stared, growing more confused by the moment. Apparently Tim had a crystal ball that told him what girls liked on their pizza.

"Yeah," she replied, looking around on the floor for her underwear while he was occupied. Julie spotted them and snatched them up, shimmying them back up her legs and running a hand over her messy hair to steady herself.

Julie heard Tim talking on the phone to the pizza place, so she took the opportunity to sneak out of his bedroom and into the bathroom. After using the facilities and splashing some cold water on her face, she stood at the sink and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She didn't like the question she saw in her dark eyes, didn't like that she didn't have an answer for it.

When she couldn't look at herself any longer, she turned and left the bathroom. Tim was standing in the middle of the room, watching the bathroom door. They stared at one another.

"Pizza's gonna be here in about half an hour," Tim said.

Julie nodded wordlessly.

Tim looked away, clearing his throat awkwardly. "You look..." he trailed off.

"I look what?"

"Kinda scared," he replied, a smile quirking his lips but not quite reaching his eyes.

"Oh," Julie said, blushing. "I'm not scared, I've just never... You know."

Tim blinked at her, apprehension entering his expression. "You've never...?"

"Oh, no!" Julie exclaimed, shaking her head. "No, I've – yeah, I've done_ that_ before, I've just never... I mean, I was only with Matt before. Ever. You know?"

Tim nodded, then cleared his throat again. "You want something to drink?"

"Sure," she said.

Wordlessly, Tim turned and retrieved two beers from the fridge before sitting down on one end of the couch. The invitation was obvious. Swallowing, Julie followed him, silently taking the proffered beer and sitting down on the other end of the couch.

Silence fell between them and lasted for so long that when Tim finally spoke, his voice was husky and it surprised Julie out of her anxious thoughts.

"Sorry if I scared you."

"What? You didn't scare me."

"Yeah," Tim said, "it's just you keep on running for the door."

"It's not... I'm not _scared _of you, Tim."

"Do you regret what happened?" Julie glanced up to find him watching her closely.

"I... I don't know. That's a hard question to answer," she said softly, looking away.

"No it's not. It's pretty simple, actually."

"It is _so_ hard to answer," Julie argued. "Am I confused right now? Yes. Does it freak me out that this is happening? Yes. Do I know what to do next? No. Was the sex fantastic? Yes. Do I want to jump you every time I look at you now? Yes. So yeah, it is a hard question to answer, okay?"

"Jump me, huh?"

"Yeah," Julie replied, clearing her throat and looking away. There was a protracted pause during which neither of them spoke. Tim watched her for what felt like ages before turning his gaze to the floor.

"I think this is the part where I'm supposed to ask you what we're doing," Julie said softly.

Tim shrugged, uncomfortable.

"It's okay," Julie said, after a brief silence. "I don't really want to try to label this. I don't have a label for this, actually."

Another pause followed. Julie wanted to reach over and shove him or smack him, anything to make him say _something_. They were interrupted then by a knock at the door.

"Pizza," Tim mumbled, standing up and retrieving several crumpled bills from the kitchen counter.

Julie stayed on the couch, staring blankly at the dusty, duct-taped TV. Tim returned with their pizza, and two more cold beers.

"We never finished watching _Terminator_," Tim pointed out.

"No, we didn't."

"Want to?"

Julie blinked at him. So that was the extent of the conversation they were going to have about what was going on between them?

"Sure," she replied finally, reaching for a slice of pizza. She wasn't going to force more awkward discussions if he wasn't.

They ate and watched the rest of the movie in silence, Tim periodically getting up and fetching more from his seemingly endless supply of beer. When _Terminator_ ended, Tim stood and switched another disc into the DVD player, this time a comedy Julie had seen before. She was full, and exhausted, and the beer was making her head tired and heavy. The picture kept blurring before her eyes as she struggled to stay awake.

Julie shivered hard, frowning in confusion to find herself curled up on the couch, her cheek resting on something that felt like denim. She was just realising that she must have fallen asleep during the movie when she felt something warm cover her body.

"Huh?" she mumbled, blinking. The living room was dark except for the blue light of the TV, and her head was resting on Tim's thigh.

"You awake?"

"Yeah," Julie grumbled, sitting up and rubbing at her face. "Did I fall asleep?"

"Yeah," Tim replied, watching her somewhat warily. "You started shivering, so I got a blanket."

"Thanks," she said, putting her feet down on the floor and yawning tiredly. "What time is it?"

"Almost 10," Tim replied.

"Seriously? I must have fallen asleep hours ago."

"Yeah, you did."

"I should go." She stood up, embarrassed for falling asleep in his lap.

"You don't have to," Tim replied, standing up as well.

"No, I really should. It's late."

Julie gathered up her things, trying not to be bothered by the way Tim stood back, just watching her. She found her keys and he followed her to the door.

"So," he said, standing in the open doorway with her. Julie paused on the front stoop and looked up at him. She was oddly reminded of the first time she ever saw his house, when she had Lois drive her there to apologise for being too cowardly to tell her parents the truth. Julie sighed.

"My parents are having a Fourth of July barbecue at our place. They wanted me to make sure you guys knew you were welcome, so..."

"Sure," Tim said. "We'll be there."

"Listen, maybe we shouldn't tell anyone," she said softly, glancing up at him to gauge his reaction.

He didn't reply for a moment, but it was hard to read his face, which was half obscured by shadow.

"Probably not," he agreed finally. "Coach'd kill me."

"Yeah, I guess," Julie replied. "Well... Goodnight."

Another long pause followed before Tim nodded. "Night, Jules."

Julie turned and walked to her car, which was parked out on the street. She got in and started the engine. Before pulling out to drive away, she looked back up at the house.

The door was closed. Tim had already gone back inside.

On the way home, Julie thought about the completely unspoken agreement they'd apparently come to. This was going to be a relationship based purely on sex. Fine. Julie could deal with that. Sex was good. She liked sex. She had missed it when Matt went away to college. Besides, she needed something to pass the time until August, and if she could take advantage of Tim's complete lack of sexual impulse control, she was going to. It was perfect, really.

Really. Things were just totally, completely perfect.


	9. Chapter 9

"Jules, will you please come help me with this? Everyone's gonna be here any minute."

Julie stood up from her spot on the couch where she and Gracie had been reading a book. Walking into the kitchen, her mother handed her a tray loaded down with cutlery and serving spoons before directing her to take it all out onto the patio.

It was the Fourth of July, and her parents had chosen to torment their daughter by having half of Dillon over for a barbecue. They'd done it every summer since her father had been head coach of the Panthers and then the Lions, but in the past it hadn't aggravated Julie as much because at least then she had Matt and Tyra. Everything was more bearable with friends close by. Julie wasn't so sure that Tim really counted, at this point.

While Julie was in the back yard putting the finishing touches on the buffet her mother had put together on the picnic table, she heard the doorbell ring as their guests started to arrive. Her father was at the barbecue, manfully keeping watch over the meat as it cooked.

"Hey," he said, pointing a pair of barbecue tongs at her. "Be nice."

"Be _nice_?"

"You know what I mean. Be friendly. These people are our neighbours."

Julie rolled her eyes. "I know they're our neighbours."

"That's exactly what I mean. Just, take a cue from your mother, all right? Smile. And go answer the door, she can't do everything in there."

Julie said nothing and went back into the house, refusing to give her father the satisfaction of seeing her stomp away, however much she may have wanted to do that iand/i slam the patio door for good measure.

The doorbell rang again, and Julie went to answer it, dodging past the Streets and the Lions coaching staff, who had just arrived. Reaching the door, Julie pasted a smile on her face, like yes, she really was _very_ excited to have a whole bunch of people over to eat grilled dead animal and talk about football.

She swung the door open to find Buddy Garrity standing on the front step, a case of beer in his hands. He grinned at her.

"Happy Fourth of July, Julie Taylor! Look who I brought with me!"

Standing next to Buddy and holding a plastic wrap-covered bowl of potato salad was Lyla.

If Julie's completely fake smile fell just a little bit, she could hardly be blamed.

"Lyla!" Julie exclaimed. "What -?"

"Her daddy flew her home for the long weekend, didn't he, baby?"

"He sure did," Lyla replied, shooting Julie a somewhat rueful look.

"Oh," Julie said, her mind racing. _Lyla's here. Tim's going to be here. Lyla's here. Tim's going to be here. Crap, crap, crap. _"Come in," she stammered finally, opening the door wide to let the Garritys in.

Buddy went ahead, his arrival greeted noisily down the hall by the other guests. Lyla followed, pausing in front of Julie and glancing awkwardly down at the potato salad in her hands.

"Um, my mom's in the kitchen," Julie said. "You can just give that to her."

"Okay," Lyla smiled. "Thanks."

Julie closed the door and stood silently panicking in the foyer as Lyla disappeared into the house. Somewhat hysterically, she wondered if anyone would notice if she just hid in her closet for the duration of the evening.

She didn't have time to consider any other escape plans, however, for the doorbell rang again, startling her. She opened the door to find the Riggins-Collette clan standing on the front doorstep.

Perhaps this is what her mother meant when she used that old adage about your chickens coming home to roost.

"Everyone's out back," Julie said, gesturing pointlessly towards the back yard. Billy, Mindy, and Angela headed back with Jordyn in tow, but Julie stepped in front of Tim before he could follow them.

"We brought fireworks," Tim said, lifting the cardboard box in his arms to show her.

"I need to talk to you," Julie hissed, shoving Tim into the den.

"What's up?"

"Lyla's here."

Tim blinked at her. "What?"

"Lyla's _here_. As in, she's sitting in my back yard drinking lemonade right now. Buddy brought her."

Tim frowned at her, then looked down, his brow creased in thought. Julie had gotten to know some of Tim's nonverbal expressions, and she knew what that meant. She cleared her throat.

"Anyway, just thought I'd give you a heads up. I'm sure you two have a lot of_ catching up_ to do." Disgusted with the entire situation but mostly with herself, Julie turned on her heel and practically stomped down the hall through the living room and out into the yard. Pretending not to see the look her mother gave her, she threw herself down in the farthest lawn chair and proceeded to ignore the party going on around her.

Nothing threw a bucket of ice cold water on your lust like being trapped at a family barbecue with the guy you're kind of sleeping with, the love of his life, your parents, and half of your crappy one-horse town.

Gracie found her way over to Julie through the crowd and gratefully climbed up into her lap. Jordyn had been left to amuse herself on a picnic blanket on the lawn, and Gracie took the opportunity to cast smug glances over at the baby.

"Hey, Gracie Belle," Julie said as her sister settled herself in her lap, sitting so that they were facing one another. Gracie looked down, playing with Julie's belt buckle.

"Julie," Gracie replied, although it came out more like "Joo-wee". Julie grinned at her sister's dark, bowed head. More neighbours and friends of her parents were arriving by the minute.

"Having fun yet, Gracie?"

Gracie looked around at the assembly in their backyard.

"Wiggins," she stated, lifting her hand and pointing with one finger to the other side of the yard. She grinned at Julie.

"Traitor. I think I liked you better when you couldn't talk," Julie said. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Tim on the receiving end of Gracie's gesture, standing next to Billy.

Julie managed to successfully fend off everyone but the under-5 set for quite a while, but eventually Tami wandered over under the guise of checking on Gracie.

"You're neglecting our guests," she said quietly, leaning over and lifting Gracie up out of Julie's lap. She nodded over at Lyla, who was sitting by herself, her father otherwise occupied with Coach, discussing a pair of junior high linebackers who Buddy was sure were going to blow the roof off the Lions' defense next year.

Julie barely resisted the urge to snipe that they weren't_ her_ guests, and remembered that she was actually friends with Lyla. She dragged herself up and went over, sitting down next to Lyla at the picnic table.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey Julie," Lyla greeted her. "Nice night. Thanks for having us."

"It's okay. It was really my parents' idea, anyway."

"Oh," Lyla replied, wide-eyed. She cleared her throat. "So... Are you having a good summer? You're working at Applebee's, right?"

"Yeah."

"That's good. Do you make lots of tips?"

"Um, the tips are decent."

Lyla nodded, smiling. Silence fell between the two girls. Suddenly, Lyla looked down and laughed.

"What?" Julie asked, self-conscious. "What's funny?"

"No, I'm sorry," Lyla said, waving a hand. "It's not funny. I was just thinking that it's strange how you can talk about really personal stuff over email and then you see someone in person and it's all polite small talk."

"Yeah," Julie agreed, relaxing slightly. "Although it doesn't help that our dads are right over there, discussing plays and prospects."

Lyla shrugged. "I don't know about yours, but my dad was always pretty good at ignoring things he didn't want to hear about as long as he could focus on football. How do you think I got away with sneaking Jason into my room?"

"Did you really?"

"Sure. Jay used to climb up the rose trellis outside my bedroom and wait on the roof. Either that or I'd just let him in the front door once my parents were asleep."

"Wow. I think my parents must have superhuman senses or something. There's no way I'd ever get away with that," Julie replied. Laughing, she glanced over to see Tim standing next to the barbecue between her father and Buddy, watching her and Lyla with a frown on his face.

Julie blanched, and looked away. "So how's New York?"

Lyla launched enthusiastically into telling Julie all about her job and what she'd been up to, while Julie nodded and smiled, hoping it seemed like she was really listening. She really did want to hear about life in New York, but it was hard to concentrate when she could feel Tim glowering at the two of them the entire time.

"Hey y'all," Tami said above the noise of conversation, using her very best Principal Tami Taylor voice, "I understand from the head chef here that everything's just about ready, so why don't y'all grab another drink and then start lining up along. We're gonna do this buffet style, so I hope you weren't expecting anything too fancy."

Everyone slowly moved their conversations over towards the picnic table and the barbecue, lining up to get their food. Julie hung back, letting the guests go ahead. She grabbed a plate from the stack on the table, and eyed Buddy Garrity's potato salad, wondering how likely it was that it didn't contain meat of some kind.

As she opted instead for Mrs. Street's potato salad, she became aware that Tim had lined up right behind her and was standing very close to her.

"I gotta talk to you," he said in a low voice, obviously trying not to be heard by the others.

"Oh my god, just leave it," Julie hissed back, spooning some coleslaw onto her plate with perhaps a little too much force.

"Look, I'm just trying to-"

"Whatever, it doesn't even matter," Julie said, turning away from the table. She did the unthinkable and went to sit by Buddy and Lyla, hoping to use both of them as Tim-repellents. It worked; Tim glared after her for a moment, then turned and sat with Billy and Mindy on the other side of the patio.

The evening wore on, people drifting in and out of conversations as the sun dipped below the trees. While Tim and Billy and her father nearly set the garage roof on fire with the fireworks, Julie escaped by helping her mother clean up. She listened to Roman candles explode over the house from the safety of the kitchen, up to her elbows in dirty dishes.

Eventually she ran out of things to use to avoid the party and went back outside, where the festivities were slowly beginning to wind down. Her father, Buddy, Mr. Street, Billy, and the other coaches were gathered together heatedly discussing football, while nearby, Mindy grilled Tami about whether or not she should send Jordyn to the local Montessori school.

On the other side of the yard, Julie's eyes fell on Tim and Lyla talking privately, their faces illuminated by her mother's patio lanterns.

Julie watched them, unable to look away. She couldn't hear anything they were saying, but the closeness of their bodies and the way Lyla looked up at Tim told her everything she really needed to know.

She sighed, suddenly feeling incredibly weary. Glancing across the patio, she saw Gracie curled up in one of the lawn chairs, fast asleep. She went over, crouching down so she was at her sister's eye level.

"Gracie," she said softly, reaching out and touching her shoulder. The toddler frowned deeply in her sleep before slowly opening her eyes, blinking at Julie.

"Ready for bed?"

Gracie nodded, rubbing her eyes sleepily. Julie smiled.

"Come on," she said, holding out her arms and scooping her little sister up. "Lucky you, you're still small enough to be carried to bed."

Julie slipped between the guests into the house, sneaking away without anyone noticing her. She led Gracie through her bedtime routine, helping her choose between _Dora the Explorer _pyjamas and the pair covered with little roaring lions.

"What story do you want tonight?" Julie asked, perusing Gracie's extensive collection of story books. Julie picked out three, and spread them out in front of Gracie on her bed. "Here, you pick. But just one, okay?"

Julie heard the sound of the front door, and then car and truck engines starting outside the house. She pressed her ear against Gracie's closed bedroom door, listening as the guests began to leave. The Garritys and the Streets and the Rigginses said their goodbyes, as well as the Lions coaching staff. Julie thought that everyone was gone when she heard the sound of a familiar voice in the hallway.

"Hey, Mrs. Taylor, you seen Jules? I, uh, needed to talk to her."

"No, Tim, I haven't. I know she took Gracie Belle off to bed, so they're probably back there having sister time."

"Oh. Okay... I'll just talk to her this week, I guess. Night, Mrs. Taylor. Thanks for having us all over."

"You're welcome, Tim. Goodnight."

"Night, Mrs. Taylor."

Julie listened as the front door closed and silence finally descended on the house. She heard her parents' low voices as they talked in the kitchen. Heaving a deep sigh of relief, she stepped away from the door, and turned back to her sister.

"I think I'm kinda in over my head, Gracie Belle," she said.

Gracie was reclined on her pillow, watching Julie contemplatively. She had chosen one of the books, the other two shoved to the end of her bed.

"_Guess How Much I Love You_? Again?" Julie asked, smiling. "Aren't you tired of that one yet?"

Gracie shook her head.

"_Guess How Much I Love You_ it is," Julie said, picking up the book. Gracie scooted over, making room for her.

Julie opened the book, clearing her throat and turning to the first page.

"Little Nutbrown Hare, who was going to bed, held onto Big Nutbrown Hare's very long ears..."

***

Tim put his truck into reverse and pulled out of Angela Collette's driveway, flashing his lights once at her as she waved from behind the screen door. Tim had dropped Billy, Mindy, and a very cranky Jordyn off first, then drove out of Dillon to take Mrs. Collette home. Pulling out onto the highway, he thought of all the times in high school that he'd driven out to the Collette place to sneak in Tyra's bedroom window, or to hammer on the door and demand that she talk to him after yet another breakup.

He drove down the highway, heading back towards the lights of Dillon. It seemed like he was doomed to spend his life in the dog house with one girl or another. Not that he'd really planned on being with anyone after things ended with Lyla; this whole thing with Jules was unexpected. After Lyla told him she wouldn't be home for the summer, he'd figured on just spending time with his family, not seeing someone new.

Right now, Tim wished Lyla had made good and not come back to Dillon at all.

Their conversation at the barbecue had been brief and awkward, Lyla asking how things were going with Billy and Mindy and the baby and the garage before telling him that New York was great and Jason and Erin said to say hello. She then warily mentioned that she was dating a guy named Brett whom she had met through work. Tim wished her well and that was it; there wasn't really anything else for him to say.

Julie's reaction to the whole thing had him worried. Jules knew it was over between him and Lyla, but in fairness to her, he couldn't pretend he wouldn't feel weird if Saracen suddenly landed back in town. Was she jealous, or had he done something to piss her off? He couldn't tell, and she hadn't even taken the time to yell at him like Tyra would have, dodging him the entire night.

Tim rolled the window down and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

He would understand if Jules called things off. Whatever "things" were between them, anyway. He hoped she didn't, though. Truthfully, Julie was the best thing to happen to him in months.

***

At the sound of Tim's truck pulling into his driveway, Julie sighed. She felt like she had been doing a lot of that lately. All the drama was a bit much for her, and she wished they could go back to how they'd been before they'd even kissed. It wasn't that she was jealous of Lyla or didn't want Tim talking to her because she was just so in love with him that she couldn't stand it. It wasn't anything like that.

No, Julie was simply starting to feel like she couldn't even have this one distraction, this one secret, without things getting all screwed up. She should have known better – Dillon was too small a place for anyone to get away with something like a summer fling without life becoming complicated. Everyone's lives intersected too much for you to keep something to yourself. She knew this, but something along the way had made her forget.

Tim came into the house, setting his keys down and looking over at her with some trepidation on his face.

"Hey," Julie said, leaning back against the kitchen counter with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I'm sorry about Sunday," Tim said, without preamble.

"What are you sorry about?"

"Uh... I don't know. You seemed like you were mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you," Julie huffed.

"So you're jealous, then."

Julie raised an eyebrow at him. "I am not_ jealous_. It was just awkward and weird and... depressing."

Tim nodded, scratching his head. "So does that mean we're done, or...?"

"What? No," Julie said, confused. Her frustration deflated suddenly and she felt self-conscious. "Unless you want it to be. I don't know."

They stood in the foyer staring at one another, neither one knowing what to say.

"Look," Tim said finally, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "I don't know how you feel about it, but here's what I think. We've got, what, six, seven weeks until we have to go back to college? I like you, Jules. If you just wanna be friends, we can be friends. I'm okay with friends. But the sex is pretty great and honestly, I don't see the point in not having great sex when you could be."

For once, Julie was at a loss for words. There was something sort of desperate and pathetic about what he had just said, but on the other hand, he made a compelling point. Both of them were leaving town at the end of the summer, and Lyla showing up was probably an anomaly. No one else would notice or care, as long as they were careful. It's not like they were going to go out on dates to Fran's like they were still in high school, after all. Maybe it could all be fine.

More than anything, Julie wanted to stop thinking and rethinking and overthinking everything.

"How long before Billy gets home?" Julie asked, hoping she sounded nonchalant.

"Maybe an hour," Tim replied, looking at her slyly. "Why?"

Julie nodded. "Jordyn's asleep."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

They stood staring at one another, each waiting for the other to make a move.

"So," Tim said, exhaling a heavy breath, "bedroom?"

Julie blushed, as though that wasn't exactly the question she had been hoping to hear. She nodded.

They went in and closed the door, Tim promising that he'd get up if Jordyn cried, all while pulling her t-shirt over her head, sending her hair flying in every direction.

Jordyn slept on, and they spent an hour in the dusty afternoon sunshine of Tim's bedroom. The disapproving voice in the back of Julie's head (which sounded a bit too much like her mother) never went away entirely. But sometimes, when Tim smiled at her from behind a curtain of messy hair, or when his breath ghosted across her bellybutton, she came very close to thinking about absolutely nothing at all.

Afterwards, they were lying facing each other on the very cusp of sleep when Jordyn began to fuss in the other room, bringing them both back to reality.

"Billy's gonna be home soon," Tim said, his voice reluctant.

"I should go," Julie replied. She sat up and began pulling her clothes back on. Tim stretched and pulled his jeans on, leaving the room to check on Jordyn.

Julie was gathering her things in the living room when she heard a car door slam, and Billy walked in the front door. Tim came out of the master bedroom, shirtless and holding a cranky-looking Jordyn.

"Hey," Billy greeted them, tossing his keys onto a table. His eyebrows drew together in confusion as he noticed Julie standing there. "What are you still doing here?"

"Uh," Julie replied, her mouth hanging open.

"Car trouble," Tim said easily. "I'm just gonna go have a look and then she should be good to go." He handed Jordyn to Billy and walked out the front door without a backwards glance.

Billy and Julie stared at each other for a moment.

"Listen," Billy said, his tone low and conspiratorial, "I've been meaning to say thanks for talking to Tim. He's been way better. When I saw that Lyla was at y'all's place, I thought for sure he was gonna be a mess for at least like, a _week_. But he was totally fine."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. So, whatever you did or said or whatever – thanks. It worked."

Julie gulped, hoping her face didn't look as red as it felt. "No problem."

The front door opened again, and Tim stuck his head in. "All fixed," he said, looking pointedly at Julie.

"Great! See you later, Billy," Julie said, grabbing her things and rushing out the door.

"Later," Billy called after her, sounding somewhat bewildered.

Tim walked her down to her car, which was parked in the street. Julie got in and Tim stood in the middle of the street, barefoot and shirtless, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He watched her silently as she buckled her seatbelt and started the car.

"Thanks for um, fixing my car," Julie said, squinting up at him in the late afternoon light.

"Anytime," he smiled, tilting his head. "So... We good?"

"Yeah," Julie replied. "I think we're good."

"Good."

Julie laughed, despite herself. "See you later, Tim."

"You bet," he said, still smiling at her.

Julie pressed on the gas and pulled away, and Tim turned to watch her go. Julie tried very hard not to glance back at him standing there in her rear view mirror.

It didn't work. She smiled the whole way home.


	10. Chapter 10

"Tim! Tim, get the hell up! Phone's for you – it's long distance."

"Billy, quit shouting! You're gonna wake the baby."

"Damn it, Mindy."

Tim was just sitting up in bed, having been awakened by the shouts of his brother and sister-in-law, when Billy came bursting into his bedroom.

"You could knock, you know," Tim grumbled sleepily.

"Phone's for you," Billy repeated, shoving the cordless at him before stomping out of the room. Glaring at his brother's retreating back, Tim flopped back on his pillows and held the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Nice to hear that some things don't change," came Jason Street's cheerfully mocking voice on the other end. Tim smiled.

"Hey Jay-Six. What's happening?"

"Not a whole lot, Riggs. Erin took Noah over to her parents' so I thought I'd call you up and see what's going on back home."

"You didn't go with 'em?"

"No," Jason said, laughing wryly. "No, Erin's parents aren't real big fans of mine. But they'll come around."

"Oh."

"So, seriously – what's new down south? I'm counting on you to keep me up to date on all the important gossip, Riggs."

"Not much, Streeter. They're fixing up the East Dillon field over the summer. There's a new bartender at Smitty's. She's a redhead, you'd like her. Fran's is getting remodelled but they're keeping your booth for you, 'cause I asked."

"Seriously? You asked?"

"No, I didn't ask."

"You're so full of shit, Riggins," Jason laughed. "What else?"

"Uh, well..." Tim said, scratching his head, "I guess I can tell you this, since it won't matter much to you one way or the other, but I'm kinda having a summer thing with Julie Taylor."

"Julie Taylor," Jason repeated, as though trying to place the name. "As in little Julie Taylor, Coach's daughter? _Riggins_!"

"She's not_ little_," Tim replied resentfully, stretching to nudge his bedroom door closed with his foot so Billy wouldn't hear. "She's a year younger than me. Not even, technically. She just graduated."

"Hm," Jason hummed, considering this. "Did she lose a bet or something?"

Tim sighed, exasperated.

"All right, all right," Jason laughed. "What's the deal, anyway? I thought she was pretty serious with Saracen."

"He went to college last year, and the long-distance thing didn't work out."

"Right, so naturally, she turns around and hooks up with you."

"Kinda, yeah."

"Well, rebounds are always fun."

"I'm not a –" Tim frowned, perturbed by a sense of déjà vu.

"You're not a what, Tim?"

"Not a rebound," he mumbled.

"If you say so. Just be careful, okay? You don't want to get Coach on your bad side. Or Mrs. Taylor for that matter."

"Yeah," Tim replied, still frowning. "How're things up there?"

There was a pause. "Things are good. They're good."

"You sure about that, Streeter?"

"Yeah. It's just, you know, being with someone and raising a kid together... It's harder than it sounds. And there have been layoffs at work, so things are kind of tense right now."

"Mrs. Coach says she still thinks you shoulda gone to college."

"Well, she's not wrong about that," Jason replied, laughing mirthlessly. He paused again before speaking. "You know what's weird about not living in Dillon anymore?"

"What?"

"Before the accident, everyone knew who I was. Everyone. After the accident, people looked at me differently, but they still saw me. I was still Jason Street, you know? Now, everyone I meet is a stranger, and they look right through me. Did you know that people do that? When people see someone in a wheelchair, they either stare right at you like they can't look away, or they avoid looking at you at all so it won't seem like they're staring. Sometimes it's like I'm invisible or something."

Tim wanted to tell Jason he was sorry, tell him something to make him feel better, but he couldn't think of anything to say.

"You know," he said finally, after a long silence, "there's always a spot for you at Riggins' Rigs. Billy and I, well, neither of us is real good at the business end of things, and we could use a guy with a good head on his shoulders. Anytime you want, Jay. I mean it." He half expected Jason to tell him off, but instead, Jason just gave a short, sharp laugh.

"Thanks, Riggs. I may have to take you up on that one."

Another silence followed, and then Jason sighed. "I should go, Riggs. Long distance and all. Gotta call my mom and let her know I'm still alive up here."

"Okay, Jay. Tell your mom I said hey," Tim said.

"I will. Later, Riggs."

"Later, Street."

Tim hung up and dropped the cordless on his bed. Jason sounded lonely. In a strange way, Tim was glad to know he wasn't the only one.

He stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before his rumbling stomach prompted him to get up. He made his way to the kitchen and poured himself some cereal. Mindy had gone into the master bedroom with Jordyn, and Billy was sitting alone at the counter.

Billy cleared his throat and Tim looked up, surprised to see his brother glaring at him.

"What?" he asked, putting the box of cereal down.

Billy stared hard at him, his hands resting on the counter. Tim stared back.

"A 'summer thing' with Julie, Tim? Really?"

"I know what you're gonna say," Tim said, not bothering to call his brother on his eavesdropping.

"Oh yeah?"

"PhD in stupid. Dumbass. This is gonna end badly."

"That about covers it, yeah."

"Look, it's not a big deal, Billy. We're just passing the time until college starts."

"I know I'm not in any position to be dealing out wise life advice, Tim, but think about it. Every time you've told me that sleeping with so-and-so wasn't a big deal, it's turned out to be a big deal. Usually just in time for you to use it as an excuse to go on another bender."

Tim glared at his brother. "No, you're not in any position to be dealing out wise life advice, Billy. As for me and Jules, it's none of your business."

"It's my business while you're living under my roof, damn it."

"Really? We're gonna go down that road again?"

Billy sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands in frustration. "Look, I just wish you'd thought this through a little better. Julie is not-"

"Julie?" Mindy exclaimed, suddenly appearing in the bedroom doorway, Jordyn on her hip. "You have got to be kidding me. A town full of women to screw and you pick_ Julie Taylor_?"

"I'm going to the garage," Tim snapped, abandoning his cereal and going back into his bedroom. He dressed hastily and grabbed his keys, glaring one last time at Billy as he left the house.

Tim's aggravation didn't start to fade until he was out on the country road that led to the shop. The way he was starting to figure things, the less time he spent around people, the better.

***

Jordyn wailed mercilessly as Julie tried to hush her, doing what felt like her three hundredth lap around the Rigginses' living room. Jordyn was teething, and nothing Mindy or her mother had suggested was working. Currently, Julie had an ice cold wash cloth crammed in the baby's mouth. Jordyn gnawed angrily on it, her red face damp with tears.

"Any better?" Julie asked, leaning to look at Jordyn. The baby frowned at Julie and sighed miserably, her whole body shuddering. "I know; I can't possibly understand the depth of your pain."

Rubbing Jordyn's back as her sobs turned into gentle hiccups, Julie wandered into the kitchen. She was starving but it seemed that no one had gone grocery shopping in a while.

"What are we gonna do, Jordyn? What are we gonna do?" Julie cooed, patting her back and meandering back out into the living room. Stopping by the pile of junk mail on the coffee table, Julie spotted a flyer for Alamo Freeze. She stood and stared at the glossy photo of crispy, golden fries, and felt her mouth begin to water.

"I hear short road trips are just the thing for teething babies," Julie said, quickly beginning to pack a small travel bag for Jordyn and grabbing the car seat by the door.

Twenty minutes later, she and Jordyn were cruising down Grant Avenue, the air conditioning in Julie's car on full blast. The change in scenery seemed to be doing Jordyn some good, but Julie had brought along another frozen wash cloth just in case.

She and Jordyn went into the restaurant, and Julie endured a brief pang of nostalgia at the sight of the boy behind the counter, wearing the exact same dorky paper hat Matt used to wear.

Standing in line, she looked up at the menu and chewed her bottom lip contemplatively. It was the lunch hour, and the line was lengthening steadily behind her. A couple of construction workers came in, sweaty and tired, looking relieved just to be inside for a few minutes.

Julie looked back up at the menu. She knew someone else who was probably hungry right about now.

She finally made it up to the counter and ordered, managing to carry the food back to her car without dropping it or the baby. A couple of the customers looked at her a bit strangely, which confused her until she realised that they probably thought that Jordyn was her baby. She rolled her eyes.

Julie drove out onto the highway, sipping her chocolate Swizzler and sneaking fries from the bag of food on the seat beside her. Jordyn was blessedly quiet the entire way, her agony apparently on hold for the time being.

She turned onto a back road, with only a vague idea of where she was heading. A few yards down, a red sign in the shape of a bull told her she was heading in the right direction.

Julie pulled up in front of Riggins' Rigs and parked her car. She scooped Jordyn up out of her car seat in the back, trying to shield her eyes from the bright sunshine. Bypassing the front of the shop, she headed into the garage itself. A familiar pair of long legs were sticking out from under a rusting Cavalier. Tim was singing (if his low, off-key mumbling could be considered singing) along to the battered, duct-taped radio propped on a nearby chair.

"Hey," Julie said, reaching out with a foot and tapping one of Tim's boots. There was a pause, and then he pulled himself out from under the car, squinting. When he saw it was her, his lips curved up into a small, pleased smile. Julie looked away, back over at her car, to hide her own smile.

"Oil need changing?" he asked.

"Jordyn and I were going a little stir crazy, so I thought we'd come over and visit," Julie explained as Tim sat up, cleaning his hands off with a rag.

"Sweet," he replied. "Little Jay can go see her daddy, and you and I can go grab a bite to eat."

"I'm two steps ahead of you, actually," she replied, turning away and walking back towards the car. Opening her door and leaning in, she retrieved the food she'd brought with her. "I got Billy something, too."

Tim followed her, grinning. "You're gonna win him over yet," he said, taking the food off her hands. Julie frowned as Tim took the food into the office. Did she need to win Billy over?

After leaving Jordyn and a spicy chicken sandwich with a delighted Billy, Tim led Julie around the back of the garage to where his truck was parked in the shade of a giant old oak tree. He opened the tailgate and hopped up, patting the truck bed beside him, which was covered with an old tarp. Julie climbed up, accepting the hand he extended her.

They ate in silence for several minutes, sweating in the intense heat and listening to the raspy noise of grasshoppers in the empty meadow behind the garage.

"It's nice back here," Julie said, sipping her Swizzler. "It's very peaceful."

"I love it," Tim replied around a mouthful of fries. "I could spend all my days back here, just sitting."

Julie glanced sideways at Tim, studying him.

"Have you ever read anything by Henry David Thoreau?" she asked.

"Dunno," Tim shrugged. "Did we read him in school?"

"I did, a little, but we had different teachers, so I don't know if you did or not. You should check him out; I think you'd like some of his work."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Tim regarded her for a moment before smiling and looking away, back out at the waving grasses and wildflowers before them.

"People don't usually recommend books to me," he said, after a long pause.

"Do you like to read?" Julie asked.

He smiled at her. "Not really. But thanks anyway."

"Well, I think you'd like him," Julie said, tossing her hair over her shoulder and looking away. "Maybe I'll read something of his to you."

"Like a bedtime story?" he asked, squinting at her.

Julie laughed. "Something like that, sure."

Tim smiled and leaned towards her, cupping her jaw in one hand and pressing his lips against hers.

"Mmm," Julie said, pulling away a moment later. She wrinkled her nose at him. "Burger."

"Sorry," Tim said, not sounding remotely apologetic.

Julie watched as he dug back into his burger with gusto.

"Seriously, though, how can you eat that?"

"What?"

"Your burger."

Tim looked down at his lunch suspiciously. "Something wrong with it?"

"Nothing except that it's the remains of a dead animal."

Tim smiled at her before turning away and taking another bite. "Nah, that doesn't bother me."

Julie shrugged, sipping her Swizzler. "Hey, I've been meaning to tell you. I have to drive down to Houston this week to register for my classes, do all that stuff."

"You can't do it online?"

"I can, but my mom is convinced that we should go down there and check it all out so I'm not overwhelmed when school actually starts," Julie said. "Her words, not mine."

"So she's taking you down there?"

"Yeah, I think it's gonna be like a mother-daughter thing or something. It works out all right, though – we'll be gone for three days but Mindy told me she's not working."

Tim nodded, finishing off his burger and tossing the wrapper into the paper bag sitting between them.

"Thanks for lunch," he said. "That was real sweet."

Julie shrugged, self-conscious. She'd done it on impulse, but bringing him lunch _was_ a pretty girlfriend-y thing to do. He didn't seem bothered, though, judging by the way he stretched back and reclined on the tarp in the back of the truck, closing his eyes and groaning.

"You gonna sit all the way over there, or are you gonna relax and get some sun?" Tim asked, his voice low and sleepy.

Julie looked at him, lying back with his hands behind his head.

"I'm not really wearing my best sunbathing clothes," she remarked.

"Whatever. Come here."

Julie moved and laid back next to him, closing her eyes against the filtered sunlight that came through the tree which shaded them. She relaxed as the warmth of the sun began to soak into her skin. Tim's arm came down and around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

It was a long time before either felt the need to speak again.

***

Two days later, Tim was on his way home from the garage, trying to think of a way to get Julie alone for more than an hour before she left for Houston. Billy would be home at the usual time until he went to pick up Mindy from work, and even though they both knew what was going on, Tim wanted some privacy for once. He loved Jordyn and Mindy both, but the Riggins household had gotten a lot more crowded in the last year. Besides, Julie had no idea that Billy and Mindy knew, so she probably wouldn't be real keen to be alone with them in the house.

Shifting gears as he pulled off the main drag and into his neighbourhood, Tim had a thought. They could go for a drive, couldn't they?

He arrived a few minutes later, parking his truck in the driveway. The sky above was blue and cloudless, and it promised to be a nice night, warm and breezy. Tim knew just the place to take her.

He entered to find Julie reading on the couch, and Jordyn playing quietly in her playpen.

"Hey," Julie said, not taking her eyes from her book.

"Hey," Tim replied, dropping his keys and heading over to say hello to Jordyn. "How was your day?"

"Same old. Yours?"

"Not bad," he said, walking to the kitchen to get a beer. "Listen, you're heading to Houston with your mom tomorrow, right?"

"Right."

Tim nodded, considering this. "Billy shouldn't be too much longer. Wanna go for a drive once he gets here?"

Julie frowned. "Won't that seem kind of weird?"

"Nah. He doesn't really care what I do."

Julie stared at him for a moment, looking confused, but didn't press the issue. She sat up, tucking a bookmark into her novel and setting it aside. They watched TV until Billy got home, Julie insisting on sitting alone in the chair rather than with him on the couch.

For Julie's benefit, Tim fed Billy some bullcrap about taking her to pick up an antique cabinet for her mom. Billy just rolled his eyes at Tim behind Julie's back and changed the channel to baseball.

They drove out to the cliffs on the western edge of town, although Tim was disappointed to see that the tumultuous prairie sky was beginning to darken, clouds gathering on the horizon.

As he parked the truck, Julie gave a short little huff of laughter and he turned to see her smirking at him.

"Is this like, your version of lover's lane or something?" she asked, glancing out the windshield at the cliffs. A few tiny raindrops spattered the glass.

"Nope," Tim shrugged. "I like to come out here when I need a little me time."

"A little you time? Why'd you bring me out here, then?" Julie was watching him, her voice amused. The rain fell harder, rattling noisily on the truck roof. So much for showing off his golf skills.

"Just wanted some privacy before you take off on me for three days."

"Take off on you?" Julie repeated. Tim sent her a sidelong glance. She was smiling, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. It bugged him when she said one thing but it seemed like maybe she meant something else, like she was probably making fun of him.

Not knowing what to say, Tim went with merely staring across the cab at her, pinning her there with his gaze, until she blushed and looked away, out the windshield, which was quickly growing foggy with their breath.

"Come here," Tim said softly, leaning closer to her. She looked back at him, her dark eyes watching him uncertainly. She shifted over until she was close enough to him that he could count the light freckles dusted across her nose. He smiled, leaning in to press his lips against hers.

They kissed that way for a while, gently, while listening to the sound of the rain. Julie shrugged off her unzipped hoodie and pulled him close by the lapels of his shirt. Tim slid his hands down her arms and sides to her front, giving the waistband of her jeans an impatient tug.

"Hold on," Julie breathed, sitting up and kicking off her shoes and jeans. Tim pulled her towards him, into his lap, wedged between his body and the steering wheel. Good thing his truck was roomy.

"Um, this is kinda... exposed," Julie whispered, the last word coming out in a breathless sigh as Tim pressed a kiss to her bare clavicle. Tim glanced up to see her looking worriedly out the driver's side window.

"No one comes out here except me and the jackrabbits, and even if someone did come by, the windows are all fogged up."

"Right, because _that's _not a dead giveaway."

"You know what they say. If the truck's rocking..." he said, laughing as he was interrupted by the sharp pinch Julie delivered to his side. Done abusing him, Julie pressed her lips to his again, breaking the kiss only to tug her shirt over her head. Sliding a hand down, she popped the button of his fly, her warm fingers brushing against him. He jerked, shivering at her gentle touch.

Reaching for her bag on the seat, she found a condom and rolled it onto his hard cock. Tim grunted, watching her serious face as she shifted her hips, wrapping her hand firmly around him. Julie Taylor was starting to surprise him.

"Always come prepared, huh?" he whispered.

She looked up at him, her eyes round and her cheeks flushed. Her brow creased, and she opened her mouth as though she was going to say something. Instead, she leaned in and kissed him firmly, taking him inside her with one awkward movement. Tim's head fell back against the back window with a thud. He buried his hands in her hair, groaning as she rolled her hips into his.

It went on that way, slow and silent and strangely tense, each of them breathing the other's air, Julie's eyes squeezed shut and Tim's wide open.

He watched her, loving the way she trembled and caught her lip in her teeth as she came, her hands gripping the back of the seat as she choked out a soft moan. He followed right after, holding her close and breathing hard against the sweat of her skin.

It was close and damp in the truck, and Tim could feel sweat rolling down his back. He reached over and rolled his window down, allowing the fresh, rain-washed air into the truck. Julie sighed and leaned into him, her head dropping to his shoulder.

"Hey," Tim said gruffly, nudging her.

"Hm?" He had discovered that he was fond of her when she was like this, right afterwards, when some of her attitude rubbed off and she became sleepy and a little sweet.

"Remember the last time we got caught up in a storm?"

He felt her smile against his neck. "Yeah. My hero." She shivered against him, and Tim felt goose bumps rise on her arms.

"Cold?"

"No," Julie said quietly. "Well, a little. I feel very... naked."

A beat. "You _are_ naked, Jules."

She gave a tired little laugh. "I know."

"Here," Tim said, groping sluggishly across the dim cab to find her shirt. He helped her pull it back over her head, a little sorry to watch her bare skin disappear.

She shifted out of his lap and Tim watched as she retrieved the rest of her clothes from the floor and slowly put herself back together.

"We should probably get back," Julie said, running a hand over her messy hair. "I'm sure Billy already thinks this is totally weird."

Tim couldn't help himself, and chuckled.

"What's funny?" Julie asked.

"Nothing. I mean... Billy knows, Jules."

She blinked at him, her face colouring. "He does?"

"Yeah, he kinda overheard me talking to Street, and then Mindy heard us talking-"

"Street? As in Jason Street? You told Jason?" Julie squeaked, her voice rising. "Wait – _Mindy_ knows? Tim!"

"What?" Tim laughed. "What's the big deal?"

"Oh my god," Julie groaned, burying her face in her hands. "This is so embarrassing."

"What's so embarrassing about it?" Tim asked, frowning.

"I'm the babysitter, Tim. It's just... It's_ gross_. And clichéd."

"Gross and clichéd," Tim repeated.

"I don't mean you," Julie grumbled.

"Yeah." They regarded each other silently for a moment before Julie sighed wearily and looked out the windshield, her arms crossed over her chest. Tim started the truck, and they drove back into Dillon without speaking. The rain fell noisily the entire way, making talking pretty pointless, anyway.

Tim turned onto his street and pulled up alongside Julie's car, letting the engine idle.

"So," Julie said, looking across the cab at him, "see you in a few days?"

"See you in a few days," he replied.

Tim was about to lean in to kiss her goodbye, but she turned away, hopping out of the truck and into the rain. She dashed across the rain-washed street and into her car. Tim watched through the bleary windows as her headlights lit up, and she pulled away, disappearing into the night.

He stayed put, and didn't move to pull into the driveway until someone else turned onto the street, and honked.


	11. Chapter 11

Julie stared out her window at the fields passing by as her mother drove northwest, headed back to Dillon. She had successfully rebuffed her mother's concerned looks for the last two hours, but as they bypassed Austin, she was starting to think that her success was not going to last.

"Julie, honey, I know you don't feel like talking, but you've got me kinda worried, here."

Fidgeting, Julie glanced at her mother. Tami's eyes were obscured by her aviator sunglasses, but Julie knew her mother well enough to recognize the anxiety in the furrowing of her brow and the pursing of her lips.

"I'm fine, mom," Julie said, turning back to her window.

"I just thought you'd be more excited, is all."

"I _am _excited. I'm just... nervous, I guess. I don't know," she trailed off, failing to put into words everything she was feeling.

The past two days had been strange. They had spent most of their time exploring the expansive campus of Rice University, which was heavily treed and crammed with too many buildings for Julie to even pretend to recall. There were dozens of museums and galleries – not to mention restaurants that served something other than barbecue – near the university, whetting her appetite for the culture which she had so desperately craved during her years in Dillon.

The actual process of registering for her classes, however, had not been what she expected. She waited for two hours in a long line of students before finally sitting down on a hard plastic chair in front of the apathetic junior seated behind the counter. Upon handing over the schedule she'd made for herself, Julie was informed that half the classes she'd painstakingly chosen were already full. Taken aback, she scrambled through the university calendar to find alternates, and then alternates for her alternates, as the student across from her sighed and picked at her fingernails.

In the end, Julie walked away with a schedule for her first year of college which only vaguely resembled the one that she'd originally chosen, and which was filled with classes she wasn't sure she even wanted to take.

Julie felt embarrassed at her naiveté just thinking about it.

That night, her mother took her out to eat at a little vegetarian cafe in downtown Houston, near their hotel. Julie picked listlessly at her tofu buffalo "wings" and tried to participate in the conversation, aware that she was visibly moping in the middle of a restaurant. Mercifully, her mother did not comment.

Julie fell asleep that night still feeling insecure and disappointed, listening to her mother talk softly on the phone to her father while _Overboard_ played on the TV.

She had a dream where she was told on the first day of classes that there had been a mistake and she hadn't actually been accepted at Rice, forcing her to return to Dillon and take a job as Buddy Garrity's secretary. In the dream, Tim felt sorry for her and offered to marry her, but on the day of their wedding, he remembered that he had to go back to college and left, leaving her to clean up all the confetti on her own.

Julie woke up that morning with a frown on her face. That was not the kind of Tim-related dream she enjoyed.

While her mother was in the shower, Julie dressed and packed up her things, relieved to leave Houston behind and head back to Dillon, and trying not to think too much about what _that _meant. She felt confused and tired, and she badly wanted to just stop worrying about everything. On an impulse, she picked up her phone and sent a quick text to Tim.

_Can't wait until after babysitting tomorrow. Are you free tonight?_

Driving back to Dillon, she hadn't heard back from him yet, but she didn't care. It had given her a sweet, distracting thrill to send it, and that was good enough.

"Okay, sweetie," her mom said, bringing her back to reality. "I can't force you to tell me what's bugging you. But you know I'm here for you, right? Whatever it is, we can talk about it."

"I know, mom," Julie replied.

"All right," Tami sighed. She leaned back in her seat, adjusting the air conditioner. "Tell you what. We'll drive as far as Brady, stop and have some lunch, and then you're taking over. Gotta take advantage of having you drive me around for as long as I can."

The sound of her phone's high-pitched chirp stopped her from responding. Digging around in the bag at her feet, she retrieved it and flipped it open.

_**NEW MESSAGE FROM TIM**_

Julie blushed, and opened the message. _sounds good. come over when u can. so what r u wearing rite now?_

She snapped the phone shut in her palm, dropping it back into her bag. Off her mother's curious look, she merely shrugged and went back to looking out the window.

***

Tim whistled to himself as he swept the shop floor, pushing the dirt and grit into a somewhat tidy pile in the middle of the concrete floor. It was late afternoon, almost time for him to go home, and he was feeling happy and restless.

The last few days had been pretty lonely and boring without Julie around. Billy and Mindy and Jordyn were okay company, but kind of dull. Getting Julie's text message earlier and knowing he was going to see her that night had lifted his spirits considerably, despite the fact that she hadn't yet responded to his question.

Billy appeared in the doorway that led from the garage to the office.

"Mrs. Werner's bringing in that old Buick of hers again. Something wrong with the brakes, now, she says. You mind taking a look at it before you take off?"

"Sure," Tim said, leaning on the broom handle. "Can I ask you a favour?"

"What is it?" Billy asked, somewhat warily.

"Think you and Mindy could go out tonight? Julie's back from Houston and I was kinda hoping we could have the place to ourselves."

Billy stared at him for a moment, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Where do you think this is going, Tim?"

"Where what's going?"

"This thing with Julie. What do you think is gonna happen there?"

Tim shrugged, taking a step back and pushing the broom aimlessly across the floor again. "I dunno. We're just fooling around."

"Fooling around is one thing. Call me crazy, but when _you_ fool around with one girl on a regular basis, it usually means you're not just fooling around."

"I like her. So what?"

"So what? Tim, in a few weeks, she's going away to college. You're going back to San Antonio. What do you think is gonna happen then?"

"Thought we already went over this, Billy. You got anything new to say?"

"Yeah, how about this – Julie Taylor is just another Lyla Garrity. She's slumming, and you're falling for it, and all she's gonna do is leave you high and dry and all messed up again."

Tim glared at his brother for a moment before letting the broom fall to the floor with a sharp thwack.

"Tell you what," he said. "Why don't _you_ take a look at Mrs. Werner's brakes? See you later."

Tim left the garage, getting into his truck and pulling away before Billy could stop him. He drove home the long way.

***

Julie silently fretted her way through the rest of the ride home, listless and unsettled. She pulled out her phone several times to reply to Tim's text, but she couldn't work up the nerve. Besides, wasn't swapping dirty texts, however tempting it might be, sort of juvenile and gross? The last thing she needed was evidence of this – whatever _this _was – lying around.

She managed to get away from her parents after dinner, when her mother passed out from exhaustion on the couch and her father took advantage by putting on some game tape and using Tami as a pillow.

Her parents would be kind of cute if they weren't so embarrassing.

Julie drove to Tim's, trying to stifle the anxious, fluttery feeling in her stomach. What was she nervous about? She frowned, trying to get a rein on herself.

When Tim opened the front door, he was grinning. Julie couldn't help but smile back at him, slipping past him into the house.

"I got rid of Billy and Mindy and the baby, but they're just at Mrs. Collette's, so they're not gonna be gone all night," Tim explained, closing the door behind them and following her into the house.

"That's okay," Julie replied. They looked at one another for an awkward stretch, and Julie was about to say something just to fill the silence when he turned away and walked into the kitchen. He retrieved two beers and took them into the living room, stretching out on the couch. Hesitating a moment, Julie followed him, sitting down on the other end of the couch. She took the beer he offered her, her fingers slippery against the sweaty glass.

"So, how was Houston? You and your mom tear it up? Did you take pictures?"

"It was okay," Julie replied, not finding herself in the mood to joke around.

"Yeah? You missed me, huh?"

Julie shot him a withering glance before responding. "I guess it just really wasn't what I expected."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know," Julie sighed, blowing her bangs up out of her eyes and glumly examining the beer in her hand. "I mean, you line up for like ten hours and then you go and sit with this person who doesn't care at all what you're interested in or what you're passionate about. They just take your schedule and then plug you in wherever they can find space. _If _they can find space. It doesn't matter if it works for you or who the professor is. I mean, I know they have to register thousands of students and it just is what it is. But it felt kind of soulless and bureaucratic, you know? I was just another student number to be rubber stamped. It was practically _Kafkaesque_ or something," Julie said with an accompanying grimace.

Tim blinked, staring at her blankly for a moment before looking down. "That sucks," he said simply.

Julie felt her heart squeeze strangely. She felt guilty for the first thought that popped into her mind: _Matt would have gotten that._

"There anything I can do?" Tim asked. Julie looked up, and found no trace of innuendo in his expression. He really meant it, like a friend would mean those words.

Or a boyfriend. Julie blanched.

"Uh, no," Julie replied with a laugh. "That's really not necessary."

Tim frowned at her, looking confused.

"I mean, it's not like you're my _boyfriend_," Julie babbled, feeling her face begin to redden. "It's not your _job_ to make me feel better, I'm just telling you what happened, because you asked."

Tim watched her for another beat before clearing his throat. "I was just-"

"We're both in love with other people," Julie blurted, trying to be matter-of-fact. Instead, it merely sounded sad. "I just mean, you know, that's not what this is about. Right?"

Tim didn't reply, continuing to watch her silently as she rambled.

"I mean... I don't think we have that much in common, really," Julie said quietly.

"We have us in common," Tim replied.

"There isn't an _us_. This isn't an _us_ thing. This is... This is a summer fling."

Tim looked at her for a second, his brows drawn together in a frown. Then he scoffed, his smile humourless.

"What?" Julie asked.

"Billy's right," Tim said, his voice tight. Julie looked over at him, and was surprised to see the anger in his expression. "I must be the dumbest guy in town. This is just the same thing all over again, having a stupid fling with a gal I'm never gonna be good enough for."

"What?" Julie gasped. "That's not what I-"

"I know I don't get what you're talking about sometimes, Jules. I'm not _that _stupid. Pretty easy to tell from the look on your face."

Julie gaped at him, his words like a punch in the chest.

"I'm not him, Jules," he said, his voice soft and sad. "I don't care if this is just your rebound, I really don't, but I ain't ever gonna be Matt for you."

Julie felt sick and ashamed, and so she did the only thing she could think of to do: she grabbed her bag and stomped out of the house and to her car without looking back.

***

They went one week without speaking more than a handful of words to one another.

The first day Julie babysat after their fight, she was waiting by the front door when Tim got home. He came in silently, tossing his keys at the table by the door.

They stood without speaking, Tim glowering at the tiles under his feet. Julie glared at his downturned head before shouldering her bag.

"Jordyn's asleep in the bedroom," she bit out, brushing past him. She refused to acknowledge the lump that rose in her throat when he let her close the door behind her, and didn't follow.

On Thursday, Mindy didn't work and Julie was able to avoid Tim altogether. Tyra called her that evening after dinner, and Julie listened to her tales of life as a working girl in the city somewhat distractedly.

"So that's when I said, sure, why not?" Tyra said, in the middle of a story Julie wasn't paying much attention to. "Being a successful businessman's kept woman is bound to be way more lucrative than working my way up typing letters and sending faxes."

"Mmm-hmm," Julie replied. She frowned. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah, I didn't think you were listening."

"Oh god, I'm sorry. I'm kind of distracted tonight, I guess."

"I picked up on that. What's bugging you?"

"Well..." Julie hesitated. Was it better to wallow alone, or to share, knowing that Tyra was likely to lose her mind, and that she could be kind of scary when she was angry? "Um, you know that thing I wasn't telling you when you were here?"

"I was wondering when we'd get around to that," Tyra said drily. "What's up?"

"You have to promise not to freak out. Or yell at me. Or come up here and try to kill anyone."

"Okay, now you're starting to worry me. What's going on, Jules?"

"I slept with Tim. I am sleeping with Tim. Sort of."

There was a long silence on the other end of the line before Tyra spoke. When she did, her voice was low and terribly calm. "Are you kidding me right now?"

"No," Julie replied, her voice small.

"Oh my god."

"I know."

"Oh my _god_, Julie! Are you sick or something? What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Hey, you promised not to yell!"

"Like hell I did! When did this happen? _How _did this happen?"

Meekly, Julie gave Tyra a brief synopsis of her relationship, such as it was, with Tim.

"Wow. That's a lot to swallow."

"Yeah," Julie agreed, somewhat bleakly. "So basically I've managed to take what should have been a totally uneventful summer and turn it into this big, dramatic... _thing_."

"What do you want to do?"

"Um, leave Dillon and change my name?"

Tyra guffawed. "Short of that, I mean. What do you want to do about Tim? Do you want to fix things, or just ignore him and fly low until you leave town?"

Julie chewed her lip. It would be easy, if awkward, to effectively call it quits and pretend nothing had ever happened between them. She could do avoidance, even in the cramped quarters of Dillon. But something about that didn't sit right with her. She felt oddly guilty, first of all, and second, the thought of going without Tim's quiet, easy company left her feeling bereft.

"I think I want to try to fix things," she said softly.

"So... do you like him, or do you just like having sex with him?"

Julie's face reddened as she stared up at the ceiling, groping for a response to that question.

"Quit blushing and answer the question. Anyway, you're talking to the right person. It's kinda hard to tell the difference with him."

Trying not to add to her worries by contemplating that she was having sex with someone who Tyra (and allegedly half the town, her mind added unhelpfully,) had slept with, Julie considered this, too. Did she like Tim, or just like having sex with Tim? She certainly did like having sex with him; she liked it to distraction. But what about him?

Hadn't they become friends, before anything else? Hadn't she sought him out when she was lonely and bored, because his company cheered her up? Didn't he make her smile, make her laugh? He'd been there for her, in his own quiet, unassuming way, since the moment their lives started to intersect.

It wasn't love, but it wasn't just sex, either.

"Yeah, I think I like him."

"All right, well... Do you want me to be real honest?"

"Yes," Julie replied, somewhat hesitantly.

"Okay, well... As much as it pains me to say these words, and believe me, it _really_ does, Tim's got a point. You can be kind of... self-righteous sometimes."

Julie didn't reply, stunned into silence. Tyra had never said anything like that to her before, and it hurt.

"You come by it honestly," Tyra said softly, trying to cushion the blow. "Most of the time it's a good thing. You know your own mind. But... I don't know."

"What? You might as well say it."

"Sometimes it just comes off a little judgey, Jules. That's all."

Julie stared up at her bedroom ceiling, unable to form a reply. Did she really come off as judgemental? She thought she came off as intelligent and witty. Was she actually just snobby? She felt her face colour with embarrassment. Had she said things that had hurt Tim's feelings? Matt's feelings? Tyra's or Landry's or her parents'?

"It's getting late," she said woodenly. "I should probably go to bed."

"Julie, come on. I didn't say that to hurt you. Don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad, I'm just... I don't know. I'm sorry."

"It's not like I've never done the same thing, Jules."

"Yeah."

"Look, I'm only saying this because you said you wanted to fix things with him. God only knows why; my advice is to take this as a sign and run for it. But I'll give you an insider tip: Tim's sensitive, and he gets his feelings hurt pretty easily. Lucky for you, he forgives just as easily."

"Okay," Julie said. "I'll think of something. Thanks, Tyra."

"Any time. This one was free, but the next one's gonna cost you," she joked. There was a pause before she spoke again, her voice softer this time. "You okay? You're not mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you."

"Okay. Because if you're mad at me and you don't call me for a couple of weeks, I'm going to know, and then iI'm/i going to be mad, and that just seems like way too much drama."

Julie smiled sadly. "I promise I'm not mad at you."

"All right then. Talk to you later?"

"Talk to you later."

Julie hung up, dropping the phone onto the bed next to her. She rolled over, curling up into a ball. Staring at the low shelf of books across from her bed, she went over the conversation she'd just had.

Looking back, Julie had to admit that nothing Tyra had said was untrue. She said things without thinking, sometimes. Mean things. Even worse, sometimes she said mean things on purpose. She wasn't sure why. Maybe because sitting in judgment of Dillon and everyone in it made it easier to avoid being pulled into the town, made it easier to get away. Maybe because it made her feel less like a square peg in a round hole, and more like she was above it all.

Maybe because pretending like she didn't care was safer than being honest and taking the risk of getting hurt.

She stood up and grabbed her keys and her bag off her bureau, leaving her bedroom and walking out into the family room. Her parents were watching TV, and Gracie was playing quietly on the floor.

"Hey guys," she said. Her mother turned to look at her, but her father's attention stayed focused on the TV. "I've got a major craving for a chocolate Swizzler. Anyone else want something?"

"No thanks, hon," her mother replied, smiling at her. "Thanks for the offer, though."

"No problem. I'll be back in a bit."

Julie left the house and drove past the Alamo Freeze and Fran's, taking in the crowds of high school kids crowding the tables and booths and parking lots of both. She rolled her window down, letting the breeze into the car to disturb the stifling heat. She tried to calm her pounding heart and cool herself down.

She tried to think of what she was going to say.

***

The knock came in the middle of an episode of_ Hell's Kitchen_, and Tim was chosen to answer it by virtue of the fact that neither Mindy nor Billy batted an eyelash at the sound of it. They were stretched out on the couch, completely absorbed in the kitchen drama. Grumbling, Tim put his beer down on the coffee table with a loud thump, and went to answer the door.

He didn't know who he'd been expecting, but Julie took him by surprise. She stood on the concrete stoop, her hands tugging anxiously on the hem of her t-shirt. She gulped, and Tim was reminded of another time she had shown up on his doorstep, looking sheepish.

"Hey," she said, looking up at him. "Can I come in?"

He stepped aside to let her pass, unsure whether to close the door behind her or not. He didn't want to let her think that she was welcome to just waltz in and hang out right now. After several seconds, he sighed and closed the door.

Billy and Mindy greeted her distractedly, and Julie turned and looked up at him. He gave her a wide berth, standing back with his hands on his hips.

"Look – can we talk for a minute? In private?" she asked softly. Tim looked at her, taking in the miserable expression on her face. He nodded and led her back to his bedroom, closing the door behind them.

"I know you're mad at me," Julie began.

"I'm not –" Tim interrupted.

"No, please, let me finish. I know you're mad at me. You have every right to be, and I totally understand if you hate me now and you never want to talk to me again. I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. I never meant to do that. I swear, I really didn't."

Tim looked away, surprised and unsure how to respond. He wasn't accustomed to having girls apologise to him; usually it was the other way around.

"And I don't expect you to be Matt. I don't want you to be. I want you to be _you_. I like you."

Tim stared at the carpet underneath their feet, quietly pleased but hesitant to show it.

"I'm sorry I'm so judgmental. I don't mean to be. I don't _want _to be. It's just... I feel so alone," she continued, her words coming out in a rush. Tim looked up, hearing the distress in her voice. "I love Dillon; it's my home. But I don't get this place, and a lot of the time it feels like no one here gets _me_. Especially now that my friends are all gone, that Matt's gone. Everyone's gone. I got left behind, and I thought that college was going to be the answer, but now I just don't know. I feel like I don't know anything anymore." Julie's voice broke on her last words, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Come here," Tim said, stepping forward and pulling her into a hug. Julie pressed her face into his chest. He frowned, petting her hair awkwardly. He hadn't realised that he'd upset her so badly. He floundered, trying to think of something to say to get her to stop crying.

"Jules, listen. You're gonna get out of here and meet all kinds of people who get you, I bet. You'll see. You're gonna go to college, and it'll be great, and you're gonna love it. You aren't stuck in Dillon." He was trying to make her feel better, but it didn't seem to be working. She shuddered and cried harder, her hands gripping his shirt tightly. Words failed him, so he stopped talking, settling instead for gently rubbing her back. Tim had no idea how long they stood like that, Julie sniffling quietly and Tim stroking the long fall of her hair like he had any clue what he was doing.

Eventually Julie stopped crying. She sighed and pulled away from him, blinking as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. Her eyes were swollen and red, and her nose looked damp. Other girls could make crying look pretty, but Julie just made it look real.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "You must think I'm so lame."

"You okay?" he asked, somewhat wary. He was afraid to say anything, in case she went off again.

"I'm okay," she said. "I really am sorry." Tim nodded to show he understood and accepted her apology. She stared up at him, biting her bottom lip. Tim could still feel the damp spot on his shirt where her tears had soaked in. Julie took a step forward and kissed him, her breath brushing his face as she exhaled heavily.

Tim understood the language her kisses spoke. He turned them and pushed gently until Julie hit his bed with the backs of her knees. She leaned back, gripping a hand in his shirt and pulling him along with her.

"You sure?" Tim whispered against her neck as she pulled his t-shirt over his head and reached for his belt buckle. "Billy and Mins are still watching TV."

"Don't care," Julie said, shimmying out of her jeans while trying to maintain contact.

That was all the encouragement Tim needed – he knelt on the bed and kissed Julie again, running his hands up her sides and under her shirt, pulling it up and over her head.

She kissed him back and brought their bodies together with a fierce intensity she'd never shown him before, her eyes dark and serious, hands shaking. He could tell she was trying to make it better, to make amends and say she was sorry with actions to match her words.

Tim was unaccustomed to anyone making amends for the pain they inflicted. To him, it wasn't necessary. But he let her, anyway. He let her.

After, they laid facing one another, sweat-drenched and panting. Julie was watching him closely, her eyes anxious. Tim reached out and brushed her hair away from her hot, flushed face, and he smiled at her. She smiled back, and looked away.

A yawn caught her by surprise, and she buried her face in the pillow trying to stifle it. "It's getting late. I should probably go."

"I guess," Tim replied. Julie stared silently at him for a long moment before she spoke again. He felt strangely calm under her scrutiny, and didn't look away.

"I really am sorry," she said, edging closer to him. "I didn't mean to... I don't want to be the kind of person who makes you feel bad about yourself. You believe me, right?"

She watched him uneasily, her sleepy eyes still rimmed with red from her tears. How could he not believe her? He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Quit apologising," he said. "I've got a thick skin."

Julie smiled at him, her expression indicating that she disagreed, but said nothing. She sat up and began gathering her clothes and slowly pulling them back on.

"You know what?" Tim asked, his tone casual as he watched her naked back disappear beneath her t-shirt. He wanted to go back to the easygoing thing they had before all this other stuff happened. Her reaction to their fight had been extreme, and he wanted to make sure she knew he wasn't mad.

"What?" Julie replied, twisting to look back at him.

"You never answered me."

"Answered you? About what?"

"About what you were wearing when I texted you."

Julie snorted, and turned away. "I was _naked_, Tim. I started out in a tiny bikini when we left Houston, but it was too much. I was completely naked the whole ride home. It was just _so hot_," she finished, turning and grinning at him, her face half-hidden by her long hair.

Tim grinned back, pleased that her mood had brightened. "So you really didn't take any pictures, huh?"

She laughed, and Tim felt his heart jump, leaving a tight, breathless feeling in his chest. Judging by the amount of time Julie spent sulking and scowling, Tim guessed she had no idea how absolutely adorable she was when she was like this.

He watched her as she finished dressing, surprising him when she knelt on the bed and leaned in to kiss him once, sweetly and quickly, before slipping out of the room.

As he fell asleep that night, he wondered how he got lucky enough to be one of the few people to whom Julie showed her true colours, light and dark.


	12. Chapter 12

It was one of the rare nights when Mindy was working and Billy had chosen to spend the evening drinking and watching her dance, rather than drinking and watching ESPN with Tim.

This meant that Tim and Julie could spend the evening together instead of Julie taking off before Billy got home. Ever since Tim had told her that Billy knew what was going on, Julie had avoided the older Riggins, feeling a little embarrassed about the whole situation.

"You want another beer?" Tim asked, his voice rumbling next to her head. They were stretched out on the couch watching baseball, of all things, but Julie was too hot and tired from a shift at Applebee's followed by an afternoon with a cranky, teething Jordyn to bother objecting.

"Please," Julie replied, sitting up. She stretched her bare legs out in front of her, resting her heels on the coffee table. She had a theory that Tim's languid laziness was beginning to rub off on her.

"Here," Tim said, appearing at her side and pressing a cold bottle of beer against her naked calf. She jumped at the contact and took it from him, glaring.

"Very mean," she said, reclining back on the couch and keeping her feet on the table. Tim sat down next to her, staring intently at her foot.

"What?" she asked, glancing up at him.

"This is cute," he said, leaning forward and wrapping a warm hand around her ankle. Julie shivered. Tim was peering curiously down at her heart tattoo. Suddenly self-conscious, she gently tugged her foot away.

"It's not a big deal," she mumbled.

"When'd you get that?"

"Um, beginning of eleventh grade?" she replied.

"Bet your parents didn't like that," he mused.

"Not really, but they came around." She glanced over at him. "How come you don't have any? You seem like the tattoo type to me."

"Dunno," he said. "Never thought of anything that meant enough to bother, I guess."

"What about a little football?" Julie asked, teasing. "Or a number 33? Or a panther paw?"

"Kinda pathetic, tattooing your high school football stuff on yourself."

"Other people might see it that way, maybe," Julie said, although she had just been teasing him. "But if it means something to you, that's what really matters, right? Who cares if other people don't get it?"

"Yeah. Maybe I'll get one sometime when I have some extra cash," he said. He glanced over at her. "Got any other tattoos in interesting places I oughta know about?"

"If I did, you probably would have seen them by now," Julie scoffed.

Tim narrowed his eyes lasciviously at her. Julie giggled. "I'm really glad you haven't noticed the little 'I heart Tim Riggins' banner over my heart. That could have been super embarrassing."

"Only fair, since I've got your name tattooed on my ass," Tim shrugged, taking a swig of his beer and turning back to the baseball game.

Silence fell between them and Julie leaned comfortably into his side, sipping her beer. Was it her fault that Tim was so surprisingly cuddly?

"Hey," he said during the next commercial, not taking his eyes off the screen. "Stay the night, okay?"

Julie looked up at him, but he didn't meet her eyes. It was such a quiet, direct request, Julie didn't know how to refuse without making things awkward or perhaps hurting his feelings. What was the big deal, anyway? Why did her mind jump automatically to wanting to refuse? She bit her bottom lip.

"Okay," she said finally. They grew quiet once again, drinking their beers and zoning out in companionable silence. Finally, Julie couldn't keep her eyes open anymore, and the next thing she knew, the TV was off and Tim was nudging her gently.

"Jules, come on. I checked on Jordyn, she's still sound asleep. Let's hit the hay." He left her, disappearing into his bedroom.

Groggily, Julie stood and looked around for her bag, spotting it on the kitchen counter. She went over and pulled her phone out, chewing anxiously on her bottom lip. There were already two missed calls, both from home. She didn't have the heart to call her mother right now and lie to her. She flipped the phone open and began recklessly typing out a text message with her thumb: _Babysitting emergency. Staying overnight. See you tomorrow!_

Before she could think better of it, Julie hit "send" and then turned the phone off, tossing it back into her bag. She followed Tim into his bedroom, and closed the door behind her.

Julie stood awkwardly by his bed, unsure what to do with herself. They'd had sex in his room enough times, but somehow actually sleeping together was different. It was intimate.

"I don't have anything to sleep in," Julie said.

Tim glanced around, his eyes landing on a basket of clean laundry by his battered, mostly empty dresser. "Here," he said, grabbing a worn old Panthers t-shirt, its grey fabric softened by numerous washings.

Tim began to strip off his clothes, and Julie hurriedly turned around to remove her own, pulling his shirt on over her head. It was big on her, but still didn't cover as much as she might have liked. Embarrassed, she tugged at its hem, trying to pull it lower on her thighs.

She stopped when she caught Tim watching her, his eyes amused.

"Cute," Tim said, climbing into bed. Julie raised an eyebrow at him. Apparently Tim's idea of pyjamas was a pair of black boxer briefs and nothing else. He leaned back against the pillows and smirked at her. Ignoring his smug look, Julie climbed in next to him.

She had thought this was the point where sex would come in, but instead, Tim just settled back against his pillows and sighed, pulling her against his chest. She rested her head on his shoulder and felt his breathing slow, her own body tense.

"Relax," Tim muttered, his arm wrapping around her back.

"Sorry," she replied, closing her eyes and concentrating on relaxing.

"Don't say sorry, just chill out and go to sleep, Jules," Tim said. Julie heard rather than saw the smile that accompanied his words.

They fell silent, and a few minutes later, Julie heard Tim begin to snore softly. She opened her eyes and glanced up at him. Asleep, there was something terribly sweet about him; he looked a far cry from the boy once notorious in Dillon for hard hits and hard drinking. Smiling, she stretched her arm across his bare stomach and closed her eyes once more. She fell asleep.

Julie was awoken a few hours later by the familiar sound of Jordyn crying. Foggily, she listened for a moment before realising that no one was getting up. Billy and Mindy must not be home yet. She shifted, frowning at the heavy weight she felt across her waist. It was Tim's arm. She glanced up to see that he was fast asleep, his face buried in his pillow.

Removing herself somewhat awkwardly from his grasp, Julie got out of the bed and tiptoed out of the room and into Billy and Mindy's room, where Jordyn had been sleeping. She scooped the distressed baby up into her arms and, after checking her diaper, decided to go prepare a bottle and see if that would calm her.

Jordyn continued to fuss, throwing in the occasional wail, as Julie moved around the kitchen, warming a bottle of formula for her. When Julie held the bottle to her mouth, however, Jordyn latched on and went quiet.

Julie stood in the dark kitchen, feeding Jordyn and swaying her gently as she did so, just like she used to do with Gracie the few times she spared her parents the agony of getting up in the middle of the night to feed the crying baby. It was several minutes before she noticed Tim standing in the doorway of his bedroom watching her.

"Hey," she mouthed, not wanting to disturb Jordyn from her meal now that she was finally quiet.

Silently he came over and stood next to them, looking down at the baby. He glanced up at Julie, a strange expression on his face.

"What?" she whispered.

He shrugged and held out his arms, offering to take Jordyn. Julie shook her head.

"She's fine," she said softly. "I don't mind."

They stood in silence and watched Jordyn sate her hunger, the moment so quiet and tender that Julie didn't want to disturb it by speaking. The peace they had unexpectedly forged was comforting, and very welcome.

***

Julie awoke the next morning to Tim amorously nuzzling her neck and sliding a hand under her t-shirt.

"Morning," she said sleepily, her voice scratchy.

"Mmm," Tim replied, his teeth scraping against her earlobe. Julie shivered as he kissed his way along her jaw, heading for her mouth. Julie pulled her face away and shook her head.

"Uh-uh," she said, frowning at him. "Morning breath."

"Don't care." He sucked on the skin of her neck while his hands crept up to the waistband of her underwear.

"You like doing it in the morning, I take it?"

"Mmm-hmm," he mumbled, rolling them both so that she was on her back and he was resting on top of her. He tugged her underwear down her legs and tossed them over his shoulder. Julie giggled.

"If you're happy doing all the work, I'm just going to lie here," she said, languorously stretching her arms above her head.

Tim pushed her borrowed t-shirt up, pressing a kiss to her exposed bellybutton. Julie shivered, goose bumps breaking out over her stomach. She felt Tim smile against her skin.

He kissed his way back up to her face, pausing only to impatiently yank her shirt over her head. Julie kept her arms over her head, fighting the urge to cover herself up in the bright morning light. It was especially difficult given the way Tim was staring down at her, his eyes shining mischievously. He grinned, leaning down suddenly and pressing a kiss right on her lips.

"Ugh," Julie said, a hand coming down to cover her mouth while she glared at him.

He didn't reply, merely grinning at her as he leaned to the side and began groping next to his bed for a condom.

"Damn," he swore, after a moment.

"What?"

"I'm all out," he said, sitting back on his heels. His expression looked like he'd just watched someone kick a puppy.

"Oh," Julie said. She looked up at his disappointed face, at war with herself. They could just go without, couldn't they? She _was_ on the pill, after all. "It's okay."

"Huh?"

"I'm on the pill; it's fine."

He frowned down at her. "You sure?"

"Yeah, I mean... Is there a reason I shouldn't be sure?"

"No," he said, smiling. "Clean bill of health. I promise."

"So, if we do this, this is basically me trusting you and you trusting me, then," Julie said, somewhat apprehensive.

Tim nodded, the amusement disappearing from his face. He leaned down, pressing another kiss on her lips. "I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, Jules," he said seriously.

"Me neither," Julie said. "I trust you."

Tim blinked. After a breathless pause, he kissed her again, a hand sliding down over her hip and between her legs. Julie gasped, bringing her hands up to tangle in his hair.

"Mmm, I like you," Tim mumbled against her lips as he kissed her. Julie snorted, her laugh dying on a moan as he brushed his thumb against her clit.

He eased his hips between her thighs, sliding into her with what was – at this point – practised ease.

"Jesus," he breathed, hot and quick against her ear.

Julie gulped, gripping his hair harder and trying to draw a breath. Her skin tingled all over, and she tried not to overanalyse the fact that this was the barest, the closest she had ever been with another person. Tim shifted and Julie moved with him, gripping his hips tightly between her thighs.

He dropped his head to her shoulder and exhaled a shaky laugh.

"We're gonna have to make this quick," he said, his words mumbled low against her neck. He drew his hips back and thrust into her, the movement catching Julie's breath in her throat. The feel of every inch of his bare skin against hers was intense.

"Yeah," Julie replied shakily, trying to meet his thrusts.

He lifted his head and looked at her, his face flushed in the bright morning light. Julie met his eyes, shy but unable and unwilling to break his gaze.

Julie gasped when again his hand found its way between them to touch her, making her whole body shiver against his as she came.

"_Jules_," Tim rumbled, his eyes squeezing shut in an expression that looked almost pained. He followed her right after, collapsing on her chest with a groan.

Julie stared up at the water-stained ceiling, trying to catch her breath and absently running her fingers through his sweaty hair.

"Never done that before," Tim said, his voice muffled against her skin.

"What, without a...?"

"Yeah," Tim replied, raising his head and quirking an eyebrow at Julie's squeamishness.

"Oh," she said simply, unsure how to take his admission.

"I gotta go to work," Tim said reluctantly, kissing her bare shoulder. "Mindy doesn't work today or tomorrow, so I guess I won't see you for a couple days."

"Guess not."

"What are you gonna tell your parents?"

"Um," Julie said blankly, shaking her head, "I really have no idea."

"Tell 'em I made you work overtime," Tim said, kissing her on the lips with an audible smack before rolling off the bed and onto his feet, smirking all the while.

"Ew," Julie replied as she sat up, trying not to laugh. Laughing only encouraged him.

"Shower?" he said, grabbing a towel off the back of his door and wrapping it around his waist.

"Was that a statement or a question?" Julie asked, although she knew perfectly well. Tim grinned at her. "You're going to be late for work if you don't hurry up."

Tim stood there continuing to smile at her until she started to feel a little self-conscious. He took a step forward and bent to kiss her quickly before heading for the bathroom.

Julie shook her head and slowly began dressing. She folded the Panthers t-shirt she had borrowed and placed it on the corner of his unmade bed. She stood looking at it a moment longer before reaching out and grabbing it, shoving it into her bag.

Pulling her hair up into a haphazard ponytail, Julie threw her bag over her shoulder and headed for the door, ready to lock it behind her.

"Good morning," came a voice from the living room. Julie stopped, turning around to find Mindy standing in the middle of the room, gently bouncing a fussy Jordyn. It had slipped her mind completely that they weren't alone.

"Morning," Julie replied cautiously, a little wary of the serious expression on Mindy's face.

"You two have fun last night?"

"Um, sure," Julie said. She and Mindy only ever really talked about Jordyn, and Mindy had never mentioned what was going on between her and Tim.

They stared at one another awkwardly for a beat before Mindy stomped one foot impatiently and rolled her eyes. "Look, Billy's real worried about this whole thing."

"What? Why?"

"He thinks that it's just Garrity all over again, and Tim's gonna fall apart when schools starts and you take off to do your college girl thing. He's afraid Tim's gonna screw up because of it. He usually does."

"Maybe Billy should try having a little more faith in Tim," Julie said, crossing her arms over her chest, briefly defensive. She looked down. "Anyway, it's different. I'm hardly Lyla Garrity."

Mindy gave her a disbelieving look.

"What? I'm not. It's not like we're in love._ Summer fling_," Julie repeated emphatically, annoyed.

"Yeah, fine, whatever. Let me know how that works out," Mindy said, turning and disappearing into the bedroom.

Julie stared after her for a moment before turning once more to leave, locking the front door behind her and heading out into the already scorching hot Texas morning.

Driving home, she shoved Mindy's comments aside and set herself to worrying about more important things, like whether or not her mother had even remotely believed her lie about a babysitting emergency.

***

Julie leaned against a cardboard box of tomatoes and sighed, rubbing her arms against the chill of the walk-in cooler.

She was hiding, and she wasn't ashamed to admit it.

The lunch rush was about half over, but Julie was exhausted and at the limit of her patience. Applebee's was unusually busy that day, even for the lunch hour, and Julie had, it seemed, been saddled with all the pickiest, rudest, crankiest customers who had walked through the doors.

She managed to smile her way through most of it, but after the third time one particular guy sent his food back to the kitchen and muttered under his breath that hell would freeze over before he'd give her a tip, she ducked into the walk-in to hide.

Rubbing her face tiredly, Julie steeled her nerves and walked out, trying to keep her mind focused on the fact that in a few weeks, she would be quitting and leaving for Houston.

Heading back into the restaurant, Julie looked up and smiled at the sight of Tim sprawled carelessly in one of the booths in her section, perusing the menu. Grabbing her notepad, she walked over.

"Welcome to Applebee's," she said, standing next to the table. "What can I get for you this afternoon?"

Tim looked up at her and blinked slowly, a troubling, wicked gleam in his eyes. "I was kinda hoping you'd say 'how may I serve you?' or something," he said, just low enough to avoid being heard by the other restaurant-goers.

"Like I'd give you an opportunity that good," Julie replied, raising an eyebrow at him. "What are you doing here?"

"Lunch," Tim said innocently, looking back down at his open menu. "I feel like chicken. I'm kind of a breast man. What do you recommend, Miss..." he squinted up at her nametag, taking much too long to read it. "Miss Julie."

Julie clicked her pen in irritation, crossing her arms over her chest. "Do you seriously want something to eat or are you just here to bug me?"

Tim looked up at her in surprise. "I was just messing with you."

"Sorry," Julie sighed, rubbing her temples. "I'm having a crappy day. I'm not really up for having my ponytail pulled."

"What's up? Can you take a break?"

Julie glanced down at her wristwatch. "Actually, yes. Only I don't want to take it here."

Tim stood up, abandoning his menu. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her towards the back exit.

"I'm taking her," he said to Julie's manager as they passed him. "She'll be back in fifteen minutes. More or less."

As she was dragged out the back of the restaurant and across the parking lot to Tim's truck, Julie figured that she probably ought to protest being manhandled in this way, but given that she had already considered walking out of there herself, she figured it didn't much matter.

"Don't take me anywhere nice," Julie said as she hopped into the passenger seat of the truck. "I'll just want to stay and never go back to work, and as tempting as that sounds right now, it's probably not a good plan in the long run."

"Alamo Freeze it is," Tim replied, starting the engine and putting the truck into gear.

They sat at an out of the way table and Tim bought a soda for her and a meal for himself.

"You mind?" he asked, returning to the table with a plastic tray loaded down with food. "I have to eat and get back to work, eventually." He grimaced.

"Knock yourself out," Julie said, leaning forward to take a sip of her drink. "I've got a giant soda with lots of ice, and it's cool in here, and it's not work. I'm happy."

"So what's bugging you? Besides me," Tim asked, digging into his food.

"Nothing, really. Work stuff. I hate waitressing. People are jerks and I'm too sensitive."

"You're not too sensitive," Tim said.

"I'm definitely too sensitive, Tim. Everything hurts my feelings. I take stuff way too personally; my mom is always saying that about me. People complain about the food and I feel attacked. I didn't even make it and I_ still _get my feelings hurt. It's pathetic."

Tim appeared to consider this as he devoured his burger. Julie was slowly learning to overlook his complete lack of table manners, but sometimes it was a struggle. Gracie could manage more poise over a meal, and she was notorious for spontaneously mashing handfuls of peas into her own hair.

"I dunno," he said, leaning back and taking a sip of his drink. "You put up with me, and I'm a jackass."

"You're not a jackass," Julie replied promptly, wondering if Tim could read her mind. "Or at least not the kind that gets to me. You're too quiet to hurt my feelings."

"Quiet, huh?"

"What, you haven't noticed?"

Tim merely shrugged in response. Julie laughed.

"Tell you what," Tim said, "why don't we go on a date tonight?"

"A date?"

"Yeah, a date. Maybe you've heard of 'em, I don't know. I pick you up, we go out someplace, get something to eat, end up making out in my truck," he smiled at her, his eyes twinkling.

Julie smiled back at him and then looked down, her bad mood slowly disappearing.

"A date," Julie said, playing along and pretending to mull the word over as though it was new to her. "Could be interesting. Did you have something specific in mind?"

"Fran's?"

Julie wrinkled her nose.

"Hm... Applebee's?"

Julie glowered.

"No? This is tough," Tim frowned, teasing her. "How about the pita place up on Murphy Street and that new Tom Cruise movie?"

"Sure," Julie replied. "Do you like pitas?"

"Never had one," he admitted with a shrug.

"Feeling adventurous?"

"Always."

"Pitas and Scientologists it is, then."

They sat in silence as Tim finished his lunch, and then Tim drove her back to Applebee's. He pulled into the parking lot and let the truck idle, but Julie didn't get out. She didn't really want to.

"They're probably gonna get mad at you if you don't come back," Tim said, his voice sounding as reluctant as she felt.

"I know," she said with a sigh.

"Pick you up around 7?"

"Sounds good," Julie replied, smiling. "See you then."

Julie hopped out of the truck and went back into the restaurant, smiling back over her shoulder as he pulled away. It wasn't until she was clocking out to go home that she realised that when Tim picked her up later, she had no idea what she was going to tell her parents.

That was happening a lot lately.

***

"Seriously, you've never had falafel before?" Julie asked.

"No," Tim said, dubious. "Sounds even worse than it looks."

They were seated in a booth at the back of the pita restaurant, their food spread out on the table in front of them. Julie was about to bite into her falafel pita, and Tim was watching her closely, like he wasn't quite sure she was serious about this, while his own pita – filled with every meat they had and topped with toasted cheese and mayo – cooled in front of him.

Julie laughed. "Fine, suit yourself. More falafel for me."

Tim frowned at her. He reached over, grabbing her pita out of her hands.

"Hey!" she protested, watching in astonishment as he took a gigantic bite out of it.

"Mmm," he said appreciatively after a moment, taking another bite.

"You're gonna eat the whole thing!" Indignantly, she grabbed her pita back.

"Very good," Tim grinned, his mouth full.

"You ate like half my pita!" Julie complained, glaring at him.

"I'll buy you popcorn to make up for it," he offered, eyes shining in amusement.

"You'd better," she grumbled. She finished the rest of her pita in a defensive stance, ready to slap his hands if he tried to come near again. If Tim thought she hadn't learned a thing or two about defending her food living in a house with her father, he had another thing coming.

Later, sitting in the darkness of the cool theatre and staring up at the bright movie screen, Julie had to wonder what she had been thinking, agreeing to go into a dark movie theatre with _Tim Riggins_.

They weren't five minutes into the movie before Tim snuck his hand over and spread his fingers out above her bare knee, just to the inside. She jumped in her seat. His hand was incredibly warm on her chilled skin.

"Goose bumps?" Tim whispered, leaning his head over towards Julie's without taking his eyes off the screen.

"Yeah, it's freezing in here," Julie replied.

"Shoulda said something," he whispered back. "I coulda warmed you up."

With that, he began sliding his hand slowly up her thigh, his skin warming hers as he did so. Julie's face flushed. Was he really going to...? Julie clamped her thighs shut on his hand, trapping it just before he could get anywhere really dangerous.

Tim turned his head and smirked at her, his eyes shining in the reflected light of the movie screen.

"Can't really do anything if you're gonna do that, Jules," he said softly.

"I-I have to go to the bathroom," Julie blurted, standing up suddenly and knocking his hand out of her lap.

Julie walked as quickly as she could out of the theatre, turning the corner and ducking into the ladies' washroom. Thankfully, it was empty. Julie went to the nearest sink and splashed a bit of water on her cheeks, trying to cool them down. She felt dizzy; one minute she was cold, the next she was way too hot.

The door to the bathroom swung open. Julie didn't look up until she felt someone staring at her. Tim was standing two feet away from her, looking at her with a smug look on his face.

"What?" Julie asked, a little defensive at his expression. "I felt sick, okay? I'll be back in a minute."

Tim tilted his head slightly, still looking at her.

"Tim, this is the_ ladies_' washroom."

"I know," Tim replied, taking a couple of steps towards her. "We'd better be real quiet."

"Quiet?"

"Yeah," he said, reaching out and grabbing her hand. He tugged her into the end stall suddenly, locking it behind them just as the bathroom door swung open again to admit a group of chatting girls.

They stood there staring at each other in the fluorescent light as the girls flushed and washed their hands, laughing noisily. Julie barely heard them; all sound was drowned out by the rushing of blood in her ears. Tim just grinned at her, looking extremely pleased with himself.

He leaned in and kissed her, skipping straight to hot, dirty, ridiculous kisses without preamble. He pushed her against the painted concrete wall, lifting her against his body. Julie kissed him back, tangling her hands in his hair and propping a foot against the toilet tank.

Julie had never done anything like this before in her life. This was the kind of thing Tyra would do. No, not even. This was the kind of thing Tyra _used_ to do. This was the kind of thing Julie should have turned her nose up at. But there was something about the way that Tim looked at her, his eyes heated and mischievous, which made her feel giddy instead.

Tim Riggins was apparently having a profound effect on her judgment.

Sliding his hands up under her skirt, he moved back only long enough to reach down and pull her underwear down her thighs. He hitched her up against the wall like there was nothing to it, fumbling with his belt buckle.

Kissing her, he eased a hand between her legs, and Julie jerked and sighed when he slid a finger inside her.

"You're driving me crazy, Jul-" he began to say, but Julie cut him off, kissing him hard and scraping his bottom lip with her teeth. She reached down and yanked his jeans open, wrapping a hand around him. He smiled against her mouth, a wolfish sort of grin she could _feel_, and pushed up inside her in one smooth movement.

Julie tangled her fingers in his hair and held on tight, her foot her only brace against his hard thrusts. The fly of his jeans dug painfully into her thigh, his stubble scraped her face, his fingers pulled her hair, and her muscles ached with effort, but Julie did not care.

When Tim caught her eye and smiled at her like there was nothing she could possibly do wrong, she did not care about anything else at all.

The soft, blunt heat of his fingers against her, coaxing her roughly, made Julie shudder all over. Biting her lip to keep herself from shouting and announcing their presence, she moaned out a sharp, sudden burst of an orgasm.

She was only vaguely aware of him coming seconds later on a groan which sounded suspiciously like her name accompanied by several expletives. She sighed, trying to slow her racing heartbeat.

"Couldn't wait, huh?" she asked, once she caught her breath.

He lifted his head from her chest and glared at her. The flush on his face was adorable, and Julie tugged his hair affectionately. She sighed again, looking around her. She wrinkled her nose. A bathroom stall at a movie theatre, _really_?

"We're going to miss the rest of the movie," she said, shifting as her position became uncomfortable.

"Hell with the rest of the movie," Tim muttered sluggishly, pulling away. He set her down on her feet before turning away to zip up, his face still flushed. "We're goin' back to my place."

Julie laughed. "Okay, fine. You go first, and I'll meet you in the lobby. We have to be sneaky and covert."

Tim smiled and leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. "See you in two minutes."

He ducked out of the stall, leaving Julie to try to relearn how to walk on her wobbly legs. She took a few deep breaths and tried to pull herself together. After readjusting her clothes and her hair, she left the stall and washed her hands, splashing some cold water on her face. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

She didn't look freaked or embarrassed or ashamed. She looked downright _giddy_.

Julie left the washroom and headed towards the lobby, her eyes scanning the crowd for Tim. She found him leaning casually against a pillar near the entrance, a small smile on his face. His smile widened when his gaze landed on her. He stood up straight, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Ready to go?" he asked. Julie didn't have a chance to respond, however, for at that moment an obnoxiously loud voice boomed across the lobby, causing several people to turn their heads.

"Tim Riggins!" It was Buddy Garrity. He came bustling over, grabbing Tim's hand in a firm handshake and clapping the other hand against Tim's shoulder. Julie edged out of the way; Buddy seemed to have barely noticed her.

"Hey, Mr. Garrity," Tim replied, clearing his throat and casting a panicked look at Julie. Or at least as panicked a look as Tim could muster – a slight raise of the eyebrows and downturn in his mouth as he looked at her.

"How're you doin', Tim Riggins?"

"I'm doing fine, Mr. Garrity."

"How's that garage you two boys got goin'?"

"It's all right, sir."

"Lookin' forward to makin' some tackles at San Antonio State this year?"

"Yes, sir," Tim nodded.

"Great, that's just great," Buddy blustered. "Tell you what, Lyla is havin' a ball up there in the Big Apple. An absolute ball."

"Mm-hmm," Tim nodded, shooting Julie another discomfited look. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away.

"She's working hard and making a lot of new friends, new connections, you know, dating and whatnot. She's just havin' a ball, Riggins," Buddy mused, smiling to himself. He caught the stormy expression on Tim's face. "I know you two were real close, but that's how it goes when you're young. Here today, gone tomorrow."

Julie swallowed, torn between annoyance over Buddy's interruption and empathy for Tim's open wound of a broken heart, which Buddy was currently rubbing salt into, like talking about Lyla's exciting dating life in New York was a remotely reasonable thing to do.

Buddy finally seemed to register her presence, then, turning and smiling brightly at her, eyebrows raised.

"Julie Taylor! Miss Julie Taylor. How's your dad? Ain't seen much of him lately."

"He's fine," Julie replied tightly.

"You tell him I said hello," he said, looking from Julie to Tim. Frowning, his eyes went back to Julie, then back to Tim again. "Are you two-?"

"We're friends," Tim said bluntly, before Buddy had the chance to finish his question. Julie glanced up at Tim. She'd been about to say the same thing, but still. It hurt a little, how easily he said it.

Buddy seemed to let it go, insisting again that Julie say hello to her parents for him before he finally left them alone, heading back to his own date, a middle-aged blonde who reminded Julie eerily of Tyra's mother. Julie watched him go, then turned back to see Tim eyeing her somewhat warily. After a pause, she smiled tightly at him and they left, leaving the crowded movie theatre behind them. As they walked through the dark parking lot, Julie almost jumped in surprise when she felt Tim's hand clasp hers.

Turning away to hide her smile, Julie laced her fingers with his.


	13. Chapter 13

Julie stared blankly at the TV, sighing and cuddling deeper into the couch. She'd had a long day at work, and was starting to feel like the unexpected stress of this summer was catching up with her. She barely noticed when her mother sat down next to her on the couch, their shoulders touching.

"Hey stranger," Tami said. Julie smiled, muting the TV and turning to her mother.

"Hey," Julie replied, the word coming out on a yawn.

"Tough day?"

"Yeah, a couple of the girls called in sick, so I was on my feet the whole time."

"That's too bad."

"It's okay. I think some of my customers felt bad for me, though, so I made good tips," Julie said, stifling another yawn. She really was exhausted. Between work and babysitting and Tim, she'd barely had two minutes to herself lately.

"That's good," Tami replied. They fell silent, both watching the flickering screen of the mute TV as some cheesy game show got underway.

"So," Tami continued, after a long pause, "who was that picking you up the other night, sweetie?"

"What, were you watching from the window or something? Jeez, mom."

"Yeah, actually, I was. Sometimes I still like to know what you're up to. Who was that?"

Julie sent a sideways glance at her mother. She could lie, but there wasn't much point – Dillon was populated with countless pick-up trucks, but Tim and his noisy black mid-'80s Silverado were so synonymous with each other that they were practically a town icon. More importantly, Tami wasn't stupid.

"It was Tim," Julie said simply, turning her attention back to the TV.

"You and Tim Riggins see a lot of each other these days?"

"I guess," Julie replied, giving a purposefully careless shrug. "With babysitting and all... We're friends. We just went to see a movie."

Julie could feel Tami staring at her. It made her uncomfortable, but she tried not to show it.

"You know, I thought it was a little strange, the Rigginses having you stay the night last week," Tami said.

"Billy and Tim had some big emergency at the garage, so they couldn't come home, and Mindy was working, so I had to stick around. By the time they got home, it was so late that they just offered me the couch," Julie rambled, throwing in a disgruntled roll of her eyes in the hopes that it would distract her mother from the ridiculous nonsense she was spouting.

"Yeah," Tami replied slowly, obviously not convinced. "I would have appreciated a phone call, at least."

"I'm sorry. Next time they'd better give me some advance warning." Julie hoped she was injecting enough annoyance into her voice.

"Okay," Tami said, after a long pause. "Look, honey... I know you're all grown up and you don't need me for a single thing anymore, but I still like to know what's going on in your life."

Julie turned and saw the concerned, forlorn expression on her mother's face. She gulped, an uneasy sensation in her stomach. She wasn't sure what was bothering her the most –lying to her mother, or treating Tim like her dirty secret.

"I just need to know you're okay," Tami said, her hand coming up to stroke the back of Julie's head. Julie leaned into the touch, swallowing the lump which suddenly choked her throat.

"I'm okay," Julie replied, allowing herself to be pulled into her mother's arms. She buried her face in Tami's shoulder. "I'm really okay, I promise. Everything's great."

"All right, sweetheart," Tami soothed, rubbing her back. "It's all right."

Julie wasn't sure either one of them really believed that, but for the moment, she didn't mind.

Tim squinted, trying to find a crack in the radiator of an old F-150. He was sure the thing was cracked, he just couldn't figure out where. He leaned further under the hood of the truck, trying to tune out Billy's purposeful, anxious hovering. His brother had been pretending to clean up nearby for about the last ten minutes, and Tim was intent on ignoring him.

"Listen," Billy said finally, "this isn't working."

"What's not working?" Tim asked mildly, standing up straight and wiping his hands off with a rag.

"This whole us not talking thing," Billy said, gesturing at the space between them. "I know you're pissed at me, but damn it. We've been through worse. You can't just ignore me all day; you're driving me nuts, here."

Tim frowned and looked away, unsure how to respond.

"Look, I just... I just worry about you. That's all. I want you to be happy and I hate seeing you all miserable and beat up all the time. You were real happy when you were with Lyla, but whenever things weren't going good, or when you broke up... I don't know what to do."

"You don't have to ido/i anything, Billy. I never asked you to fix it."

"I know, but I'm your brother. Who else is gonna look out for you? I feel responsible."

Tim couldn't help but smile at his brother, touched by his words. He nodded. "I know, Billy."

"What's the deal with you and Julie, anyway?" Billy asked, treading carefully. "You like her?"

"Yeah, Billy. I like her. That's the deal," Tim replied simply.

Billy nodded, scratching his stubble contemplatively. "What's gonna happen when you go back to college?"

"I guess I'll go back to San Antonio State, and she'll go to Rice. Like I said."

"Hm," Billy said, nodding again. "Sorry, bro."

Tim looked up, but didn't reply.

"You wanna go for a beer tonight? Half-price pitchers at the Strip," Billy offered.

Tim thought of all the time he _hadn't_ spent with Billy this summer, and he smiled slowly. "Sure, Billy. That'd be real good."

Julie was stretched out on the couch, enjoying one of her rare days off from both babysitting _and _waitressing, when her phone beeped noisily. Lazily, Julie set her novel aside and got up, retrieving her phone from the kitchen counter. There was a text message from Tim. Smiling, she opened it.

_jailbreak. mins & lil j are the collettes. r u free?_

It was a little embarrassing, how quickly and enthusiastically she replied, and how fast she drove over to Tim's, leaving a hasty note on the fridge for her parents. She could hardly be blamed, though – it had been a few days since she and Tim had spent any time together. It was a relief to get to his place and discover that he was as eager as she was; they didn't even make it to his bedroom the first time.

"Is this the part where we break into song?" she asked later as they lay in his bed. She glanced over at him, enjoying the way he exhaled, sending dust motes dancing through a shaft of bright afternoon sunlight. He didn't get her joke at first, merely raising an eyebrow at her.

"You know," Julie continued, "'sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight'?"

"Oh yeah," Tim scoffed, with a roll of his eyes. "Tyra and Mindy's mom liked that one, used to sing it all the time." Julie smiled at the lazy way his words rolled into one another; he said it _Tyranmindy_.

Silence fell between them for a moment before Tim spoke again.

"Me and Billy made up," he said, apropos of nothing.

Julie looked over at him. "Were you fighting?"

"Yeah. I mean, I guess so, kinda. He's been a pain since I told him about me and you."

"Oh," Julie replied, looking down. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for. He just worries, is all. But I think he's more or less over it." Tim wrapped an arm around her, reaching up to play with her loose hair with one hand.

"That's good," she murmured, not knowing what else to say. She felt her eyelids getting heavy and blinked rapidly, trying to fight sleep. "I should go, or I'm gonna fall asleep."

"So fall asleep," Tim replied, shrugging. He reached for her, pulling her tight against his chest and covering them both with the sheets. "Mmm, afternoon naps," he rumbled. Julie lifted her head slightly to look at him; his eyes were closed and he had a small, content smile on his face.

"Don't you have to get back to work at some point?"

"Billy thinks I'm getting parts in Midland," Tim replied, his breath hot against her neck. Julie shivered.

"Shouldn't you do that, maybe?"

"Hmph," Tim grunted.

"Seriously – are you supposed to be getting something important?"

"Not really."

"_Tim_," Julie scolded.

"I'll get out of bed on one condition."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You have to come with me."

Julie stared. "Seriously?"

"Sure. Why not? I could use the company. You got anything better to do?"

"No," she replied, not even bothering to pretend.

"It's only like an hour each way, and we can stop somewhere and eat. I'll get you home before you turn into a pumpkin or whatever, I promise."

"Okay," Julie agreed, sitting up. She glanced around the messy room, frowning. "But you have to help me find my pants. I refuse to go anywhere without pants."

Most of the drive to Midland was spent bickering about what radio station to choose. It wasn't that Julie didn't have a certain _appreciation_ for classic rock and country, but she had a saturation point. Tim apparently did not, and he also did not have a sense of humour when it came to his passengers attempting to tune the radio to the local college station.

Now she was sitting alone in the truck, sweltering in the intense heat in the middle of a scrap yard while Tim talked nearby with the proprietor. She wiggled her toes uncomfortably in her flip-flops; even her feet were sweating.

Julie observed Tim from behind her sunglasses, watching how he stood with his arms crossed over his chest, haggling with the other man. He bent down to examine some of the miscellaneous parts for sale, then stood and resumed haggling. Julie couldn't hear their words, but she could imagine the laidback, indifferent tone Tim had to be using, his hands on his hips and a shrug always present in his shoulders. She smiled, and looked away.

A few minutes later, Tim walked back to the truck and leaned on her window.

"I won," he said, his voice low enough not to be heard by the other man.

"You got a good deal?" Julie asked carefully, hoping she didn't sound totally dumb. She had no idea how this worked.

"Hell yeah," Tim said, his face splitting into a grin. His eyes were hidden behind his aviators, but Julie could see he was pleased with himself. "Just need to load it all up, then we're out of here. Should only take a couple minutes."

"Do you need a hand?"

"What? Oh, no, I'm good. Stay put."

"It's fine," Julie said, tightening her ponytail and opening her door. Tim stepped out of the way to allow her to hop down. "I feel lame just sitting here."

Tim said nothing, merely nodding and heading back to the heap of miscellaneous auto parts. They worked in companionable silence, carrying the parts to Tim's truck and piling them in the back.

When they were finished, Julie wiped a hand over her brow. It hadn't been particularly hard work, but in the heat, it was exhausting. Tim wasn't faring much better, his face flushed and his hair sweaty. He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it into the truck before climbing in. Julie got in the passenger side, moaning aloud at the incredible heat inside the truck. Tim glanced over at her.

"Hot?" he asked.

"_Yes_," Julie replied emphatically, choosing to ignore his obvious innuendo. Tim smirked.

"Hold on. I got just the thing." He cranked the engine and pulled out, leaving the scrap yard behind them. He drove out onto the highway, and the breeze blowing in through the windows relieved some of the heat. They headed back in the direction of Dillon, but after about twenty minutes, Tim took a detour and turned off onto a long dirt road.

Small stands of scrub oak and poplar peppered the wide, empty grasslands around them, and soon they approached a thick copse of trees. Julie recognized it, the east shore of the lake popular with teenagers in Dillon.

Tim parked at the end of the road, right next to a spot where the ground sloped down to the shore. He got out of the truck and Julie followed him, coming to stand next to him, looking out at the water.

"Nice," Julie said, imagining how cool and refreshing the water must be.

"Sometimes I get good ideas," Tim shrugged. "Wanna go for a swim?"

"Seriously? I'm pretty sure I'd kill someone just to cool down," Julie laughed, kicking off her shoes and stripping down to her underwear. She didn't even care that she'd be uncomfortable later, she just had to get in that water and wash off all the sweat and dust.

Julie dashed into the water, not stopping until she was deep enough to dive under the surface. She came up sputtering and grinning, feeling briefly like a little girl at play. She turned, wiping hair out of her eyes, to see Tim standing knee-deep in water and watching her with a smile. His raggedy jeans had been abandoned in the sand, and he was wearing only a pair of boxers.

"What are you waiting for?" Julie called, kicking her legs to push herself further out.

Tim shrugged and walked towards her, plunging himself into the water without a word once it was deep enough.

They swam in silence for several minutes, a few feet of gently lapping lake water separating them. Julie thought about the last time she'd been out here, when she and Matt camped out and had sex for the first time. It wasn't long ago, not really, but in that moment it felt like an age had passed between then and now.

Julie felt the strange impulse to tell Tim about this. She glanced over at him, catching the faraway expression on his face as he treaded water and stared out over the empty, quiet lake. It was probably silly, but before she even had the chance to open her mouth, he spoke.

"Used to come out here with Jay and Lyla all the time. Tyra, too, sometimes, when we weren't fighting," he said, glancing at her once before looking back out at the far shore.

She watched him for a moment, not sure what kind of response she should give, if any.

"You guys were all really close," she observed finally, after a long pause.

Tim nodded. "Yeah, once. Everything kinda changed after Jay got hurt, I guess." He picked up a stone from the lake bottom under their feet, and sent it skipping across the surface.

Julie didn't reply; she had no idea what to say. Tim opened up only very occasionally, and she didn't want to ruin it by saying the wrong thing. What did she know about what Tim had gone through after Jason's accident, what had happened between him and Lyla? At the time, it had mostly just been gossip to her. She bit her lip.

"It's hard," she said, glancing at him cautiously, "how everything around you can change without you wanting or asking it to, and you just sort of get left out, or left behind."

"Yeah," Tim replied, squinting against the bright afternoon sunlight. He glanced at her. "Anybody ever tell you you're real easy to talk to?"

"No," Julie said honestly, embarrassed.

"You are. For me, anyway."

Julie looked away. She didn't know what to say to that, either.

"Come on," Tim said, standing up and wading to the shore, the movement throwing off hundreds of drops of water which glinted in the afternoon light. Julie followed him and stood on the sandy shore, pulling her jean shorts and tank top back on. She grimaced at the uncomfortable clamminess. Thankfully, it was still hot and breezy enough that she began to dry almost instantly.

Tim had gone back up to the truck, and appeared again on the small beach with a plastic grocery bag, a blanket, and a case of beer.

"What's this?" Julie asked, trying and failing to keep the smile off her face.

"A picnic."

"A picnic?"

"Sure. You brought me one, before. Just repaying the favour."

"Good memory," Julie noted.

"You kidding me?" Tim asked, giving her a look. "A hot girl brings you a burger, you don't forget about it."

Julie nodded and looked away, flattered.

"Come on," Tim said, gesturing at her. He spread the striped blanket out on the scrubby grass, unpacking the food he had brought. Inside were two convenience store sandwiches (one with salami, the other vegetables,) two bags of chips, and a box of Twinkies.

Julie was delighted, and she didn't hesitate to show it.

"What?" Tim said, off the look on her face.

"Nothing!" she replied, smiling at him. "This is just... really sweet."

Tim smiled back, looking pleased, and passed her the vegetable sandwich.

They stayed out at the lake well into the evening, building a fire on the beach when the sun disappeared. It was chilly now, and dark but for the light of the moon. Leaning against an old log with Julie tucked against his side, Tim felt sleepy and relaxed. The beer they'd shared helped, too.

Tim was in the middle of telling Julie about one of the times he and Jay had gone fishing out here when Julie sighed heavily.

He looked down at her, not sure whether she was asleep or not. Her eyes were closed and her face still, her breaths slow and deep.

"Jules?" he asked softly. There was no response.

She was peaceful this way, and her stillness allowed Tim the uninterrupted opportunity to just look at her. His eyes traced her light freckles and her sooty eyelashes, and the full lips he found so distracting. It was strange to see her mouth replete with rest instead of curving into a smirk or a frown, about to make some sarcastic remark.

His brow furrowed. He knew what was happening here. He wasn't that stupid. He was doing it again – he was taking a summer fling and letting it become something else. Instead of just having some fun, he was wondering about Julie's plans for next year, wondering if she really wanted to go, wondering if he could get a place in Houston... No. He absolutely could not go down that road. Not again.

Not when he had no idea whether Julie felt the same way he did.

"Hmm," Julie murmured softly, frowning in her sleep.

Tim looked out at the dark lake, and the shifting, choppy reflection of the moon's silver light. The sky was huge and cloudless, and the bright stars looked close enough to reach out and touch. He sighed. He would have been content to stay there forever, but it was getting late. The Taylors would start to worry soon.

"Jules," he said softly, nudging her. "Time to get goin'."

Julie frowned, blinking sleepily up at him. "What time is it?"

"Pretty late. We gotta head back."

Julie stretched against him and hugged him closer, her arm tightening around his waist. "I could stay here forever, you know?"

Tim hugged her back, his cheek resting against her soft hair. "Yeah, I know."

They slowly got up and gathered their things, reluctantly climbing into the truck and heading out onto the dirt road. Soon they were on the highway, driving west to Dillon.

They drove in silence the whole way, the radio off to preserve the quiet contentment of the night. Tim hazarded a glance across the cab at Jules as they approached Dillon. Her head was resting on one hand, and she was looking out the window, the wind pulling wisps of hair free from her long ponytail.

She was smiling.

_**From:** TCollette_

_**Sent:** Wednesday, August 4, 2010 7:53 AM_

_**To:** Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject: **brilliant idea courtesy of yours truly_

_Jules,_

_I've decided that you need to come to Austin and visit me this weekend. Don't even pretend you're doing anything (anyone?) more interesting. You can drive out on Friday afternoon (unless you're working!) and head back on Sunday. I'll show you the sights and we'll have a great time. Please? Don't make me beg. It's beneath my dignity, but I will do it if I absolutely have to._

_xoxo_

_Tyra_

Julie threw down her toast and yelped in excitement. She jumped out of her seat and skidded out of her bedroom and into the kitchen.

Tami was standing at the coffeemaker, pouring herself a cup.

"Mom!" Julie shouted. "I have something really, really important to ask you and you have to say yes!"

"Oh I do, do I?" Tami asked drily, turning and giving her a look.

"Yes, you really do. I just got an email from Tyra, asking me to come spend the weekend in Austin."

"Ah," Tami said, frowning a little. For the first time, Julie noticed that her mother was dressed in a pencil skirt and blouse, rather than her usual summer uniform of a tank top and cut-offs.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Julie asked. Catching her mother's expression, she elaborated. "Not that you don't look nice."

"Thanks, honey," Tami replied with a roll of her eyes. "Your flattery means the world to me. I'm dressed this way because I'm the principal, and I need to go into work today. Which means I'm gonna need you to watch Gracie Belle."

"I'm already babysitting today, Mom," Julie exclaimed. She gestured emphatically at the family calendar tacked to the kitchen wall. "I wrote it in, like you told me to!"

"Shoot," Tami swore, looking at the calendar. "I was thinking Thursday, not Wednesday. Can't you take her with you?"

Julie was about to complain about this terrible hardship, when she realised she could use this to her advantage. "I guess it's not that big of a deal... If it means I can go visit Tyra in Austin this weekend."

Tami gave her a look. "Very clever."

"Please, please,_ please_?" Julie begged, pouting as pitifully as she could.

"If it will get you to stop making that face, fine, you can go," Tami said. "But Miss Gracie Belle is all yours today."

"Yes! Fine! No problem!" Julie replied excitedly, scarcely believing her mom had given in that easily.

"Hold your horses, missy! You have to check in every day, and any spending money is coming out of your pocket, not mine. No drinking, and no boys. I am serious, Jules. You're not gone off to college yet."

"Yes ma'am," Julie said solemnly, deciding not to dwell on the irony of the fact that there would have been more drinking and boys (one boy in particular) if she stayed in Dillon this weekend. "It's just going to be a girls' weekend, I swear."

Tami sent her another long look before nodding firmly. "Okay. We have a deal."

"Yay!" Julie exclaimed, throwing her arms around her mother.

"Come help me get Gracie Belle's car seat out of my car and into yours," Tami said, extracting herself from Julie's embrace. "I can't figure that thing out for the life of me."

"I hope you got some rest this afternoon," Tim nearly shouted, entering the house and dropping his keys on the nearest table, "'cause Mindy's getting off early, so we have like an hour, tops, and I've been thinking about getting you nak-"

"Stop!" Julie interrupted, standing up from her seat on the couch and holding a hand up as if to halt his words in mid-air. She gestured pointedly downwards and Tim's eyes followed.

Gracie and Jordyn were playing together on the living room floor, completely oblivious to Tim's arrival.

"Oh," he breathed, deflating. He smiled ruefully, his cheeks reddening.

"Sorry," Julie said, walking over to him. "I had to take Gracie at the last minute, so it's been the three of us all afternoon." She lowered her voice. "Did we ruin your plans?"

Tim gave an exaggerated sigh before grinning and leaning in for a quick kiss. "Only kinda."

"Good, because I have more bad news."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Well, it's good news, actually, but it's kind of a bummer for you. I mean, it's a bummer for me, too, even though I'm excited-"

"Jules?" he interrupted.

"Yeah?"

"What is it?" he asked, fighting off a smile.

"Oh, sorry. Tyra invited me to come visit her in Austin, and my mom said I could go."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Tim shrugged. "It's okay. You'll have fun."

"It's only for a weekend," Julie pointed out. She did not point out that in only a couple weeks they would be separated more or less permanently. Tim didn't, either.

"It's fine, Jules. You don't have to babysit me, too."

"Good thing," Julie replied, turning to glance at the two little girls. "These two are more than enough trouble."

Gracie tore her attention away from the plastic farm set she and Jordyn were playing with, raising her eyebrows somewhat sceptically at her older sister.

"Wiggins?" she asked, clamping her dark eyes on Tim, who grinned.

"Hey, Gracie Belle," he greeted her, going over and crouching down next to the girls. "You doing a good job looking after Little Jay, here?"

Julie watched, enchanted, as Tim began playing with his niece and her sister, apparently forgetting all about her. She would never admit it to anyone, but the sight was adorable. She joined them on the floor and they all played "farm" together. Tim helpfully provided plenty of realistic barnyard sound effects, much to Gracie and Jordyn's amusement.

Eventually, Julie glanced down at her watch and reluctantly had to break up the party.

"It's getting late," she said. "I promised my mom that I'd pick up dinner on the way home, so she and my dad are expecting us. Sorry."

"It's okay," Tim said, studiously corralling several wayward plastic sheep.

They cleaned up and gathered their things, Tim scooping Gracie up to carry her out to the car. Julie was pleased to see that Gracie's wariness of Tim had rapidly given way to fast friendship.

Tim leaned on the driver's side window with his elbows as she buckled her seatbelt, making faces at Gracie over Julie's shoulder.

"So, I'm probably going to drive out Saturday morning, 'cause I work on Friday, but I'll see you when I get back, okay?" Julie said, settled into her seat. "I'm babysitting on Monday."

"Sure," Tim replied. He regarded her in silence for a moment. "Seems like I'm always saying goodbye to you."

Julie's heart clenched and she looked down. She couldn't really disagree.

"Monday?" Tim repeated, leaning closer.

"Monday," Julie replied. She closed the space between them and kissed him. He pulled away first, brushing his nose against hers.

"Have fun, but don't go too crazy. Tell Tyra I said hey."

"I will."

Tim stood back and nodded, hands on his hips. Julie took that as her cue to leave and pulled out of the driveway, glancing back at him once more before heading down his street. He lifted one arm in a lazy wave, watching her drive away.

Leaving him standing there alone in his driveway left a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach, a feeling which hadn't been there before.


	14. Chapter 14

On Saturday, Julie got up at the crack of dawn to drive to Austin, armed with plenty of music and snacks, and threatened with bodily harm by both of her parents if she failed to call once she arrived.

The journey was long and boring, the arid plains and wide blue skies blurring in a heat mirage where the highway met the horizon. There was something soothing about the way the monotonous drive lulled her usually anxious thoughts into relative silence. Still, Julie was relieved when she finally arrived in the outskirts of Austin.

She pulled up outside a red brick apartment building which looked just as Tyra had described in her emails. She checked the folded piece of notepaper – stuck between her bag and an empty water bottle on the passenger seat – on which she had written Tyra's address. Parking her car, she was about to get out when she heard the sound of a yell. She looked up and saw Tyra standing on the sidewalk, tall and tanned in flip-flops and cut-offs, a huge grin on her face.

Grinning back, Julie climbed out and met her friend in front of the car, where they hugged.

"I'm so glad you're here!" Tyra exclaimed, squeezing her. They retreated from the heat inside, where Tyra gave her a short tour of her tiny one bedroom apartment, including the battered second-hand futon on which Julie would be sleeping. Tyra was glib, but Julie beamed at her friend, impressed and envious.

"It's _awesome_," she said, peering out Tyra's kitchen window at the busy, tree-lined city street below. Tyra just shrugged and smiled, but Julie could tell that she was proud, and pleased at Julie's reaction.

That night, Tyra took Julie to her favourite_ taquería_ in Austin, and they shared nachos and fish tacos, Julie foregoing her vegetarianism for one evening. They stayed up half the night talking about nothing and everything, but it wasn't until late the next morning when they dragged themselves out of bed and Tyra made coffee that Julie finally broached the subject of Tim.

"So," she said, sitting sleepily in a patch of sun at Tyra's small kitchen table. "I know you must be dying to know what's going on with me and Tim."

Tyra didn't turn around from the counter. "Not really."

"I was being sarcastic."

"That's a relief," Tyra replied, placing a mug of coffee in front of Julie and sitting down across the table with her own. She raised her eyebrows. "Well? I think you're the one who's dying to talk about it."

Julie wrapped her hands around the mug, frowning down at the coffee as though it was a crystal ball which might yield her some kind of answer.

Tyra sighed. "Did you work things out after you trampled all over his delicate feelings?"

"Yeah. I apologised, and he pretty much just accepted it, like you said."

"And? How has it been since then?"

"Good," Julie replied. She smiled down at the chipped paint on the table. "Great, actually."

"Okay, that smile worries me."

Julie looked up to see Tyra staring at her, her face scrunched up in concern. Tyra searched her face for a moment before leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest. "Another one bites the dust."

"What?"

"When did you figure out you were in love with him?"

Julie gaped. When did she figure out she was in love with Tim?_ She was in love with Tim? _She thought suddenly of his dorky half-smiles, the heated looks he liked to send her, the easygoing, laconic way of him, and the way he made love to her like she was the only thing -

She blanched. _Made love_. Oh god. Oh no. She had used _that phrase_.

"Um," she stammered. "I think I just figured it out right now."

Tyra grimaced.

"Oh, this is so bad. This is so, so bad," Julie moaned, burying her face in her hands. "What am I going to do? I'm in love with _Tim Riggins_. This is terrible."

Demurely, Tyra took a sip of her coffee and let Julie ramble.

"No, seriously, Tyra. What am I going to do? I'm leaving for Rice in less than two weeks. I am _finally_ getting out of Dillon and going to college. Tim's... I have no idea what Tim's doing. Going back to San Antonio, I guess, except that he seems about as excited about that as for a root canal. He – he doesn't want to leave Dillon, Tyra. What am I supposed to do with that? I don't want to be with a guy who just wants to stick around his hometown and knock back six packs with his brother, but I miss him, I miss him _right now_, and it's only going to be ten times worse once I leave for college. Oh god."

"Whoa," Tyra muttered, as Julie shuddered to a halt, trying not to hyperventilate. "Calm down, Jules. Breathe."

"I don't even know if he likes me," Julie continued, whole new worlds of anxiety opening up to her. "I mean, maybe he doesn't even care. What if he doesn't care? This is just a fling to him."

"If he didn't care at all, he probably would have gotten bored and started ignoring you by now," Tyra said. "Trust me."

"I don't know what to do," Julie sighed, resting her chin on her knees and looking down at the table. "Any ideas?"

Tyra's expression was sympathetic, but she shrugged. "Nothing you can do, Jules. He's gotta figure that stuff out for himself, and you've got your own life to live. I don't know. Maybe if it's meant to be, it's meant to be, you know? Maybe it'll work itself out."

Julie nodded. "I feel stupid. This was supposed to just be a fling. I don't think I was supposed to... you know. Feel stuff."

"Yeah, well," Tyra said, rolling her eyes, "you can't help who you fall for, in the end."

"Guess not," Julie agreed.

Silence fell between them for a moment, and then Tyra nudged Julie's knee with her foot.

"Come on, sad sack. Let's go wander around some stores and look at clothes we can't afford."

Tim sighed. It was becoming a habit. He glanced over at Jordyn and saw that she was watching him, her blond baby eyebrows drawn together in a frown.

"Sucks, doesn't it?"

Jordyn puckered her lips at him, and then turned to look at her father, who too sat silently watching Tim.

"Pathetic, isn't it?" Billy said drily, addressing Jordyn.

Tim frowned at his brother, but didn't dignify that with a response.

"Look, why don't you go get those parts in Abilene for me tomorrow? Get you out of Dillon and out of my hair. I'm tired of looking at your sulky face."

"I'm not sulky," Tim retorted. Billy gave him a pointed look.

"She just went to Austin for the weekend, Tim. She's been gone all of... what? A day?"

"She left this morning," he replied sullenly.

"You really are pathetic. You're going to Abilene tomorrow, that's all there is to it."

"Yeah, all right," Tim agreed half-heartedly.

The three Rigginses silently contemplated the TV for several minutes before Billy spoke again.

"You know it's just gonna be that much worse in a few weeks, right, little brother?"

Tim stared at his beer, peeling the damp label away from the glass with one thumb. "I know," he mumbled, after a long pause. "Too late to do anything about that."

Tim left Dillon early the next morning, arriving at the address Billy had given him before noon. He picked up the parts, and decided to drive around the small city for a while in the hopes of killing some time and finding somewhere to eat.

He ended up eating at a truck stop outside of town, getting a burger and a tank of gas in one stop. Usually he'd have been pretty pleased to have a day out on his own with nothing but his truck, the radio and the open road, but today it wasn't enough. Mostly he was stuck on thinking about how much he missed Julie, and how much worse it was going to be when they went their separate ways.

He tried not to think of that as well as another year of classes, curfews, and papers. He tried not to, but it weighed on his mind all the same.

After eating and filling up his tank, Tim decided to just head home. There wasn't much point in moping around Abilene when he could just as easily mope in Dillon.

Tim stood at the register, eyeing the plastic racks of key chains and lighters while the girl behind the counter rung up his food and gas. His gaze landed on a rack of beaded bracelets and necklaces, and the small cardboard sign which advertised their prices in black felt pen. Hanging on one hook was a long string of tiny blue and white glass beads, long enough to either be a necklace, or be wrapped a few times around a wrist. Tim looked at it for a moment, before carefully pulling it off the rack and holding it out to the girl.

"This too, please," he said, reaching for his wallet.

"Okay, let's see!" Julie called from her perch on Tyra's tiny kitchen counter, where she sat sipping a cup of coffee. It was early Monday morning, and she had to head back to Dillon. Tyra was supposed to have left for work already, but they both kept getting distracted and delaying their inevitable departures.

Tyra emerged from her bedroom and did a little half-hearted pirouette for Julie, showing off the summer skirt, blouse, and pumps she was wearing. Julie gave a low whistle.

"Very nice. Very professional," she praised.

"Yeah?" Tyra asked, looking down at herself. "I always feel like a poser. Like I'm trying too hard or something."

"No way, it looks natural on you. Seriously. Would I lie to you?"

"You'd better not," Tyra said, smiling. She glanced at the clock on her microwave. "Ugh, I'm gonna be late. It won't matter what I'm wearing when my boss is biting my head off. Let's go."

Julie hopped off the counter and abandoned her coffee cup in the sink. She grabbed her overnight bag and her sunglasses and headed for the door, Tyra locking it behind them both.

They stood on the sidewalk, watching as the city woke up, neither one wanting to officially end the weekend.

"Well," Julie said glumly, jangling the keys in her hand.

"Just think," Tyra said, "not long from now, we'll only be three hours away from each other. That's an improvement."

"Definitely."

Tyra smiled at her. "See you soon, okay?"

"Not soon enough," Julie replied, stepping forward and hugging her friend. "Thanks for listening to all my angst about Tim."

"What are friends for?" Tyra said. She eyed Julie for a long moment before rolling her eyes. "Look, I think... I think you should just tell Tim how you feel. He might surprise you."

"Yeah, or I could be totally humiliated."

"Yeah, you could," Tyra agreed. "But if you don't, you could miss out."

"It doesn't change the fact that we're still going to different colleges in different cities."

"No, but you just never know."

"Yeah, I guess," Julie replied uncertainly.

"I gotta go. Drive safe, okay?"

"I will."

"Bye, Jules," Tyra said, turning and walking down the sidewalk, giving a little wave as she went. Julie leaned against her car door and watched her walk away. She looked sophisticated and cosmopolitan, a world away from the rebellious girl who once offered her a ride in her rusted-out High Sierra after Julie was abandoned in the middle of an Applebee's parking lot on a cold November night.

Getting into her car, Julie wondered how different she was going to be after a year of living in Houston.

Tim drove home from the garage on Monday night with a smile on his face, knowing who was waiting for him. He must have been wearing that expression for most of the afternoon, because Billy rolled his eyes and told him to leave at 4, promising to take his time closing up so Tim and Julie could have the house to themselves for a while.

He pulled into the driveway, parking his truck as quickly as he could. It wasn't until he was out of the truck and halfway up to the house that he saw that Julie was leaning in the doorway, waiting for him.

"Hey," he said, walking up to her and standing on the front stoop. The step up into the house left them standing at eye-level with one another.

"Hey," she replied, squinting at him in the afternoon sun and grinning. He'd never seen an expression quite like that on her face. Not when she was looking at him, anyway. She blushed and looked down.

"You have a fun time in Austin?" he asked.

"I did."

"Nice. How's Tyra?"

"She's good. She's great, actually."

"The baby asleep?"

"She is."

"You gonna let me into my house, or...?" Julie smiled and stepped back, allowing Tim to follow her inside. She stood watching him, shifting her feet somewhat nervously. If it wasn't for the smile on her face, Tim might have been worried.

"Come here," Tim said, reaching down and clasping her smaller hand in his. He led her back into his room, stopping her just long enough to kiss her.

"Is this your way of welcoming me back?" Julie asked, once he pulled away.

"Yep," Tim replied, his face splitting into a grin. He backed her up until her knees hit the edge of his bed and she sat down. "Lie back," he said. "I've got something for you."

"I'll just bet you do," Julie said with a roll of her eyes, but she flopped back on his bed all the same, her hair fanning out around her. She looked up at him, smiling. "Well?"

Tim couldn't help himself. He loved her. It was no use pretending otherwise – he was stupid in love with Julie Taylor.

"What?" Julie demanded, giggling. "You standing there staring at me is starting to weird me out."

Tim swallowed, looking down. He knelt on the bed next to her and lifted up one of Julie's arms. Digging the bracelet out of his pocket, he looped it twice around her slender wrist before tying the ends in a tight knot. Julie watched him, her eyes going back and forth between his face and the bracelet.

"What's this?" she asked softly. Tim let go of her hand, and she held it above her head to examine his gift.

"I had to go to Abilene for some parts and I saw it. Made me think of you, I guess," he said, stretching out on the bed next to her.

"Hm," Julie said, turning her arm above her to examine the tiny blue and white glass beads. "And is there any particular reason that you had to give it to me while I'm lying down?"

"Nah, that's just how I like you best – spread out on my bed. It'd be better if you had no shirt on, though."

"Pig," Julie sniffed, the smile on her face negating the insult. She turned on her side and looked at him. "Thank you. I love it."

Tim smiled as she leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss against his lips. He kissed her back, reaching down to play with the hem of her tank top. Julie sighed, pressing her hips into his and pulling at his grey, button-down work shirt. She frowned, pulling away enough to yank at the buttons.

"They don't want to come undone," she said breathlessly, tugging harder.

"Here," Tim said, sitting up and yanking his shirt open. A few buttons flew off, ricocheting off the walls and furniture before disappearing into the gloom of his bedroom.

"Oops," Julie giggled. She sat up, pulling her tank top over her head and tossing it aside.

"No worries," Tim said. "Not like the boss is gonna fire me for missing a few buttons."

"I hope not," Julie smiled, pushing insistently on his shoulder. Tim rolled onto his back, watching as she sat back on her heels and eyed him, her expression an odd mixture of curiosity and nervousness.

She leaned over and began fiddling with the fly of his jeans, his stomach clenching as her long hair brushed against his bare skin.

"What are you up to?" he asked, as she pulled his jeans down over his hips. He hissed when he felt her warm hand brush against his erection.

"Oh, nothing," she mumbled. There was no trace of coyness in her tone, and Tim smiled to see the funny little frown on her face as she bent closer, concentrating. He didn't have the wherewithal to tease her, however, for she chose that moment to swipe her tongue across the head of his dick.

"Oh, _fuck_," he cursed, as she took him into her mouth.

"Hm?" she inquired. The vibration hummed right up him, hitting him in the gut. He moaned. Julie paused, lifting her head and looking at him. "Should I stop?"

"No!" Tim yelped. She wasn't seriously considering stopping, was she?

Julie raised an eyebrow. "What's the magic word?" she smirked, her eyes glinting maliciously.

"_Please_," Tim replied instantly, any semblance of his pride completely immaterial to him. He didn't care what he had to say or do so long as Julie _did not stop_.

"Okay," she said, giving a theatrical, world-weary sigh before abruptly taking him deep into her mouth and sucking, hard.

Tim gripped his sheets in his fists, barely resisting the urge to squirm. For whatever reason, it came as a surprise to him that Julie Taylor gave pretty killer head. He hadn't asked before and she hadn't offered, and it wasn't a problem because it wasn't like he was hurting for sex. But now, as Julie dragged her teeth ever so gently against him, he wondered what the hell he'd been thinking.

"Ah, Julie," he hissed. She laid her hand on his stomach, right below his bellybutton, holding his hips still. He strained against her as she sucked harder, pulling back to swirl her tongue around the tip.

Tim groaned deeply; the intense pull of her mouth was too much. He moaned, Julie's hands replacing her mouth as he came. He felt Julie gingerly clean his stomach off and tuck him back in his boxers; all he could do was lie there and pant. It took him almost a full minute to gather his wits about him enough to open his eyes. Julie was watching him, crouched there in nothing but her plain purple bra and her cut-offs, her face flushed, her eyes dark and serious.

He sat up, grabbing her firmly by the shoulders and kissing her, pushing her back onto the bed. Using one arm to support his weight, he reached down and unbuttoned her jeans, stealing a hand inside. He watched her closely as he slid his hand under the waistband of her underwear. Her mouth opened slightly in a soft moan when he brushed a finger against her, finding her soaking wet.

"You enjoyed that, huh?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her. He wouldn't have thought it possible, but she blushed an even deeper shade of scarlet.

He eased his middle finger inside her, tracing her clit as he went. She jolted, gripping his forearm tightly with one hand.

"You close?" he asked, his voice low.

"Yeah," she replied tightly, nodding. She frowned, looking almost pained.

"Shhh," Tim hushed her, leaning in to brush his lips against hers. She kissed him back, her hands coming up to tangle in his hair. He hooked his finger inside her and stroked firmly, pressing his thumb against her clit.

"Tim," she moaned, breaking the kiss.

Continuing to stroke her, he kissed down her neck to her chest, where he pushed her bra out of the way to take one hard nipple into his mouth.

"Oh god," she sighed, her hips arching up off the bed and into his hand. Her hands gripped his hair firmly, holding him there. He scraped his teeth across her sensitive skin, smiling against her when she trembled. He continued to stroke her and a few seconds later she dug her fingernails into his scalp and cried out, her whole body tensing as she came.

He pulled his hand free and collapsed on top of her as she panted brokenly, using her abdomen as a pillow. She brushed her fingers through his hair and Tim closed his eyes, humming with pleasure. He loved it when she did that.

"Whoa," she breathed after a minute, her chest heaving with a tired sigh.

"I knew that bracelet was a smart move," he said, lifting his head to smirk at her.

"Ugh," she replied, shooting him a disgusted look. "Way to ruin the moment, you... _moment-ruiner_."

Tim laughed. Julie's indignant outrage had become one of his favourite things to witness, and he enjoyed provoking her into it as often as possible.

"Sorry," he said, his words completely lacking in contrition. "Wanna get out of here once Billy gets home? Go for a drive?"

"Right now I don't think I'm capable of doing anything except lying here, but yeah, I guess we could," Julie sighed, her annoyance obviously fading. "You probably owe me ice cream, though."

"Ice cream it is," Tim mumbled against her skin, shifting and pressing a kiss to her chest, right above her still-pounding heart.

After spending an hour dozing in and out of consciousness, they finally dragged themselves out of bed and got dressed when Billy arrived home. Leaving Jordyn with her dad, they got into Tim's truck, the oppressively hot Texas day not getting much better as twilight loomed.

They drove in silence but for the radio, which featured Slammin' Sammy Meade discussing the Panthers' pre-season, with only cursory mentions of the Lions. Dillon was quiet, forced into stillness by the relentless dog days of summer. Hardly anyone was out, just a few cars and trucks outside Fran's as the sun went down, bringing slight relief from the heat.

Tim turned onto a service road, taking them out to the cliffs on the western edge of town, where he'd taken her once before. He parked and got out. Julie followed, scuffing her Chucks in the dust. It was breezy out here, and felt cooler than the streets of town. A train whistle sounded in the distance.

"I can see why you like it out here," Julie said, coming to stand by Tim at the back of the truck, where he was bringing down the gate on the truck and shaking out a blanket.

"It's peaceful," he replied, sitting up on the edge of the bed and gesturing for Julie to join him. She did, hopping up to sit next to him, their thighs a hairsbreadth apart.

"So..." Julie said, tucking her hair behind her ear. Tim turned to look at her, waiting for her to go on. She cleared her throat. "Um, I missed you this weekend."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I missed you, too," he said, smiling a funny half-smile at her.

Julie looked away, back out over the horizon. Her eyes landed on the edge of the cliff, where the scrubby grass fell sharply away to the abandoned sand quarry below. She leaned forward a little, trying to see the bottom.

"That's a pretty steep drop," she observed.

"Yeah, wouldn't want to fall down that one," Tim said, leaning forward, too. "Couple times I came close, stumbling around out here, drunk."

"Seriously?" Julie asked. "And that didn't scare you off?"

He shrugged. Julie eyed him dubiously for a moment before speaking again. "My dad used to say that you were fearless. Is that true? Isn't there anything you're afraid of?"

Tim shook his head very slightly.

"Okay, well, there has to be _something_," she insisted.

Tim shrugged again, smiling teasingly at her.

"How about I tell you something that I'm afraid of, and then you can tell me something that you're afraid of."

"All right," he said.

"Okay. I am afraid of becoming just like my parents."

He frowned, confused. "What's wrong with your parents?"

"There's nothing wrong with my parents. They're great. They're happy. They're just not me."

Tim nodded.

"But the thing is... I don't know. Lately I've been feeling like maybe some of the things they have, I want, too. And then I'm like, what if I'm just resisting that because I want to do my own thing, you know? Just because I don't want to feel like there wasn't another option. Does that make sense?"

"Sure," Tim replied. "Kinda."

"Well? What about you?"

Tim blew out an exasperated breath. "I don't know, Jules. I'm not real good at this kind of thing."

Julie watched his anxious profile for a moment before moving closer and pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

"It's okay," she said. "Maybe some other time."

Tim turned his head and regarded her silently for a long time before finally exhaling heavily and shaking his head. "To be honest, I guess I'm afraid of becoming just like my parents, too."

Julie blinked, her own admission suddenly seeming self-centered and juvenile. She only knew the watered-down town gossip version of Tim's family history, but she had at least a sense of what being like Tim's parents might entail.

"I'm..." she began, her voice soft and hesitant, "I guess I don't know everything about it, but from what I can tell? You don't have to worry about that at all."

"Thanks," Tim said softly. His hand was resting on his thigh; Julie reached over and laced her fingers with his. "They get a bad rap, but weren't all bad, you know, my folks."

Julie leaned her head against his shoulder and nodded, silently urging him to go on.

"Mostly they just weren't around... My dad wasn't too bad when he was sober, and my mom, well, it wasn't her fault she was that way."

"What way?"

"She was sick with something, like, mentally. I'm not sure what was wrong with her. She left when I was real little. She was always in and out of the hospital, and she drank 'cause of it, but that just made things worse. She had real bad mood swings, I guess you could call them. My dad's got a temper on him, but he didn't have nothing on the way she could just turn on you. She was real sweet a lot of the time, though."

Julie said nothing, trying to silently communicate that he could go on if he wanted. He shifted next to her, clearing his throat.

"Don't usually talk about that," he said. "Sorry."

"Don't say sorry," Julie urged him. "You're... It's okay for you to talk about that stuff if you want to or you need to."

Tim turned, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and squeezing her hand in his.

"Do you know where she is now?" Julie asked. She felt Tim shrug under her cheek.

"Not sure. Last thing we heard she was in some hospital in El Paso, but that was a while ago, before my dad left and Billy came home to look after me."

"Do you ever think about finding her, getting in touch? Or with your dad?"

"I used to," he said quietly. "Not so much anymore. I got a different family, now, I guess."

Julie nodded, not pressing him. She tried to imagine growing up in a home like Tim's, and found that she really couldn't. Her parents may have been overprotective and frequently embarrassing, but they were certainly better than the alternative.

She shook her head unhappily, at a loss for words, and squeezed his hand again.

"It's all right, Jules," he reassured her, his voice light. He held their joined hands up and placed a kiss on hers. "I turned out okay, in the end."

"Yeah, you did," Julie replied softly. She sighed, pressing her cheek against the soft, worn material of his plaid shirt. "Could you promise me something, though?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Could you... Could you try not to drink so much that you pass out, anymore?"

There was a long silence, and then she felt Tim nod.

"Okay, Jules."


	15. Chapter 15

Julie had one week before she left for college. One week until she and her parents packed all of her stuff into her dad's SUV and drove down to Houston. One week until she finally left Dillon behind.

One week until she had to say goodbye to Tim.

Staring glumly into her bowl of cereal, Julie wondered how she had gone from wishing the summer away to wishing it would last just a little bit longer.

She was eagerly anticipating leaving for college, but with each passing day, she became more troubled by the thought of leaving Tim behind. Several times since getting back from Austin she had been on the verge of telling him how she felt, but each time she stopped herself. What was the point, after all? She may be in love with him, but she was still leaving. She knew only too well what cold comfort those words were when said by someone as they left you.

Besides, she couldn't be sure how Tim felt about any of it, as they'd not talked about it. For all she knew, he didn't care at all. The thought of that was much worse, and so Julie said nothing.

"-so there are only going to be about a dozen of us," Tami said, looking at Julie expectantly. Julie looked up at her mother; she had no idea what she was talking about. Off what must have been Julie's utterly blank expression, Tami frowned. "Are you even listening, Jules?"

"No, sorry," Julie replied sheepishly. "Guess I'm not quite awake yet."

"All right, well, Gracie's party is on Saturday, and your father and I were wondering if maybe the Rigginses wanted to come. We've got plenty of room, lots of cupcakes."

"Um, I have no idea, but I'll ask Tim when I'm over there."

"How's Riggins doing?" her father asked, joining her mother in the kitchen, decked out in his East Dillon red and black and searching distractedly for a clean coffee mug.

"He's fine," Julie replied, poking at her now soggy cereal.

"Is he gearing up for college?"

"I don't know, dad," Julie sighed.

"Here, sweetie," Tami said, handing her one of Gracie's party invitations. Julie took it, then stood and dumped her cereal in the sink, using her mother's interruption as an escape. She didn't want to talk about Tim going to college or her going to college, or _anything _about college. In fact, she'd be happy if everyone pretended the whole thing didn't even exist for the next seven days.

Tim opened the front door of his house, smiling to find Julie sitting on the living room floor, Jordyn on her back next to her, entranced with the zoo-themed play gym positioned over her.

"Hey," Julie greeted him, looking up with a smile. "Look who's here, Jordyn!"

Jordyn turned her head, smiling at him. Tim couldn't help but smile back; it was amazing how much she had grown in the less than three months since he'd been home from college.

"I have something for you," Julie said, standing up and rummaging around in her bag. She came over and passed him a sparkly, pink piece of notepaper adorned with several Disney princesses. Tim looked up at her, confused. "Open it," she urged, nodding.

Tim opened the card, recognizing Mrs. Coach's tidy cursive along the top of the card, where she had written his name, Jordyn's, Billy's, and Mindy's. It was an invitation to a birthday party.

"Gracie is going to be three on Saturday, and we're having a party. It's not a big deal. But my mom wanted you all to know that you're invited, if you want," Julie explained, watching him somewhat apprehensively.

"Do you want me to come?" Tim asked.

"Yeah, of course! I mean, if you want to. You don't have to," she shrugged, looking away.

Tim smiled. "You're in luck. Disney princess parties are my favourite kind of party."

Julie giggled, caught off guard. "That's not what I heard."

"Oh yeah?" Tim asked, tossing the card onto the kitchen counter and leaning in close. "What have you heard?"

"Oh, you know," Julie said, rolling her eyes despite the blush he saw creeping up her neck. "I heard you liked your parties with kegs, rally girls... The usual."

"Hm," Tim replied, playing along. "Those were some good parties, back in the day. But there was always something missing, you know?"

"Oh really?"

"Really."

"And what was that, the Dallas Cowboys' Cheerleaders?"

"No," Tim said, shaking his head. "The thing missing was the coach's daughter. She shoulda been over talking to me, but I guess she had better things to do."

Julie glared at him, blushing fiercely. Tim grinned, and leaned down to kiss her.

"That woulda really got everyone going," Tim said against her lips, pulling her close. "Tim Riggins and Julie Taylor, the coach's daughter."

"Pfft," Julie replied, extricating herself from his grasp after one last kiss. "I probably would have been ripped to shreds by rally girls, like a pack of hyenas on a gazelle."

Tim laughed. "Pack of hyenas, huh?"

"Absolutely," she nodded. "Listen, I can't stay tonight because my mom and I have to go pick up some dorm room stuff when she gets off work, but I'm free tomorrow night."

"Okay," Tim replied. Usually he wouldn't have minded, but the reminder of her impending departure – and his own – made his good mood evaporate almost immediately.

Julie tilted her head, giving a sympathetic little frown. "I know," she said, stepping forward and kissing him again. "Tomorrow night?"

"Yeah," he breathed. She smiled apologetically and shouldered her bag, giving him a little wave as she disappeared out the front door.

Julie stood arranging vanilla cupcakes on platters in the kitchen, her baby sister and several other toddlers wreaking havoc in the backyard while their parents looked on.

Tami came into the house through the sliding door, carrying an extra roll of mauve crepe paper. "How's the lemonade coming, sweetie?"

"All done – it's in the fridge."

"Oh, bless you," Tami said breathlessly as the doorbell rang. She disappeared down the front hallway to answer it. Julie heard her mother greeting the new arrivals, and looked up to see Billy and Mindy go by, Jordyn in tow. Tami began to follow them, but the doorbell rang again.

"How many people did you invite, mom?" Julie asked incredulously after her, glancing up to find Tim standing in the kitchen doorway.

"Hey," he said. "You look cute."

She looked down at the peasant blouse and jean shorts she was wearing, and shrugged. "Thanks."

Tami reappeared with more guests that Julie didn't recognize; more parents from Gracie's daycare, she guessed.

"Tim, would you mind helping Jules bring those cupcakes out in a few minutes?" Tami asked as she ushered their guests to the backyard.

"No ma'am," Tim replied, smiling mischievously at Julie. "I never mind giving Jules a helping hand."

Julie rolled her eyes at him, smiling despite herself. The patio door slid closed, and they were left alone.

"You got something right here," Tim said, leaning in and lifting a hand towards her face.

"It's probably icing," Julie replied, flustered. Tim bent down suddenly and kissed her cheek, his tongue darting out to lick up the sugary topping. Julie's mouth fell open.

"Yep," Tim smirked, standing up. "It was icing."

"Did you seriously just lick my cheek?"

"Mmm-hmm," he said, leaning on the counter. He reached over, nabbing a finger of icing from the nearby mixing bowl. He reached out as though to wipe it on Julie's face, but his hand came back around and he wiped it on his own face, right on his cheek. "Oops," he smirked, looking at her expectantly.

"My parents are right there," Julie warned him, glancing hesitantly at the patio door.

Tim merely shrugged, continuing to smile at her.

"Fine," she grumbled, rolling her eyes. "Come here."

She leaned up to kiss him, then snuck her hand up and wiped the icing off with her index finger, popping it into her mouth and sucking it clean, hollowing her cheeks for his benefit.

He glowered at her. "That was low."

Julie smirked at him, nudging him gently out of the way so she could pick up one of the platters. "Quit messing around and help me with these, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said cheerfully, picking up another tray and following her.

The two of them hung back throughout the party, letting the little kids and parents do their thing while they sat together at the picnic table, making themselves sick with too much lemonade and too many cupcakes.

"So," Julie said, smiling as her father surprised Gracie (and Tami) with what was probably a rather ill-advised _piñata._

"So?" Tim asked, turning to glance at her.

"So yesterday was my last day babysitting Jordyn," she continued carefully, "and I leave for college the day after tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know."

"You're leaving soon, too, right?"

"Next week."

Julie nodded, watching as her father tried to hang the ipiñata/i from a low branch on the mesquite tree which dominated the yard. "Are you excited, or nervous, or...?"

Tim leaned back from the table and dropped his hands in his lap. "Neither. Mostly I don't care, to be honest."

"You know," Julie said softly, her knee bumping against his under the table, "it wouldn't be the end of the world if you decided that college isn't for you, you know? It's not like it's either San Antonio State or the unemployment line. You _do_ have options."

Tim shrugged, unconvinced.

"I'm serious. What about cars? You like fixing cars, right? You're good at it?"

Tim didn't reply, but simply shrugged again.

"Well, why not go to school and become a mechanic, for real? Do your apprenticeship or whatever."

Tim glanced sideways at her, his gaze contemplative.

"Look, I just... If you want to go back to San Antonio State and get your degree and see what happens with that and with football, then I think you should do that. That would be awesome. But if you want to stay in Dillon and make a life here, that's good, too. There's nothing wrong with that. Dillon's... Dillon's not a bad place, Tim. Not really."

"I know that," he replied. "You're leaving, though. Aren't you?"

"Yeah, I guess," she said, uncomfortable with the focus suddenly turning to her. "I mean, yeah, I'm going away for school. After that, who knows."

"Always had you pegged for the type to take off for school and the biggest city you could find and never look back, except maybe for Thanksgiving and Christmas."

Julie frowned, looking down at her lap. "Yeah. So did I, actually."

"You feel different now?"

"No. Maybe," she hedged. "I don't know – I'm confused, you know? I've been thinking about getting out of here all year, and now that it's almost time to go, I feel like I just want to be 15 years old again, heading off to school with my parents. It's stupid."

"It's not stupid," Tim said softly. "It's okay to be scared. But you still wanna go?"

Julie bit her bottom lip, knowing the question was loaded.

"Yeah," she said quietly. "Yeah, I still wanna go."

Tim didn't reply. He just nodded his head slightly, and took her hand in his.

After picking up her last paycheque from Applebee's, Julie drove to the Rigginses'. She took a longer route than necessary, winding her way through Dillon.

She didn't want to admit it, not even to herself, but the truth was that Julie was going to miss her little town.

She parked across the street, relieved that Tim's truck wasn't in the driveway. She wanted to talk to Mindy, and Mindy alone. Palming her car keys in one hand, Julie walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

"Hey Julie," Mindy greeted her, a cranky-looking Jordyn balanced on one hip. "Are you here to pick up your babysitting money? I've got it here."

Mindy disappeared back into the house, returning a moment later with an envelope filled with cash. Julie took it.

"Thanks," she said.

"No, thank you," Mindy replied, shaking her head. "You've been a huge help. Listen, I'm sorry if I was kind of a bitch about Tim. I just worry, you know? He's like my little brother, now."

"It's okay," Julie shrugged, glancing away awkwardly. Mindy didn't seem to notice.

"Don't know what we're gonna do without you, but you're gonna have fun at college, just like Tyra. Two peas in a pod, you two. Personally, I can't imagine anything worse than four more years of school."

Julie nodded. "That's actually kind of what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, um. I know we're not exactly best friends or anything and I don't know what you want to do, but, well... I talked to my manager at Applebee's, and he said that if you wanted, I could vouch for you, and you could interview for my position."

"Really?" Mindy asked, her expression wary, like she sensed Julie was messing with her in some way.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, but I just thought, you know... The tips aren't as good, but the benefits are decent, and they're pretty flexible with the hours and everything, so you might not have to rely tons on day care."

"Oh, wow," Mindy breathed. She looked down. "Billy's gonna be so happy."

"What about you?" Julie asked, watching her closely. "Are you happy?"

"I like stripping," Mindy replied honestly, giving a shrug. "I get to dance, all my friends are there; I mean, it's the only real job I've ever had. But I don't know. Dillon's not a big place. People look at you different after you've had a baby. Maybe... Maybe you look at yourself different, too."

"You don't have to take it if you don't want to," Julie said, holding out the scrap of paper with her manager's name and number on it, "but he's willing to see you if you want to give it a shot."

"Thank you," Mindy said softly, taking the paper. Suddenly, she grabbed Julie in a tight, one-armed hug, Jordyn squished between them.

"You're welcome," Julie replied, once Mindy released her. She was surprised to see tears shining in her eyes.

"Listen," Mindy said, blinking her tears away. "We never could have done this without you. Your whole family, really. They've been real good to all of us."

"It's nothing," Julie replied, embarrassed. "You could have gotten an interview with them anytime."

Mindy regarded Julie, her expression kind but world-weary. "No, I couldn't. Not without you vouching for me."

Julie nodded, understanding. There were certain things she was _not_ going to miss about her little town.

"I'd better go," she said, hopping off the stoop. "I've still got a lot of packing to do."

"You say goodbye to Tim yet?" Mindy asked, shifting Jordyn on her hip.

Julie looked down, shaking her head. "No, I haven't."

"It's hard," Mindy said sympathetically. "Sometimes things work out, though, you know? I mean, look at me."

"Yeah, look at you," Julie replied, smiling. Mindy grinned back.

Mindy lifted one of Jordyn's chubby arms in a wave. "Say bye-bye to Julie, Jordyn! Say bye-bye!"

"Bye, Jordyn!" Julie called as she walked away, waving. The baby allowed her arm to be waved a few times, and then she dissolved in tears, burying her face in her mother's hair.

Julie drove away, watching Mindy and Jordyn shrink in the rear view mirror. She hoped that Mindy would take to waitressing better than she did to stripping. She hoped her manager would be good to her. She hoped that no mean kid ever made fun of Jordyn because her mother used to be a dancer. She hoped that Mindy and Billy were really happy together. She hoped that Tim somehow found his way and a place for himself in the world.

Deep down, she hoped it somehow included her.

Julie stretched a long strip of packing tape over the flaps of a cardboard box, one of many littering her bedroom. Satisfied that it was sealed, she grabbed a Sharpie and wrote "books" on it in large, neat letters. She clicked the cap back on the pen and tossed it onto her desk, sighing tiredly.

Packing was a pain, but there was something to be said about monotonous, time-consuming tasks at times like these.

She surveyed her bedroom, trying to decide what to tackle next, when the doorbell rang. She was home alone; her dad was working late, and her mom and Gracie were at some parent-and-toddler playgroup thing at the community centre.

"Coming!" she called, manoeuvring around the boxes as the doorbell rang again.

She skidded to a breathless halt at the door and opened it to find Tim standing on her doorstep, keys hanging limply in one hand.

"Hey," she said, biting her lip. She had no idea how to handle the whole goodbye thing; she wasn't even sure if they were going to have one.

"Hey," he replied, his expression serious. "Mindy told us what you did for her."

"Oh."

"I wanted to say thank you, from her, but from me and Billy, too. And Jordyn."

Julie shrugged, embarrassed. "It's not a big deal."

"Yeah, it is. You know it is, for us. So thank you."

"You're welcome," she said softly. They regarded one another in tense silence for a minute before Tim cleared his throat.

"So this is it, huh?"

"Yeah," Julie sighed, looking down at her feet. "I guess this is it."

There was another long pause before Tim spoke again.

"You really sure you've gotta go?" he asked quietly.

Pained, Julie merely looked at him and nodded.

"I wish, uh," he cleared his throat. "I wish you could stay. We could stay."

"Tim..." she said helplessly, looking up at him, willing him to understand. "I'm eighteen years old, and I have a chance to go to college. I can't not go. I _want_ to go. I'd regret it forever if I didn't."

"I know," he nodded, looking down. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay... You've got school too, though. Right?"

Tim shrugged, and Julie was struck with the sudden certainty that Tim wasn't going to go back to college. Even if he physically made himself go, it wouldn't take. He just didn't want it. He probably never had.

"I don't know how you feel about it," he said after a pause, "but maybe we could keep in touch. Email or something."

"The whole long distance college thing hasn't worked out for either of us so far," Julie noted.

"I wouldn't say it hasn't worked out for me, in the end," Tim replied, his mouth quirking up in half a smile. Julie blushed.

"So... We'll see how it goes?" she asked.

"Yeah. We'll see how it goes. All you can do, really." There was a pause during which Tim just watched her, his expression inscrutable. Julie became embarrassed, and, looking down, cleared her throat.

"What do you think is gonna happen?" she asked after a moment, glancing back up at him.

Tim shrugged. "Dunno. You're gonna go to Rice. I'm gonna go back to San Antonio. Doesn't seem to be much use in planning things out."

Julie nodded. "Just put one foot in front of the other and hope for the best."

"Yeah," Tim said, reaching up and scratching his head. "Listen, you want me to drive you down there?"

"My parents are gonna drop me off. I've got a lot of stuff to take with me."

"I've got my truck," he offered, hopeful.

"I think they want to see their baby off to college or something," she replied.

They stood silently, neither one knowing what to say.

"I'm an idiot," Tim mused after a pause, smiling humourlessly. "One of these days I oughta fall for a girl who doesn't want to leave town as soon as she can, for a change."

Julie's eyes prickled with unshed tears. "You're not an idiot," she said softly. "Don't say those things about yourself. Please."

Tim just shrugged, scuffing at the pavement of the front stoop with his boot.

"You want to come inside?"

Tim looked up at her, surprised and wary. "You sure?"

"Yeah," she said, resisting the urge to shrug it off like it wasn't a big deal. "I want you to. I want to... say goodbye to you."

He stared at her for a moment before nodding. "Okay."

Julie reached down and took his hand, leading him into the empty house and closing the door behind them. She led the way, going back into her bedroom.

"My parents won't be home for a while," she said, keeping her voice low. They didn't have to worry about being heard, but there was something about this moment that demanded quietness.

Tim stood silently looking around her bedroom; he seemed tall and incongruous in the space. He met her eyes, and Julie hated that she couldn't tell what he was thinking.

Julie swallowed her nervousness. It was one thing to have sex at Tim's place or his truck; that was an escape from reality. It was totally different to have sex in the bedroom she'd slept in since she was 13 and her family moved to Dillon. Even Matt had never been with her in this room. This was intimate, and she had to let Tim right into her life. She glanced up at his serious face, half-obscured by his messy hair, and felt her heart squeeze with longing.

Who was she kidding? She had let him into her life long before this moment.

She toed off her sandals and began unbuttoning her shirt, letting her clothes fall to the floor. She looked down at her bed, suddenly feeling too self-conscious to meet his eyes.

Tim stepped into her space, tipping her face up to his and kissing her. Julie stood up on her toes, kissing him back and pulling at the buttons on his shirt. They stumbled awkwardly backwards onto her bed, kissing slowly and removing one another's clothes.

They came together quietly and urgently, Julie afraid to say anything for fear of ruining this one perfect, bittersweet time. Tim reverted to his taciturn self, his eyes sombre as he held her face gently in his hands.

As Julie trembled in silence and Tim panted brokenly against her skin, she felt words beating against her chest, and she bit her lip hard to keep them in: _I'll miss you. I wish things could be different. I love you._

There was no point in saying those things now. It would only hurt them both more.

Instead, Julie closed her eyes against her tears and tried to cement in her memory the feeling of his body against hers, of their harsh breathing, of his heart pounding, and hers.

They kissed goodbye in the hallway, lingering there so long that when they finally broke apart, it was only because the sound of Coach's SUV pulling into the driveway disturbed them. Julie pulled away, and gave him a gentle push on the chest with both hands.

"Go," she said, turning away from him. She stood still in the foyer for a moment before walking down the hall and disappearing without a backwards glance. Tim heard the bathroom door close, and he was alone. Looking down, he opened the front door and walked out onto the stoop. In the light above the garage door, he could see Coach's SUV was parked up next to his truck in the driveway.

Coach came around the front of the vehicles, his arms loaded down with playbooks and a small stack of game tapes. His hair stood up on end, which Tim understood to mean he'd had a long, frustrating day of practice.

"Hey, Riggins. What're you doing here?"

"Came to drop something off for Jules," he fibbed, gesturing lamely back at the house with his keys.

Coach nodded, scrutinizing him. "When do you head back to San Antonio?"

"Later this week."

"Looking forward to a new season?"

Tim shrugged. Coach looked down, then back up at Tim, cocking his head. "You got time for a game of ping pong?"

Smiling, Tim nodded.

Twenty minutes later, "best two out of three" had become "just keep playing until Coach finally wins one."

"So, what do you think?" Coach asked, serving Tim the ball.

"About what, Coach?" Tim replied, sending the ball back.

"About _college_, Riggins."

"Honestly?"

"Yeah, honestly. Of course honestly."

"College is junk, sir," Tim stated plainly. "I can't stand it."

There was a long pause before Coach spoke again. "Nobody said it was supposed to be a trip to the circus, Riggins."

"I know. It's just, last year, I guess I just kept wondering what the point is, what I'm supposed to be doing there."

"The point is that you're getting an education."

"Yeah," Tim sighed. They had stopped playing, Coach poised in the middle of a serve, eyeing Tim severely. "But for what?"

"For the opportunities it gives you, Riggins," Coach replied, starting to sound annoyed. "Don't play dumb with me; I've known you too long for you to get away with that."

"What if those opportunities aren't ones I want?"

"You don't know –"

"You know what _I_ like to do?" Tim asked, staring down at the paddle in his hands. There was a pause, and he could feel Coach watching him closely.

"What?"

"I like working on my truck. Working on other people's trucks, their cars. I like working with my hands. I like fixing stuff around the house. I want to get my own house and fix it up. Or build my own house," he mused, looking up at Coach. "Why do I need to spend four years in college getting a degree I'm not gonna use when we both know I'm never gonna make the NFL?"

Coach sighed, looking down at the green table that stretched between them. "I think it's important that you try," he said finally.

"I did try," Tim replied.

"Look," Coach said, putting his paddle down on the table and looking squarely at Tim. "I don't know what you're supposed to do with your life. No one knows that. There's no answer I can give you. I didn't know it for myself when I was your age. You just gotta get out there, do what feels right, and try to find a purpose for yourself. Try to make something of yourself, of your life, of your opportunities. That's all. Don't make it more complicated than it has to be."

Tim stared down at the paddle resting against his palm, unsure what to say.

"And Riggins?"

Tim looked up to see Coach staring at him, his expression serious and intense.

"Don't sell yourself short just because you're scared, or because it seems like too much to take on. You've got people who believe in you."

Tim stared, unable to speak even if he had known what to say.

"Life's like football. Just listen to your gut. It's all in there, what you need to know. Just trust yourself."

Tim left not long after, their ping pong game effectively abandoned when Coach noticed the late hour. Driving home with the windows rolled down and the hot Texas night soaking into every pore, Tim began to think of tomorrow, and next week, and the week after that, and the months and years to follow, and the things he truly wanted to do. The man he wanted to become.

_It's all in there, what you need to know. Just trust yourself._

Julie took a long shower after Tim left, allowing her plenty of time to cry her eyes out. She felt exhausted, but found she couldn't sleep. She settled for staring up at her bedroom ceiling, ear buds in to tune out the world.

She heard a faint knock and called for whoever was there to come in. Her mom appeared in the doorway. Julie pulled her ear buds out and sat up. "Sorry," she said. "I didn't even hear you come home. How was playgroup?"

"It was good, it was real good. We got home a little while ago," Tami said, coming into the room and sitting down on Julie's bed. "I got an earful about the Panthers and the Lions and whatever else, of course, but what else is new?"

Julie smiled ruefully. "I think I'd start to worry if you _didn't _get an earful about the Panthers and the Lions from random strangers."

Tami smiled, gazing fondly at her daughter. "I'm sure gonna miss my girl," she said wistfully, reaching out and tucking a loose strand of hair behind Julie's ear.

Julie swallowed the lump in her throat and smiled. "Let's not say goodbye yet, okay?"

"Okay," Tami agreed, laughing breathlessly and sitting up straighter. "Gracie Belle and I saw a strange sight on our street earlier."

"Oh?"

"We sure did. We saw Tim Riggins driving on out of here."

Julie blanched a little, and it did not escape Tami's notice. "Yeah, turns out he was in the garage, playing ping pong with your father. Your dad was still in there, mumbling about he can't ever find a halfway decent ping pong opponent."

"Oh!" Julie exclaimed. "Oh, yeah, I know. I mean, I was in the shower, but I heard them in there."

"Right," Tami said, watching Julie closely. She stared for so long that Julie looked down, uncomfortable.

"Did you..." Tami paused, glancing away and weighing her words carefully before continuing. "Was something going on between you and Tim?"

Mother and daughter regarded one another for a long moment before Julie looked down at her lap.

"Yeah," she admitted quietly, the importance of secrecy seeming silly to her now. "But it's over."

"Oh, honey."

"I'm sorry," Julie whispered, her voice breaking as her eyes stung with tears.

"Sweetheart, what on earth are you sorry for?" Tami exclaimed, keeping her voice as low as possible. She reached out and gripped Julie's knee tenderly. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. I just want to know that you're okay. That nothing... _bad_ happened."

"Nothing bad happened," Julie said, swiping at the tears that had begun to overflow from her irritated, tear-swollen eyes. Her head throbbed, and she suddenly felt exhausted all over again. "We... I don't know. We were lonely, I guess. It just kind of happened."

"Come here," Tami said, gathering Julie into a hug. "Did you think I would be angry?"

"I don't know," Julie mumbled, her voice muffled in Tami's shoulder, "I guess I thought you and Dad would be mad at Tim, or you'd judge me or think something was wrong with me."

Tami squeezed her tighter. "I would never judge you, baby. I just don't ever want to see you get hurt."

"I know."

"Good," Tami said, pulling away. "So it's over?"

"Yeah," Julie said, futilely attempting again to dry her damp face. "Summer's over, so it's over."

"I'm sorry, honey."

"Thanks," Julie said, smiling wearily at her mother. "Do we have to tell Dad?"

Tami smiled at her, and shook her head. "No, sweetie. I think this one can stay between us girls."

"Okay," she replied. They regarded one another in silence for a moment before Julie spoke again. "Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"It was an accident, but, um... I think I fell in love with him," she said, her voice wavering as a lump rose in her throat.

"Oh, sweetheart," Tami sighed, pulling her back into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry."

Julie leaned into her mother's embrace, and let all her tears come down.

Early the next morning, Julie stood in her bedroom, quietly taking in the strange emptiness. A lot of her things were staying, of course, but her essentials were packed and in the SUV, leaving the room feeling strange and impersonal. They were leaving for Houston just as soon as Gracie finished breakfast and the last boxes made their way into the trunk.

A knock on her door shook Julie from her reverie.

"Come in," she said, turning around. Her mother poked her head in.

"Honey, Tim Riggins is here," she said, almost apologetically.

"He is?" Julie asked faintly.

"Yeah, he's out front."

"Oh... Okay. I'll go talk to him."

"All right, sweetie. We've gotta leave pretty soon, though, okay?"

"I know."

Julie walked slowly to the front door, opening it to find Tim in the driveway, lifting the last of her boxes into the back of the SUV.

"You don't have to do that," she said, coming outside into the warm morning and closing the door behind her. She walked over to stand next to him.

"I know," he replied, squaring the last box away. He brushed his hands off on his jeans and smiled at her. "Morning."

"Morning. Tim... What are you doing here?"

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm probably making all kinds of trouble for you with your parents-"

"No, it's not that. It's just... We said goodbye last night."

"I know. I guess I wanted to see you one last time."

She softened. "Tim..."

"Listen," Tim said quietly. "I've been thinking. You meet some guy down in Houston and he's in a band or something and he's like, a vegan or whatever, and you like him, go out with him, okay?"

"Tim-"

"No, I'm serious. It's okay, all right? We're not... together."

"Same goes for you," she replied softly, hoping it didn't show on her face how very little she meant those words. The thought of Tim hooking up with some leggy college cheerleader the minute he got to San Antonio... She wanted to cry. She couldn't think about that on top of everything else.

"I didn't expect this to be so hard," Julie said, after a pause.

Tim said nothing, merely shaking his head slightly.

"You'll email me, right?" she asked. "Let me know how things are going?"

"Sure," he replied, his voice almost too low to be audible.

"Friends?"

He squinted at her in the harsh morning light.

"Friends," he agreed.

Julie watched him for a moment, her eyes prickling with unshed tears. "I'm really gonna miss you," she said, her voice hoarse.

Tim looked down at her, his face tense. He opened his mouth as though to say something, then shut it, and looked away. He reached out and abruptly pulled her into a tight hug, burying his face in her hair.

"I love you, Jules," he said, his voice barely above a gruff whisper.

"Oh god, don't," Julie replied, choking on her words as the tears she'd been holding back slid down her cheeks. She hugged him back as hard and fierce as she could, trying to show him all the things she couldn't bring herself to say.

He waited with her until her parents emerged from the house, Gracie in tow. The Taylors piled into the SUV while Tim stood back, hands on his hips. Neither of her parents made any comment about how it really was a bit strange that Tim of all people was there to see Julie off to college. Julie appreciated it, and she suspected that Tim did, too.

Julie sat in the back seat next to Gracie, and, through the back window, watched Tim stand in the empty driveway as they pulled out and started down the street. He didn't speak or wave as they left. He just stood there watching them go.

Her eyes didn't leave him until her father turned the corner, and Tim disappeared.


	16. Epilogue

_**The formatting is pretty crappy for the following chapter, no matter what I do. If it's a pain to read, please feel free to head on over to my LiveJournal and read the epilogue there! The link is in my profile. Thanks for reading! :)_

Over a month passed before Julie heard from Tim.

Weeks of orientation, of introductions, of syllabi and textbooks and crappy cafeteria food and getting lost en route from one class to the next and navigating the strange new self-conscious culture of college.

Julie loved it. In some ways it was exactly what she expected, in other ways it was completely surprising. Those first few weeks passed in such a heady rush that she had almost no time to pause and recollect her thoughts, or to look back and think about everything that had happened that summer.

But an email appeared in her inbox one Tuesday evening, and when she saw the sender's name, her heart jumped. She opened the message immediately:

_**From: **tim riggins_

_**Sent:** Tuesday, September 21, 2010, 5:35 PM_

_**To:** Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject:** hi_

_Hi jules, it's me tim. Guess u figured that out already??_

_I'm not very good at writing but i didn't have your number there and thought it would be weird to ask coach for it so here i go. I'm not a great speller but this thing has one of those spellcheckers so hopefully you'll get me._

_Anyway i just wanted to let u know that i'm dropping out of san antonio state. They've been pretty good to me but i don't think it's really my thing. Like we talked about._

_Billy's pretty mad at me. He said i'm being an idiot, only he said it like he was surprised. Ha ha. Him and mindy are turning my bedroom into a real room for little jay so i think it's time i got out of there. Did you ever meet streeter's friend herc? Probably not I guess. He's a good guy and they lived together before street went to NYC. Anyway he still has a spare room so he said i could move in with him as long as i promise to share my ladies with him. I think he was joking._

_I looked into it and Dillon tech has an auto mech program. Billy hasn't fired me yet and i guess its good for the business if he takes on an apprentice so im going to save up some money and next year im gonna apply to there program. Do you think thats a good idea? I want to know what you think about it._

_Okay this is pretty long and i bet you have better stuff to do than read boring crap about me, ha ha. I just wanted to let you know where i was at._

_Try not to break too many hearts at rice u._

_tim_

_ps: write back if you have time._

_pps: I don't actually have any ladies._

_**From:** Julie Taylor_

_**Sent: **Tuesday, September 21, 2010, 7:40 PM_

_**To:** tim riggins_  
_**Subject: **re: hi_

_Hey, Tim... It's really good to hear from you._

_First of all: congratulations. I think you're doing the right thing for you. It sounds corny, but I really believe that you have to follow your heart and trust your instincts. That's easier said than done, but still. Anyway, it's not like you don't have a plan. You have a plan – a really good one! I checked out Dillon Tech's website and the program looks awesome. I know my dad would be happy to write you a reference if you need one for admissions?? Anyway, don't worry. Billy will get over it when he sees how happy you are. He's just being a good big brother, in his own way. Right?_

_Rice is awesome. Huge and scary, but awesome. My classes are great so far (except for one prof, but that's a story for another email!) and I lucked out and got a good roommate. Her name is Chelsea, she's from Oregon, and she's here on a soccer scholarship. She is not a football person, so it's been my job to basically explain life in Texas to her. We're having a good time so far. Venturing out into the college wilderness is slightly less terrifying when you've got a wingman. Or wingperson._

_Really good to hear from you... I definitely want to know where you're at. It's more than okay._

_Did I really just write that? Better hit send before I change my mind._

_Julie_

_**From: **Julie Taylor_

_**Sent:** Monday, September 27, 2010, 2:09 PM_

_**To:** tim riggins_  
_**Subject: **??_

_Jeez, I reply right away and this is the (lack of) response I get? Really nice, Riggins!_

_Julie_

_**From:** Julie Taylor_

_**Sent:** Thursday, September 30, 2010, 9:58 PM_

_**To:** tim riggins_  
_**Subject:** ..._

_Okay, now I'm embarrassed. Was my first email too gushy? I didn't mean anything by it..._

_Um._

_**From:** tim riggins_

_**Sent: **Sunday, October 3, 2010, 8:32 PM_

_**To:** Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject:** sorry!!!!_

_Jules,_

_Shit, i'm so sorry!! I woulda wrote back faster but i left school right after i wrote you and came back to Dillon. Billy and mindy don't have internet so i haven't checked my email since then. Your emails and a bunch of porn and other junk was all that was in there so you can see why i don't usually check it much. I moved into hercs place this weekend though so now i'm all set up. I figured youd be too busy with school and stuff to even read it right away. Im a dumbass!_

_Glad to hear things are good at school. Your roommate sounds cool, even though she isn't into football. Is she single? Just kidding. :) Make sure you get out lots and have fun... i always figure your only young once right? I bet there are tons of guys there who want to take you out._

_Okay anyway, I should go. Herc says theres a jean claude van dam marathon on later so we're going to get a couple pizzas and just chill. I have to run to the beer store first. Sargent riggins to the rescue again, ha ha._

_tim_

_ps: Herc was very excited to hear that your friends with tyra. He wants to know if you have her number in austin. I think maybe hes kidding?_

_pps: What's this about a crappy prof? Do I need to come down there and throw a block?_

_**From:** Julie Taylor_

_**Sent: **Wednesday, October 6, 2010, 12:15 PM_

_**To: **tim riggins_  
_**Subject:** re: sorry!!!!_

_Hey Tim,_

_It's okay, I just got kind of worried that either you had fallen off the face of the earth, or I was too lame to live. No big deal!_

_Also not a big deal: my crappy prof. He's the only bad one, Professor Berger. I think we just got off on the wrong foot. Usually teachers love me, so that's a new one for me. I was talking to a girl on my floor who has had classes with him before and she said that every year he picks out someone in the class to basically be his whipping boy/girl. I guess I'm the lucky one this year. My mom says sometimes college is just like that and I have to keep my head down and do my best, but it seems really unfair. I didn't even do anything, he just seems to get a kick out of making me look like an idiot._

_Ugh, whatever. I've thought about it too much already, I'm not going to bore you with the details! Thanks for the offer, though. I should be able to run the ball on my own, so to speak._

_I asked Tyra about Herc and she said he can have her number as long as he promises not to call and breathe heavily into the phone, because she gets enough of that from you. I assume she's kidding, but she was laughing too hard to tell me. Can you confirm/deny?_

_Julie_

_PS: I secretly love JCVD movies. The crappier, the better. Please don't tell anyone, my reputation as a culture vulture is at stake._

_PPS: My Dad was ranting about needing help with the Lions. Now that you're back in Dillon, I wondered if you might be interested. Let me know. If only to spare my ears more ranting._

_**From: **tim riggins_

_**Sent: **Monday, October 11, 2010, 7:30 PM_

_**To:** Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject:** re: sorry!!!!_

_That prof sounds like he sucks. Whats his deal? Can you transfer out of the class or something? Thats stupid. Nobody should be treating you that way. Your a prof's dream student._

_I gave coach a call and he asked me to come down and have a look at the team since i have nothing better to do. His words. They are still looking pretty rough, not gonna lie. They got some talent there tho so i think they will be okay they just have to listen to coach and work hard. Anyway your dad hired me as assistant offensive coordinator. Its actually just a part time job but it sounds like ill be able to work it around being at the garage so thats good. Until i start school next year i guess. It'll keep me out of trouble anyway._

_Tyra is kidding. Shes the one whose been leaving me creepy messages on my voicemail for years at this point. You can tell her i said that._

_JCVD is killer. Hes no Patrick Swayze but hes still pretty badass. We'll have to have our own marathon sometime? I wont tell anyone don't worry._

_tim_

_**From: **Julie Taylor_

_**Sent: **Tuesday, October 12, 2010, 3:22 PM_

_**To: **tim riggins_  
_**Subject: **re: sorry!!!!_

_Tim,_

_No can do – I need the class. But thanks for the affirmation. I'll tough it out._

_Glad to hear about your new gig, but not as glad as my dad, I'm betting. He's been more stressed out in the last year than he has been in a long time. Not since the year Jason got paralyzed and you guys won state. You're going to be such a huge help to him and the team!_

_I'm on the phone with Tyra right now – she says "you wish." Ha ha._

_So you're a Swayze fanboy? Never would have guessed. I assume we're not talking iDirty Dancing/i Swayze here._

_Julie_

_**From:** tim riggins_

_**Sent:** Monday, October 18, 2010, 6:57 PM_

_**To: **Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject: **re: sorry!!!!_

_Shitty deal. Your made of strong stuff Taylor. I would drop that class so fast. But then we already knew that._

_Yeah, i think coach is pretty happy about me coming on board. Hes crazy stressed but you can tell he loves it, you know? Itll be pretty sweet if we can beat the panthers. Never thought id be saying that but there you go._

_Obviously shes going to deny it to you, but the truth is that tyra is a perv who likes to leave me dirty messages. Always has been. Its sad really._

_Yes i am. Have you ever seen road house? If not you are missing out._

_tim_

_From: Julie Taylor_

_Sent: Thursday, October 21, 2010, 4:50 PM_

_To: tim riggins_  
_Subject: re: sorry!!!!_

_Tim,_

_If I was made of strong stuff, I wouldn't cry about it. Ha ha. Anyway, what did I tell you about getting down on yourself? Quit it or I'll be forced to hit you._

_Last time I talked to him, my dad sounded very positive about the Lions, so you must be doing something right! When do you go up against the Panthers?_

_Tyra has asked me to tell you that she is going to tell Landry that you are spreading false and vicious lies about her. I'm not sure why she thinks invoking the name of Landry is threatening. Maybe she fell and hit her head?_

_I have seen _Road House_ far more times than I care to think about. Bring it up to my dad sometime, I dare you. Talk about your Swayze fanboys._

_Julie_

_**From:** tim riggins_

_**Sent:** Thursday, October 28, 2010, 6:45 PM_

_**To: **Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject: **re: sorry!!!!_

_Crying over this Berger guy? Hes really picking on you. Thats messed up. Are you sure theres nothing you can do?_

_We don't play the panthers until almost the end of the regular season. The panthers are having an ok season but nothing to get excited about to be honest. They rely too much on mccoy still and he really chokes under pressure._

_Youd be surprised, lando can be pretty convincing when he wants to be._

_So i brought up road house to coach like you said and i am sorry to tell you that im going to be having a Swayze marathon with him one of these days so you might have to wait on that JCVD marathon. He said hed have to ask your mom. You don't even need to tell me hes not kidding. I believe him._

_tim_

_ps: are you coming home for thanksgiving? Home to Dillon i mean._

_**From:** Julie Taylor_

_**Sent:** Saturday, November 6, 2010, 3:45 AM_

_**To: **tim riggins_  
_**Subject:** ahhhhhh_

_I've had the worst week ever._

_Professor Berger humiliated me in class three separate times this week. Or I humiliated myself and he pointed it out to everyone. I don't know. It doesn't even matter. It's stupid to let my feelings get hurt but they are. This has never happened to me before and I don't understand. I feel like such an idiot. Other people say and do way stupider things in his class and he doesn't say anything. I've stopped putting my hand up at all. I want to crawl into a hole and die. Worst of all, I found out I'm failing the class. I've got solid As in every other class except his. My mom says I should talk to him, and Tyra agrees, but Chelsea thinks I should just hold my head up and show him he can't get to me. But he is getting to me. I don't know what to do. What do you think?_

_Chelsea and I went to our first frat party tonight to blow off some steam. It was horrible. I think it would have been fun if I'd a) been drunk, and b) known anyone except for Chelsea. Second time in my life my shoes have been puked on. We got home about an hour ago and I've just been sitting up thinking about things. Everything's so different now. I guess I'm just really slowing down and taking that in for the first time since I left Dillon._

_I'm really homesick right now. I miss my parents and Gracie and my own bedroom and Tyra and the Alamo Freeze and Dillon and Friday nights. That's right, I even miss Friday nights._

_I miss you. I really miss you. I wish... I don't know what I wish._

_Ugh, I'm so lame. Don't write back to me, I'm already embarrassed enough. I'm going to stop writing now and go to bed._

_Julie_

_PS: Please write back to me._

_**From:** tim riggins_

_**Sent:** Saturday, November 6, 2010, 7:59 AM_

_**To:** Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject: **re: ahhhhhh_

_Im sorry things are such crap. Im trying to talk myself out of driving down there to beat the shit out of this Berger guy. Total douchebag. Just ignore him, you are worth ten of guys like that. Not to mention those frat guys. Nobody likes those assholes. Whats with these guys in Houston?_

_You didn't answer my question – are you coming home for thanksgiving? Maybe we could see each other if your not too busy with family stuff. Let me know._

_I miss you too, jules. Tons. I didn't want to wreck college for you or be a selfish asshole by whining about it but the truth is i'm lonely as hell and i'm going crazy here without you._

_tim_

_**From: **Julie Taylor_

_**Sent:** Saturday, November 6, 2010, 10:35 AM_

_**To:** tim riggins_  
_**Subject:** re: ahhhhhh_

_Forget Thanksgiving. Can you meet me in San Antonio next weekend?_

_Julie_

_**From: **tim riggins_

_**Sent:** Saturday, November 6, 2010, 11:03 AM_

_**To:** Julie Taylor_

_**Subject: **re: ahhhhhh_

_Seriously?_

_**From: **Julie Taylor_

_**Sent:** Saturday, November 6, 2010, 11:27 AM_

_**To:** tim riggins_  
_**Subject:** re: ahhhhhh_

_Serious as a heart attack._

_**From:** tim riggins_

_**Sent:** Saturday, November 6, 2010, 11:45 AM_

_**To: **Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject:** re: ahhhhhh_

_Theres a Super 8 just off the I-10, I used to drive by it on my way home last year. I'll leave as soon as I get off work on Friday – the Lions have a by-week. Okay?_

_**From: **Julie Taylor_

_**Sent: **Saturday, November 6, 2010, 11:51 AM_

_**To: **tim riggins_  
_**Subject: **re: ahhhhhh_

_Ah! For a sec I thought maybe you didn't want to or something... Sounds perfect. Wish we could go right this minute!!_

_Julie_

_**From:** tim riggins_

_**Sent:** Saturday, November 6, 2010, 12:11 PM_

_**To: **Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject:** re: ahhhhhh_

_That could be arranged... :)_

_**From:** Julie Taylor_

_**Sent:** Saturday, November 6, 2010, 12:17 PM_

_**To: **tim riggins_  
_**Subject: **re: ahhhhhh_

_I wish. Found the website, and I'm making reservations right now. I think my parents wanted me to use this credit card for buying text books, not renting motel rooms. Oh well!_

_Julie_

_**From:** tim riggins_

_**Sent:** Saturday, November 6, 2010, 12:25 PM_

_**To: **Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject:** re: ahhhhhh_

_Can't wait to see you. Seriously. Herc just asked me if I won the lottery cuz im sitting here smiling at his computer like an idiot._

_**From:** Julie Taylor_

_**Sent: **Saturday, November 6, 2010, 12:34 PM_

_**To: **tim riggins_  
_**Subject:** re: ahhhhhh_

_Do I get to meet Herc one of these days?_

_Julie_

_**From:** tim riggins_

_**Sent:** Saturday, November 6, 2010, 12:39 PM_

_**To: **Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject:** re: ahhhhhh_

_Fat chance. He has a thing for blondes._

_**From:** Julie Taylor_

_**Sent: **Saturday, November 6, 2010, 12:42 PM_

_**To:** tim riggins_

_**Subject:** re: ahhhhhh_

_Too bad for him I have a thing for football players. :)_

_From: tim riggins_

_Sent: Saturday, November 6, 2010, 12:46 PM_

_To: Julie Taylor_  
_Subject: re: ahhhhhh_

_His loss. Big time._

_**From:** Julie Taylor_

_**Sent:** Monday, November 8, 2010, 7:25 PM_

_**To:** tim riggins_  
_**Subject: **sigh!_

_Is it Friday yet?_

_**From:** tim riggins_

_**Sent:** Tuesday, November 9, 2010, 6:50 PM_

_**To:** Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject:** re: sigh!_

_You got a hot date or something?_

_**From: **Julie Taylor_

_**Sent: **Tuesday, November 9, 2010, 10:15 PM_

_**To:** Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject: **re: sigh!_

_I do. But you don't know him._

_Three sleeps._

_**From:** tim riggins_

_**Sent:** Wednesday, November 10, 2010, 6:30 PM_

_**To: **Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject:** re: sigh!_

_Sounds fun. I'll just hang out at the motel till you two are finished._

_2 sleeps._

_**From: **Julie Taylor_

_**Sent: **Thursday, November 11, 2010, 9:30 AM_

_**To:** tim riggins_  
_**Subject:** re: sigh!_

_Not sure how I'm going to get through my classes, I'm that excited. It's probably incredibly dorky to tell you that... Tyra would be appalled! Oh well._

_One more sleep!_

_**From:** tim riggins_

_**Sent: **Thursday, November 11, 2010, 5:45 PM_

_**To:** Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject:** re: sigh!_

_It's not dorky. I like it._

_See u tomorrow._

_**From:** Julie Taylor_

_**Sent: **Sunday, November 14, 2010, 8:50 PM_

_**To:** tim riggins_  
_**Subject:** ..._

_Tim,_

_Just got home._

_The whole drive back to Houston, something was bothering me. I forgot to tell you something really important in the parking lot when we were saying goodbye: I love you._

_I don't care if we've both been burned by the long distance thing. I don't care if it's stupid. I don't care if you think I should be meeting new people and going out with college guys. I don't care that we're going to be 500 miles away from each other most of the time and it's going to suck. I don't care if this is crazy and it makes no sense. I love you and I want to be with you, even if being with you means just emails and phone calls most of the time. I can't pretend that you're just my friend. I love you._

_I don't know if this will work. The reasonable part of me says it won't. But can we try? Please?_

_This is the scariest email I have ever sent, and I'm thankful I'm in another city when you're reading it. Just so you know._

_Love,_

_Julie_

_**From:** tim riggins_

_**Sent:** Monday, November 15, 2010, 2:37 AM_

_**To:** Julie Taylor_  
_**Subject:** re: ..._

_Your scariest email ever is the best email I've ever gotten._

_I love you too. I'm in._

_love,_

_tim_

_ps: how do you feel about phone sex?_


End file.
